To think about emigrating to the USA? 🇺🇸

[Rainbow1234]

I have posted in living overseas but don’t get much of a response so thought I would look for some opinions here.

So my dh is originally from Texas but moved to London 15 years ago when he was 16. We have 2 dc aged 4 and 7 (both have dual nationality). He assured me when we got married that he wasn’t bothered about ever moving back to the US and that he preferred England. Now he has been offered a really good job in California where his family live and wants me to think about us all moving out there but I’m so unsure, the job pays almost double what he is earning here but the area we would need to live in is more expensive than where we are now so financially we would be about the same. I was born and brought up in London, my mum dad and sister all live within 30 minutes of me and they are the only family I have in the whole world and I would feel so guilty about leaving them especially my mum, she’s 70 this year and in very good health (works full time) but I know she won’t be around forever but I can’t help thinking life could be better for my kids out there, anyone?

There seems to be a big element of downplaying a very real issue because you personally are alright.

I really don't think this is what is happening in this thread. The discussion of health care in the US was promoted by one of those all or nothing generalizations about healthcare in the US.

There seems to be a big element of downplaying a very real issue because you personally are alright. It's ridiculous to attest that everyone is just fine health care wise in America!

The OP asked about her specific circumstances. There isn't any point in telling her she will be without healthcare and bankrupt if she moves to the US because the chances of that are tiny. her husband is being offered a job that will have excellent health care coverage.

Also there is an overstatement of the lack of health care coverage in the US. Not one of us who lives here isn't saying it is a problem/issue - it is. But obamacare is still notionally in force - and has been for a number of years. Many states do way better than obamacare requirements. There is medicare, medicaid, the veteran health system and obligatory emergency cover. It isn't as black and white as many people seem to think. And even if it were, the OP will have health insurance.

I wouldn't move to the US even if I had a good job/health insurance etc. Horrible country.

I'm grateful to those posting positive experiences of living in the US. While I don't regret moving to the UK, it does bother me to see people so down on the US without having a full picture of the culture.

Personally I can be happy in either country, as I've found advantages and disadvantages to each. I think it largely depends on what you value, as well as what your location and salary would be in each country.

We moved to the mid west a few years ago. Live in affluent suburbs of a big city. If you have comprehensive health care, you shouldn’t have a problem. More expensive than the U.K. but salaries are higher as well. Cost of good food and housing is fairly high but other costs are low.
I personally prefer the U.K and miss it terribly. But that”s because I’m not Caucasian. This is a very segregated country where everyone keeps to their own race/ community unless you’re living in the centre of a big city. Guns are definitely an issue. Pretending they are not is being silly.

I love it here! I’m in the Midwest and the people, the culture, the education, the opportunities for sports, art, outdoor pursuits...it seems endless.

I wouldn't move from here for all the money in the world.

We ski in the winter, sail in the Summer. We have a lot of land to grow our own food and raise animals.

Ds will go in to a school where he'll have 6-10 in a class. He will have his college/uni fees almost 100% paid for by scholarships.

There is far low crime where I live. People leave their doors open and keys in their ignitions. Not all of America is a raging gun battle.

My standard of life here compared to the UK is still shocking me 6 years on.

“ wouldn't move to the US even if I had a good job/health insurance etc. Horrible country.”

How on earth can you judge like that unless you have lived in each part of that country. Personally I think it is an amazing place. Breathtaking scenery, a fantastic zest for life in so many cities. I would move there in a heartbeat.

The OP asked about her specific circumstances. There isn't any point in telling her she will be without healthcare and bankrupt if she moves to the US because the chances of that are tiny. her husband is being offered a job that will have excellent health care coverage

The point being responded was not about the OP, it was the ridiculous statement that everyone is just fine and totally covered for everything healthwise. Not remotely true.

Also there is an overstatement of the lack of health care coverage in the US

a overstatement? 28 million completely uninsured (down from 44 million due to obamacare and starting to creep back up again), and many many more millions underinsured and unable to pay medical costs.

