To refuse to read this book to DD aged 4?

[Happyland8]

I know the Jill Murphy, The Large Family books are much loved and much though I like the others, I just can't bring myself to read "A Piece Of Cake" to my DD. We started reading it last night and I stopped on page 1 and said we'd do a different book.

DD is quite naive (as are most kids of that age). She understands about the importance of having a balanced diet in the sense that some foods are healthy and others are unhealthy. She knows we should eat lots of the healthy and a little bit of the unhealthy.

I'm very careful about what I say in front of DD, for example, if I wasn't feeling great about my size, I wouldn't say "I look/feel fat".

I've read this whole book and really dislike the message it sends. The Mum decides she's fat, the family go on a diet and then in the end they eat the cake and decide that elephants are meant to be fat. AIBU? Or is this not a great message to be sending to children? I've attached the first 2 pages and the last page.

They're a bunch of fictitious elephants, in a book. Aka not real. Why are you taking it so seriously.

that very few MNers mention negative feelings about own body size stuff to their own kids? I don't believe that.
Refreshing to have a book that grapples with body size issues & self discipline to do exercise in a light-hearted way.

Completely. I dont want my children to grow up thinking that having hang ups or feeling anything less than completely confident is wrong or something to be ashamed of and kept quiet, that is when damage is done when people try and keep it in and let their insecurities eat away at them. Our children will feel inscure sometimes no matter how we parent them, they are not going to think that everything about them is perfect all of the time. With something like weight there are healthy ways to make healthy changes to your mind and your body.
If you educate your children food, weight, body imagine honestly and factually from a young age then they are less likely to stuggle than if they are left to deal with it all on their own.

My 3 year old came home with this book from nursery today! 😂

Parenting has changed in the last few years. My oldest is 25, my youngest 8. I'm so glad they're not toddlers now, because these days the whole fucking world and everything in it is offensive and "sending the wrong message". Books are meant to be fun, not dull, virtuous piles of wank.

I read the Large family books to my 5 children and they're all slim healthy and happy. And I never dressed my son in a pink tutu.

I don't really agree either that some food is inherently unhealthy (unless it is spoiled or poisoned

I find this an odd opinion. I am absolutely not a purist, but I often throw my dgd's leftoever sweets in the inorganic rubbish.

See I think it's the Jill Murphy books that are dull and virtuous and make you feel like you don't deserve to exist. Because the tone in them is that the miserable parents are right.

Whereas Not Now Bernard is the opposite - his parents are obviously horrendous and you are meant to be on his side.

I don't like virtuous pile of wank books and I don't think books these days are all like that (though a lot of them are dull and derivative). They may tr harder to avoid body shaming, racism, sexism etc which can be done without being dull.

It's not 'overthinking' to recognise a heap of shit.

I've read this book to my children they are perfectly healthy. I quite like the large family books.

Now if u want something that is totally not PC check out 'the hefty fairy' here's a blurb about the story.

The hefty fairy is shaped like an egg, and has been told by the other fairies never to fly when they are in the air because she crashes into them. The others go off each evening with 20 pence pieces to collect milk teeth from under children's pillows, but they won't allow the hefty fairy to try. 'You're far too fat for such a delicate task.' One day the hefty fairy finds a shiny 20 pence piece and decides she will find her own tooth. With many struggles and hardships, she does just that, but she loses the tooth on the way home, and the other fairies refuse to believe she has found one. It is the fairy queen who has found the tooth, and she and the hefty fairy have it as a secret - something only the two of them share. The hefty fairy understands that she is 'just as good as any other fairy'. Delicate, but humourous illustrations, some of which may need explanation.

I hate 5 minutes peace. I loved ‘The Worst Witch’ though when I was younger. Only realised they are the same author today.

@Happyland8 I think, like a lot of books with themes that could be tricky, it's all in the discussion around the book that you have with your child. For example, when I read this book to my five year old on the page with the 'everyone felt awful' line, I read 'healthy' as though it's in inverted commas and make some comment about how the diet the Large family are eating isn't actually that healthy as it's not providing them with enough energy to enjoy their jog. We talk about how some food gives us lots of energy to exercise and do active things and other foods, such as vegetables, don't contain as much energy but have important vitamins to help keep our bodies healthy. We talk about how they can eat the cake as part of a healthy, balanced diet, they just need to make sure they don't eat too many sweet things as they are bad for teeth, don't leave enough room for other foods which provide other nutrients our bodies need etc.

No no no no no

No discussions, no chat about healthy bodies, no using it as some kind of education moment....

Just stfu about appearance, weight, diet. Just stop fucking talking about it.

The best thing you can do for your kids.

The book looks pretty bleh and boring regardless of the message.

I loved the large family when I was little! My mum saved the 3 books I had about them for my DD who also enjoyed them.

I honestly can’t get worked up about an inoffensive picture book mind you, my children have picked some truly dreadful shite to read at bedtime and I read them all. Except when I try to hide them to give myself a break....

But we don't live in a vacuum where nobody ever mentions these things, if nothing else schools discuss healthy diet, they talked about it at pre-school too! I don't know exactly what they say and whether it's what I'd consider to be too black and white, so rather than thinking that some foods are wholly healthy and others entirely unhealthy I would rather my child is also aware of balance. I agree that constantly making reference to it is definitely a bad thing and I would much rather it wasn't a big thing but given that I am not the only influence on my child I want to try to ensure that I am providing her with some information as she will inevitably hearing stuff from elsewhere.

I treat any of the school information as a crashingly boring non event to try to balance out the madness

We got given this book, and after leafing through it, I filed it in the dustbin. There are many, many better books to read to your child.

Completely agree, OP. My DD came home from Nursery with this a few years ago and I didn't read it to her.

Just stfu about appearance, weight, diet. Just stop fucking talking about it.
The best thing you can do for your kids.

Not true at all.
They are all important topics that your child is going to be subjected to constantly throughout their lives, the best thing you can do for them is to teach them properly and talk about these things. Dont bury yout head in the ground and leave them to have to deal with it alone.

I disagree and so do a lot of experts on kids and body image

I read this book to my kids 30 years or so ago I think that was before the whole "fat shaming" thing became an issue. It was one of a range of highly illustrated books that they enjoyed when they were very young. Quite honestly I didn't mind the Mrs Large books at all unlike the interminably, dull and sexist Thomas the Tank stories which mine clamoured for, I think they had started reading by then so I suggested they read them to themselves.

It's a good message. It's about peoples perceptions of their own image and accepting themselves for who they are and loving their own bodies.

How has that turned into a bad message?

It's like the episode of friends where Phoebe's mum didn't let her watch the end of any films which were sad. It seemed funny at the time. Now I've read this post. Smdh.

YANBU

There are plenty of other proper books not normalising unhealthy body sizes.

It's not an unhealthy body size, for an elephant. that is literally the point!

Oh ffs.
I was reading the faraway tree earlier, and they called moon face odd.
‘They shouldn’t call someone with a moon for a face odd, everyone is different, they aren’t promoting self acceptance!!’ 😂😂
Or you could be a normal person an realise it’s a book about elephants and no 4 year old will care or take it to heart and think trampolining and exercise is awful for elephants like every child that’s ever read it. Assuming your child isn’t a cartoon elephant wearing a tracksuit.
What a ridiculous thread