Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think flatmate is unreasonable?

67 replies

EmiratesLadybird · 15/03/2018 09:21

I ordered some food late at night and arrived at 2am - I asked them to leave outside and not ring bell. They rang bell once and I quietly went downstairs to collect. Everyone else in my flat slept soundly apart from one, who has asked that I make sure it never happens again... I have obviously apologised but I can’t promise to not do it ever again! Who is being fair? It was a one-off and I will do best to make sure I don’t wake anyone but it seems extreme to demand that

OP posts:

Optimist1 · 15/03/2018 09:29

OK, so you weren't to blame this time because the person delivering ignored your instructions, but I can see why your flatmate was so pissed off. In future you'll have to be at the door waiting for the delivery person to hand it over to you.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 15/03/2018 09:30

You could have asked them to text you instead of ringing the bell, I think it's unreasonable to expect the delivery person to just leave it outside with no notification they've been.

I'd not have been happy if I was woken at 2am by the doorbell either.

Paie · 15/03/2018 09:31

Nobody was BU.

I'd be pissed at being woken at 2am.

I don't think it's particularly unreasonable for them to say "make sure it never happens again". They're hardly going to say "make sure it doesn't happen occasionally ".

maybe ring the company that's delivering and double check they got the message to please not ring the bell? Little extra effort on your part and everyone is happy

Or just order all your neighbours ice cream to apologise for the disturbance

Shoxfordian · 15/03/2018 09:33

You're unreasonable for ordering food at 2am
I wouldn't be impressed at being woken up by the doorbell then; its really inconsiderate

stitchglitched · 15/03/2018 09:36

What is unreasonable about her asking you to make sure it doesn't happen again? I thought you were going to say she reacted violently or aggressively or something! In your position I would have kept lookout by the door so that I didn't wake anyone.

Babyplaymat · 15/03/2018 09:37

You weren't unreasonable to order, but should really have been keeping an eye out to avoid this happening. I'd be pissed off at being woken by a door bell at that time of night.

MrsCrabbyTree · 15/03/2018 09:54

Sorry, at 2am you should have been near the door waiting if you didn't want the driver to ring the bell. Look on this as part of a learning curve towards being considerate - it takes a mistake or two before anyone is perfect.

Creambun2 · 15/03/2018 09:56

You sound entitled. You have to consider others when you share

Alabama3 · 15/03/2018 09:58

YABU you should not have let them need to ask you this - you should have been by the door waiting

purplecorkheart · 15/03/2018 10:03

Sorry but you should have been waiting at the door.

Celebelly · 15/03/2018 10:06

Yes, I think I'd be waiting at the door and opening it before they got close enough to ring the bell at that time of the morning. If I had an early start or something and was woken up at 2am, I'd be grumpy too.

TheJoyOfSox · 15/03/2018 10:12

If I was woken at 2am because of you, I’d struggle to see your point of view too. I would 100% blame you for not being at the door waiting for your delivery.
My sympathies go to your flat mate.

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 10:14

Your flatmate sounds more than reasonable to me. Most people would have kept a look at the door to make sure no one is being awaken. You didn't do anything bad on purpose, but next time you need to be more vigilant.

Many of us wouldn't be able to go back to sleep that easily, I would be wondering what's going on if the door bell rings at 2am!

lottiegarbanzo · 15/03/2018 10:15

Of course it's not extreme to ask that of you and of course you should agree to it, unreservedly.

If you know in advance that your behaviour is likely to be so antisocial as to involve waking your flatmates at 2am - not by unforeseen accident but by design, and predictable deliverer habit-driven mistakes - then I think you need to stop flat-sharing and find your own place.

Imsosceptical · 15/03/2018 10:19

I will be honest, I would be very grumpy being woken at 2am, i would probably struggle to get back into any kind of quality sleep for the rest of the night. I could get over it if I wasn't working the next morning but if it happened regularly on work nights I would get pretty annoyed and would have some concerns about my flat mates unsocial habits.

LanguidLobster · 15/03/2018 10:21

C'mon OP you got fed, flatmate didn't throw it at you, and you'll have to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Put a note over the door as well as instructing the eatery when you order. Do you finish work really late or something?

FluffyHippo · 15/03/2018 10:23

Why on earth were you ordering take-out at 2.00am? If you were hungry, why not make yourself something with what you had?

Your actions were pretty selfish - you were only thinking of your own needs and not considering how your actions might impact on those around you (which is pretty typical of most people these days!)

Hermonie2016 · 15/03/2018 10:24

I am light sleeper and a 2am bell would have me awake, probadly alert as thinking it was suspicious and unlikely to get back to sleep.
I think you should have waited near the door so that you were ready before they had to ring the bell.
If she didn't sleep suspect she was grumpy so you need to cut her some slack for her approach to you.

blackteasplease · 15/03/2018 10:27

I think you should have waited by the door at that time as a pp has said. And your flatmate has a right to be annoyed.

Is it the words "make sure" thst annoy you? It is a bit like talking down to you but may be they were fed up at being distrlurbed.

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 10:27

Why on earth were you ordering take-out at 2.00am?

why not? What's the difference between 7pm and 2am if you are hungry? apart from waking up your household

Oooeeeerrrrrindeed · 15/03/2018 10:31

They are BU if they expect, in shared living, for occaisional disturbances to never happen.

Sirzy · 15/03/2018 10:31

I am sure I am not the only one who would wake in panic hearing the doorbell at that time.

ThoraCentisis · 15/03/2018 10:33

It's not extreme for your flatmate to ask you not to wake her up at 2am!

Crinkle77 · 15/03/2018 10:34

Next time stick a note over the door bell.

Poshsausage · 15/03/2018 10:35

You could have easily ensured that bell wasn’t rung , tape a note to the doorbell take out battery keep an eye and ear out etc
Unreasonable totally

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread