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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Given car away

78 replies

Hadsuchahardday · 15/03/2018 14:39

At Xmas D Neice spoke about having driving lessons and hoping to buy a little run-a-round. My DH said she could have his car (for free) as he was looking for a new car anyway. Said car had already been passed along to him from another person in all of our extended family. DN passed test and car was given over week or so later. Next month DN turns 18 and we are both wishing we’d said the car would be her present, we really don’t want to give her anything else. How can we get round this? Do we: send card and say nothing, send card and say’hope you’re enjoying the car’ (as a hint) or send card and write something to say that the car is the present- but not sure how to phrase that. Help MNetters.

OP posts:
NotAllTimsWearCapes · 15/03/2018 14:40

Hmm the car that you got for free?

PrettyLittIeThing · 15/03/2018 14:40

A card is fine IMO.

spicerack · 15/03/2018 14:41

card and hope you're enjoying card, it's close enough to her birthday to seem like a present, it's not like you gave it to her 6 months ago and are saying it's a present

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 15/03/2018 14:41

Get her a present and stop being tight gits.

spicerack · 15/03/2018 14:41

*car

spicerack · 15/03/2018 14:42

notalltimswearcapes tight gits for giving a 17 year old a free car? stop being a dick

GoldenHefalump · 15/03/2018 14:43

Spend a fiver on a hanging dice or something and wrap as her present - on the tag put 'thought your car could do with this!' or similar...it's enough of a hint plus you have something to give.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 15/03/2018 14:43

I think I'd buy something small for the car like a first aid kit or cleaning kit.

FullLaundryBasket · 15/03/2018 14:44

I would give a card and a small token gift eg a £12 bottle of prosecco. I would explain in person when handing it over, I'd say happy birthday, I wanted to get you a little something to open but it's just a small gift due to the car. Then change topic of convo. I wouldn't press on about the car or write it in her card. Lovely of your DH to pass the car along, I bet she is dead chuffed with it!

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 15/03/2018 14:44

Yes a free car that they didn’t pay for either. They’ve passed on their unwanted junk and are now 3/4 months later trying to pass it off as a gift.

KarmaStar · 15/03/2018 14:45

I'm sure that being given a car,she would not expect another expensive gift,as it is her 18th you might like to get her a small keepsake with a card .and/or something inexpensive for the car to 'tie it in'? She's probably really excited and would not dream of expecting you to spend loads

Namechangetempissue · 15/03/2018 14:45

So you didn't purchase the car originally, it was given to you for free? I would get a small gift and card. Surely you are just passing on a freebie? We did this with a car in our family, it was passed down for free to those who needed it. Nobody took payment or gave it as a gift.

scurryfunge · 15/03/2018 14:46

If it was unwanted junk then it would have been scrapped.

spicerack · 15/03/2018 14:46

notalltimswearcapes well when i was 17 I would've been happy with a free car wether they person giving it had paid for it or not, I wouldn't be so spoilt to think they were tight to not give anything else.

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 15/03/2018 14:47

No, lots of people pass on their unwanted junk to others who can use it. Ever heard of freecycle?

OP get her a card and a bottle of something.

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 15/03/2018 14:49

Oh I would have been over the moon with a free car at 17 too. But i’d Have Hmm if the person that gave it then decided a few months later that it was now my birthday present without ever having mentioned it at the time. Especially as it cost them nothing.

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 15/03/2018 14:51

“I don’t need this old fridge, would you like it? I got it free from X so it cost me nothing.”

3 months later. “The fridge was your birthday present.”

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 15/03/2018 14:52

I can just imagine the thread from the other perspective. Grin

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 15/03/2018 14:52

Just send a card if you don't want to buy her anything else. Tbh it's a bit stingy as DH was getting rid of his car anyway plus it was free to him too.

scurryfunge · 15/03/2018 14:53

Assuming it is a run around that you could pick for around 500 quid it is still a generous gift. Unless the op normally spends much more than that amount on her niece.

expatinscotland · 15/03/2018 14:55

YABU. Would it kill you to give her a bottle of bubbly?

Redglitter · 15/03/2018 14:57

I think the fact you got the car for free and passed it on to her to not get her anything for her 18th is a bit miserable. You didn't buy the car for her you passed it on. A really nice thing to do but it's a bit late to say its her birthday present.

Lethaldrizzle · 15/03/2018 14:57

The car was v generous already. Just send a text or a card

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 15/03/2018 15:01

A text?

PieAndPumpkins · 15/03/2018 15:04

I always think explaining awkward situations is even more cringey. I like the above suggestion of something for the car - this is also a kind of visual reminder that you've just given her a car. Does your family normally splash out on extended family birthday gifts?

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