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AIBU?

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Original poster

For DH to react like this ?

60 replies

Tiredpom · 14/03/2018 20:30

DH is away with work, he is notoriously hard to get hold off when he is away. Goes off radar, which he knows upsets me. No reason for it, no remote location anything like that. Last night he was out with a mutual friend. We had be texting a bit through the day in a light hearted manner, oh will I get to speak to you tonight etc. As I hadn't heard from him. Got to midnight, still nothing - so asked was he still out. Got a curt yip response back. I replied, 'oh lol ! That's late for a school night ?!?!' He then flew off the handle, 'jeez .... I'll remember that when you are out with work next time' and sent me a picture of the hotel room. So I called him, to ask why he was being a dick ! And he was just ranting and raving. Accusing me of just calling to have a go, that it's ok for me to go out with work with a bunch of Coke heads etc. (once was at work function where there was Coke flying about, this was last year - I told him because I thought it was amusing) Bringing up a time I had too much to drink at a party last year ...... He was just ranting and being aggressive, denying he was pissed and generally not wanting to tell me where he'd been. So I said right I've had enough, I'll look forward to an apology in the morning and hung up. Woken up this morning, radio silence. Even tho. His working day has started. I'm upset, so I sent him a text ...... 'hey, not sure what last night was all about. But I'm upset - can you call?' Again nothing ..... tempted to text my friend and ask what time her other half rolled in (who he was out with) as something's not adding up. Is he being a dick or AIBU for wanting to know my husband got home safe ?

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 14/03/2018 20:32

My first reaction is that he's got something major to hide. Cannot think of another rational explanation.

Thunderblunder · 14/03/2018 20:35

Am I right in thinking from your previous thread tgat he takes his wedding ring off when he goes away?

Aquamarine1029 · 14/03/2018 20:35

My gut says his ridiculousness stems from guilt. His reaction was totally unreasonable.

Penfold007 · 14/03/2018 20:35

You touched a nerve, he's hiding something.

sadiesnakes · 14/03/2018 20:36

Yeah ime deflecting and defensiveness is not a good sign.

Liara · 14/03/2018 20:39

Well, he may be hiding something, but you do sound like a bit of a nag.

If when I was away with work my dh had kept attention seeking in the way you did I would have been very annoyed. I was never doing anything untoward, just would have hated the nagging.

letsdolunch321 · 14/03/2018 20:40

He needs a chill pill, why the aggressive behaviour on his behalf !!!

Bringing up the past is pointless, I would ignore him till he is back.

BarbarianMum · 14/03/2018 20:44

Either he's hiding something or else he finds you controlling and is sick of it. Either way, nothing good.

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 14/03/2018 20:47

You do sound quite annoying OP but agree his reaction was OTT. Maybe he’s just had enough of it and snapped.

Lillylollylandy · 14/03/2018 20:49

How was OP attention seeking by asking her husband if he was going to phone her?!

Alienspaceship · 14/03/2018 20:50

...and you still don’t know what exactly he was doing/does on these occasions...

Tink2007 · 14/03/2018 20:51

Are you the same poster who has an OH regularly away and he took his wedding ring off?

flipperflop · 14/03/2018 20:52

Looks like he is hiding something...I would speak to your friend..

SomeKnobend · 14/03/2018 20:52

I wouldn't trust him as far as could throw him. Was it you who had the dh who hid his wedding ring when he went away, was always vague about when and where he was going so you never know where he is, can't get hold of him, and was there a second hidden phone or something? Just LTB.

ladymariner · 14/03/2018 20:54

Your dh came across as a total arse on your last thread about him, he's doing the same on this, how many more times are you going to let him treat you like shit and start a thread about it....you had some really good advice, perhaps you should start acting on it!

AgentProvocateur · 14/03/2018 20:55

I would be pissed off if my DH was messaging me and asking if I was still out, and then commenting negatively if I was!

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 14/03/2018 20:57

I feel like I’ve read this post before?

Truthstar · 14/03/2018 20:58

Is this about him that disappears and takes the wedding ring off? You found the ring at home?

If so ... c'mon now don't be at that craic ffs

Eltonjohnssyrup · 14/03/2018 21:01

If you’re not the poster where he takes the wedding ring off, I can sort of see where he is coming from.

By remote location do you mean expecting him to let you track his location by phone? And it upsets you he won’t do that? There wasn’t really any need for you to continue to message him or to comment on what time he was out until. And messaging your friend to check up on what time he got back is really crossing a line. Especially as you go out on your own and socialise without him.

If he hasn’t given you cause to doubt him before, wanting to remote track him, badgering him while he’s out and calling friends to check up from him really is not on. If a woman posted her partner had done this he would be called controlling...

Jenasaurus · 14/03/2018 21:04

Did you ask him why he removed his wedding ring? I didn't see your last thread but that's a bit odd and with this nasty reaction from him I think you are right to wonder what he has to hide.

ToffeeUp · 14/03/2018 21:09

I was on your other thread, all back to 'normal' then. He is sending you 'proof' of where he is but he is still uncontactable.

Did you ask him about the disappearing condom wrapper?

But yes text your friend.

Tistheseason17 · 14/03/2018 21:09

His reaction is not normal.
My hubby and I always chat before bed when he's away as well as texting and speaking during the day. That's what normal loving couples do (even if not a often as us 😁) . No nagging required.

honeyroar · 14/03/2018 21:15

It doesn't make sense. He replies yip when you ask if he's still out then sends a photo of the hotel room to prove he's not out...

Allthewaves · 14/03/2018 21:17

My husband works away a lot and.tbh some days we speak and some we dont.

You sent a passive agressive 'oh are we going to speak tonight' then you checked up on him at midnight and treated him like a child about being late for school night.

Tbh I would be pee'd off esp if it's something u do often when he's away.

He prob hasn't answered you today because he annoyed still.

WhingyNinja · 14/03/2018 21:19

Same, tistheseason.

His quick temper and defensiveness would be ringing alarm bells for me, OP.

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