To refuse to read this book to DD aged 4?

[Happyland8]

I know the Jill Murphy, The Large Family books are much loved and much though I like the others, I just can't bring myself to read "A Piece Of Cake" to my DD. We started reading it last night and I stopped on page 1 and said we'd do a different book.

DD is quite naive (as are most kids of that age). She understands about the importance of having a balanced diet in the sense that some foods are healthy and others are unhealthy. She knows we should eat lots of the healthy and a little bit of the unhealthy.

I'm very careful about what I say in front of DD, for example, if I wasn't feeling great about my size, I wouldn't say "I look/feel fat".

I've read this whole book and really dislike the message it sends. The Mum decides she's fat, the family go on a diet and then in the end they eat the cake and decide that elephants are meant to be fat. AIBU? Or is this not a great message to be sending to children? I've attached the first 2 pages and the last page.

In all honesty, I want to focus on health rather than weight as such with her. Staying active, eating well in order to stay healthy rather than staying active and eating well in order to stay slim. If she’s healthy, a biproduct if that is that she’s likely to be a healthy weight.

I'm very wary about condoning/discussing/validating diet culture around my DC, especially DDs (5&6). Two sisters hospitalised due to eating disorders and myself having an awful relationship with food, and no, I wouldn't read that book to them.

I don't think it's awful and most people would be fine in my family with our history of food issues it just wouldn't feel right and I would hate to promote and "all or nothing" approach to healthy food, even in a book about elephants.

I wouldn’t read it to mine either

What's wrong with healthy eating?

TIRFandProud have you RTFT? Or seen this page?

I agree happy but you can get fat by overeating healthy foods. You can get fat by being too inactive. It should be part of her education. I have 2 DDs now teens. I have never talked about being on a diet around them etc but I have taught them portion control and about not being greedy, as I was by my parents. I don't know why you wouldn't.

Both are a healthy weight btw.

Happy it's fictional book. You read it and talk about it including the characters and what you and your DD think of them and what they say.

They are elephants. Elephants are fat. Your DD is not an elephant (I presume)

Pedantry alert...

On top of the body image angst and talk of "diets" (which it's pretty widely known are are counterproductive) - it's even factually wrong, as elephants aren't fat (except some in zoos). They're heavy but it's mostly bone, muscle and the weight of food in the digestive system. Elephants only eat plants and have big stomachs because (like cows) they're processing a lot of foliage.

According to this study elephant body fat is 5-16% which is less than a healthy human's body fat percentage.

This thread is MN at its most deliciously bonkers.

That's interesting *CaptainCardamom - so basically the Large family, given they presented as fairly typical in terms of elephant size may well have actually been UNDERWEIGHT. That might explain why the exercise left them feeling terrible - they're probably technically malnourished in human terms.

I'm with you in not discussing weight negatively or positively, or using 'fat' as an insult. But, my children have that book and we've enjoyed it together for many years without it being an issue, or them ever having referred to somebodies weight. If anything I think the book reinforces that there are worse things than being chunky, which elephants by nature, are. We all come in different shapes and sizes, and that's okay. It's just a fun book, written with humour.

Maybe I'm weird, but I took the book to mean (if it were to mean anything) that some body types can't be shoe-horned into society's ideal no matter what. No elephant can be as small and live off so little as a mouse, no matter what they try.

As a young teen girl, I didn't like my body at all. I wanted to be narrower - in my hips, in my shoulders, in my legs and in my ankles. My family (on my mother's side) are literally big boned - we never have defined ankles even if we're underweight. We all have muscular calves and broad hips and shoulders.

I look back at my old photos and I was beautiful and a healthy weight but I felt such a fat awkward thing next to my slender classmates.

I would definitely not choose that book but in fact children will get all sorts of messages you dont like throughout life. I actually think that books are a great way to address and discuss issues with children. I think if a book says something that gives a bad message , depending on the age of the child I would use it to talk about things people say and do, and why it is not healthy to think about being fat/thin, dieting etc. They will have all the wretched magazines, celebs. tv thrust in their face soon. . Get it out there and talk about it, and teach by example. Not weighing yourself , not talking about dieting, or feeling fat. or unhealthy attitudes towards food

This thread is MN at its most deliciously bonkers.

Absolutely!!

@TossDaily

Good grief. The world is going slowly mad.

I very much agree with BlurryFace

I think Jill Murphy was going through a rough patch when she wrote those books. They’re all a bit sad.

Honestly I think only people with food issues would have an issue with it.

We have no food issues and so none of my kids would bat an eyelid and neither would I.

My 2 kids enjoyed all those toddler books about the Large elephant family. They also enjoyed Little Black Sambo. They are now in their 20’s. Neither of them have eating disorders, both are a healthy weight and neither of them are racist.
I also read them Little Red Riding Hood, and it didn’t make them axe murderers or granny bashers.
I think you are looking at children’s books through inappropriately adult eyes. Kids see books as imaginative stories about different people and places, not instructions on how to live their own lives. How dull it would be if we went back to Victorian morality tales for children, just turgid prose on how to be good, eat their greens and defer to their elders!

Although my mom & friends loved exercise they also moaned about it. On top of constant moaning about feeling fat. That was a constant chorus when I grew up... is it really possible that very few MNers mention negative feelings about own body size stuff to their own kids? I don't believe that.

Refreshing to have a book that grapples with body size issues & self discipline to do exercise in a light-hearted way.

The Large Family books are an appalling Anthropomorphisation of a majestic species that trivialises the elephant’s true intelligence and contribution to the diversity of the animal kingdom.

(Only kidding, we loved them, especially 5 minutes peace. Our DCs really got the implicit humour. Another fantastic book is ‘not now Bernard’- a lesson for parents everywhere )

Well, fuck me. Good on you, though, if this is all you've got to concern yourself with.

Only kidding, we loved them, especially 5 minutes peace. Our DCs really got the implicit humour. Another fantastic book is ‘not now Bernard’- a lesson for parents everywhere oh we loved that book! And Jill Murphy. This thread is bonkers.