Yes the OP will have health insurance, but thats not the only point. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be interested in living in a bubble with money and healthcare while knowing lots of people around me have neither. Have a look at the contract staff in Facbook and Google living in garages and trucks with their children because they can't afford basic rent on two wages of the same companies that are paying massive amounts to their tech staff and driving rents up an up and up (spoiler, they get no health benefits either).

Some of us don't have an I'm alright Jack attitude to where we live.

Sideways you'll get no argument from me on the under/uninsured horror.

Conversely though, I just sold my house to a very young couple with a baby, literally they work for FB & Google, and the fact they could afford the staggering price at that age is gobsmacking. Most of those who were looking at it were in that age range. It took me a whole lifetime of work to be able to afford it, and I am paid well. This is the reality. Silly money v. can't afford to live.

Guns
Trump
Healthcare

I dont think the health insurance point is irrelevant actually, because OP should also consider what she'll do if they split, given that he'd be able to prevent her from taking the kids home. She'd then be responsible for her own health insurance.

I mentioned a pal upthread who'd split with US spouse and couldn't leave because their child can't be removed. He had health insurance when he moved over, through his wife's job. He doesn't now.

You can live in a country and dislike many things about it and work to fix them from the inside. That's my choice.

For example, my Republican senator was one of the senators who prevented Trump from overturning the ACA. I'm going to keep on voting for her, fundraising for her, lobbying her on issues that she's wavering on, and encouraging other people to vote for her.

I would welcome more British people moving to the US and bringing their 'liberal European' values that so many Americans hate.

I quite enjoy telling right-wing gun-toting immigrant-haters that not only am I here, but they can't throw me out, and I have a vote and I'm raising voters.

You can live in a country and dislike many things about it and work to fix them from the inside. That's my choice

Of course you can. You can also choose that the things you dislike about a country are not things you are willing or able to fix from the inside. That's a valid choice.

@YouCantGetHereFromThere Collins? She's one of the better ones I suppose.

Collins? She's one of the better ones I suppose.

Yes, I'd rather have a Democrat or Independent, but she's not going anywhere so we work with what we have...

True. She's definitely standing up to them that's for sure. Could be worse anyway, we could have an ignorant fuckhead for a governer. Oh....

Shesalady's son "will have his college/uni fees almost 100% paid for by scholarships"

How???

Probably assuming that their dc are child geniuses or sports stars - hardly realistic when then are still in elementary!

@lljkk well that's actually just the luck of where we live. Very remote school with a tiny year round population but huge and very wealthy summer population. Who all pay a shite ton of taxes and donate big scholarships.

We're also lucky to have neighbours who will contribute. I don't know how you'd describe it really. People my DH's family have worked for for years and help us out. It's definitely an odd set up but I'm not complaining!

I had some bad news concerning a close relatives health a couple of years ago and my neighbour (who I've only met twice!) paid for my airfare back to the UK the next day.

I know people have a bad view of the States but I'm often moved to tears at the attitudes most of the people I known have here. They literally would do anything for anyone.

@Creambun2

I wouldn't go personally. I'm too close to my family. Could he not get a better job here?

lljkk there are lots of scholarships available of all different types here in the usa. There are merit and athletic ones, but also needs based and just weird random stuff. There is tons of accessibility to lots of things for a diverse population. No one is laughing at a working class child who aspires to go to university (the way my sdd got laughed at by her primary school teacher when her dad said she was going to go to uni.....guess where she is now).
creambun2 it may not be the case in every family, but my two dc's were identified as child geniuses in elementary which was not much of a surprise as I have a family full of geniuses. On the other hand, I would have been very very surprised if they had been identified as potential sports stars...ds (and most of the other geniuses in the family) can't walk across a room without getting injured or breaking something while DD seems to think that wearing high heels preempts her from anything sports related.

I wouldn't leave my family, personally.