To refuse to read this book to DD aged 4?

[Happyland8]

I know the Jill Murphy, The Large Family books are much loved and much though I like the others, I just can't bring myself to read "A Piece Of Cake" to my DD. We started reading it last night and I stopped on page 1 and said we'd do a different book.

DD is quite naive (as are most kids of that age). She understands about the importance of having a balanced diet in the sense that some foods are healthy and others are unhealthy. She knows we should eat lots of the healthy and a little bit of the unhealthy.

I'm very careful about what I say in front of DD, for example, if I wasn't feeling great about my size, I wouldn't say "I look/feel fat".

I've read this whole book and really dislike the message it sends. The Mum decides she's fat, the family go on a diet and then in the end they eat the cake and decide that elephants are meant to be fat. AIBU? Or is this not a great message to be sending to children? I've attached the first 2 pages and the last page.

I'm literally lolling this thread is so funny!

Yup my thoughts exactly. Got the book in charity shop and read it once...not a fan. YANBU

is it really possible that very few MNers mention negative feelings about own body size stuff to their own kids? I don't believe that.

Well I never did, because I didn't have negative feelings about my size, and I'm sure there are plenty of others like me.

Why would we mention negative things about our own body size to our children? It would seem a bizarre and slightly fucked up thing to do to me.

I wouldn't read this to my children. But then I edited the word "fat" out of The Very Hungry Caterpillar when I read it.

I agree strongly with you OP that no food is inherently healthy or unhealthy.

I love MN when a totally bizarre concept (binning a child's book because it depicts body issues within an urban elephant family) is countered with true facts (elephant metabolism, body fat ratio etc). There isn't enough of these threads!

I used to love that exact book as a child, and I have a healthy relationship with food as an adult. They're going to read / see / hear much more extreme messages later on

YABU

Why would you mention your negative feelings about your body to your kids?

That is fucked up.

I do have scales, but I'm actually quite careful that the DC never see me using them!

I don't mind it in the Very Hungry Caterpillar, because he's stored up all that fat for a reason. He needs the energy to turn into a butterfly.

Agree that Thomas the Tank Engine is the ultimate miserable, offensive and joyless pile of cack. Obsessed with punishment and humiliation, sneering at anyone who doesn't fit in, and moralistic smuggery. Ugh I hate it. I never bought any but we got given one which I went to great lengths to "lose" down the back of a cupboard.

What's wrong with someone calling themselves fat? If they're fat, they're fat. It's a fact people should stop skirting around.

No, I would not read it to my children. I have purposefully never said anything to either my DS or DD about diets or being over or underweight, not talked about it in relation to myself. I do not want my daughter to be over conscious of how her body looks. Many girls with eating disorders start thinking about being fat/thin at an early age. There is little we can do re images in social media etc when they’re older, so at least in childhood as far as I’m concerned “going on a diet”. A scenario in aicture book where all the other members of a family think it’s OK to comment on a woman’s weight and pass judgement is just not on.

Somebody's said they edited the word 'fat' out of the hungry caterpillar. What did you say instead? Adipose tissue? It's a caterpillar, for fucks sake. Saw an obese pigeon the other day, my son said "look at that fat pigeon!" because it was very fucking fat. What a dreadful child he is, and what a piss poor parent I am for exposing my children to such abhorrent words.

I hate Peppa Pig for the same reason. After watching it my DS asks for chocolate cake at every meal time bloody George Pig

For all the people who say it’s about an elephant, erm...well, yes, but elephants don’t live in houses, wear dresses, or have chats about BMI. So, from the child’s perspective, this is a family with a mummy, daddy and children - like it’s own family. It’s not a story about elephants on the African grasslands a la David Attenborough. The message about women, fat, diets is still there.

Okay maybe a tiny bit tongue in cheek, but aren’t you imposing censorship here OP?

In real life expressing sentiments like that to a child would not be great but the character and the book does allow you to put a slant on it which is much better. For example if my mum said she was too fat in front of DD I would hopefully pull her up on not saying stuff like that but I might also be likely to be caught off guard and sympathise/ offer advice etc.

If we were reading this, we could talk about bodies and different sizes and I could answer some questions.

Those of you upset by ‘5 minutes peace’ might be alarmed by mine and DDs favourite book being ‘Not now Bernhard’ by David McKee. We mercilessly rip the piss out of the parents.

The thing is where do you stop? I work in a secondary school and the librarian was telling me that one parent had requested his daughter was not to borrow books with anything alluding to abuse, sex, violence etc. Now my thoughts would be surely a story with the opportunity to empathise with characters and situations is a good way to introduce a child to the themes so they can understand that things are wrong/ go and ask questions.

I was at a toddler group a few years back where we weren't allowed to sing Five Fat Sausages for this reason. Totally daft imo.

I agree happy but you can get fat by overeating healthy foods. You can get fat by being too inactive. It should be part of her education. I have 2 DDs now teens. I have never talked about being on a diet around them etc but I have taught them portion control and about not being greedy, as I was by my parents. I don't know why you wouldn't.

It's not all about getting fat though is it? If you don't nourish your body properly, you can also be underweight which can be extremely detrimental to health. You don't hear parents saying "you have to eat your food so you don't get underweight" do you? But so much emphasis on not getting fat.

I choose to educate my children on how to nourish and take care of their bodies in order to be healthy and to understand that food is an important fuel for us and exercise is equally important. We don't talk about being fat or being thin though. I don't see why DD would need to think about that right now.

You don't hear parents saying "you have to eat your food so you don't get underweight"

Maybe not underweight, but I have said, and heard other parents say to their dc that they need eat to stay alive and be healthy.

We're in the middle of an obesity epidemic just now so obviously we're getting something wrong in terms of how we're teaching children about staying healthy & active. I absolutely hate diet culture and I don't think exposing very young children to that is in any way beneficial.

Maybe not underweight, but I have said, and heard other parents say to their dc that they need eat to stay alive and be healthy.

That's my point exactly. You tell them it's about staying healthy which is how I discuss eating too much or eating foods such as cakes, sweets etc. I explain that we shouldn't eat too many sugary foods so that we are healthy and it's important not to overeat so we stay healthy. I don't think I need to discuss being fat or thin when she's four years old.

You don't hear parents saying "you have to eat your food so you don't get underweight"

I don't use the word "underweight" but I do have to encourage my DS to take in more calories as he's very skinny. He's quite serious and hears all the messages about obesity and avoiding sugar, then worries about it.

And for the parents who are dealing with anorexia, it's certainly an issue.

I have not read all the replies but I would read it and let her know your view on it. My son is 5 and in Year 1 and he came home from school saying he doesn’t want to get fat. They teach them about healthy eating at school so best you get the chance to talk to her before the school do

No, if you don't want to, don't read it.
Not now Bernard is one I remember picking up to read to my son as I remembered it from childhood.
I totally forgot about the ending.

I haven’t even read anything yet but I absolutely love the large family books. I’ve bought 4 so far for my two little ones. They love them. Fat is fat not sure why people skip around it. I am fat that is what I am. I am fat because of health conditions and I eat a lot of shit. My elder child knows this but gets told it’s not nice to say incase people get upset but that yes, mummy is fat.

You’re overreacting!

Well the books are about elephants not humans.

So I would interpret it as the mummy elephant being happy with herself because that is the way way she’s made.