AIBU - DD birthday gift - friend thinks U

[hubbabubbanightmare]

I buy a couple of specific skin products from a brand that sometimes does a 'free gift', so I buy then and usually give the 'gift' (a make up bag with a few travel sizes and bits in it) to DD as an extra birthday or Xmas pressie - or just a little treat if wrong time of year).

A close friend was staying last year on DD's birthday and commented that I shouldn't give something that was free as a present. DD knows they come with my products but really likes them due to the brand, fancy packaging etc - I ignored the comments.

The next few times I saw the friend she brought it up again - making crass 'jokes' when I've given her DC the freebie biscuit that came with my coffee etc which I've ignored.

It's DD's birthday in a few weeks and she we were planning on meeting up on Saturday. She's sent me a text today saying:

"look what I got DD! (with a pic of a make up compact) No more sloppy seconds for her haha!"

DD will like the compact and it's very generous but I don't understand the constant digging about what was a small add on gift over a year ago. I also found the misogynistic comment repulsive even thou we do both swear/use bad language etc, it seems a really provocative and uncalled text. Can anyone explain? I have asked directly what the issue is but she won't answer and then brings it up again.

AIBU to give DD something that I am given free, that she loves and is really excited about?

Your friend seems weird

Surely it's still a gift to her?? I think it's perfectly fine.

Tell her to stop her unwanted and uneccessary comments. She's being a dick.

It's not free, you had to spend plenty of money to get it!

Your friend is being a bit of a knob. Those travel miniatures are adorable not that I sometimes buy the fancy cream just so I can get the freebie pouch, no!

Yanbu. Your friend sounds bonkers.

What a bitch! (Her not you, obviously.)

Of course it's fine!!! As part of DD's most recent birthday, we gave her a power bank we'd got for signing up to a newsletter! It didn't mean she got any less presents than she would have anyway so it was a "bonus" gift. Still didn't tell her it was free though!!!

Your "friend" has a very odd sense of humour!!!

thanks

We've been friends for 20 years and she's never been odd like this before. Maybe a personal hang up if she feels she's been regifted a freebie at some point but DD wants these things and I time the purchase to get them for her so they are free but I still go to trouble to get them. I don't know why I'm being defensive!

At this point, I would honestly just text back something like,

"That's lovely, but I'm finding your fixation on DD's gifts from me a bit straining on our friendship. You've made your opinion clear, can we put it to bed now?"

At the end of the day, she's welcome to disapprove, but repeatedly calling you out as if she's the present police smacks of a lack of boundaries and basic civility.

WTF?

I once collected all the freebies and samples for a year, added some other bits and made an advent calendar for my niece. She LOVED it.

Your friend is weird. It smacks of jealously but I ca't think why? Does she not have anyone to pass cute little gifts to? Does she want the freebies for herself?

She is being daft. DD likes it! It's all new and fresh not like it's damaged or half-full!

Guessing there may be something in her family history you don't know about - hand-me-downs she disliked, inferior gifts compared to what her siblings got?? - that makes her want to defend DD somehow.

Maybe she should write to the Daily Fail about how people SELL these freebies on eBay 😱 I love my bonus gifts and give my daughters bits and bobs from them (they are starting to show an interest in make up but young yet) as I don't use the make up. They love the bags too and we use them for hair bobbles and brush, inhalers, nail polish. All sorts.

She sounds horrible. Tell her to do one. You don't need to listen to her stupid opinions.

You’re feeling defensive because your so-called friend has chipped away so much that you’re now second guessing yourself.
You’ve done nothing wrong.

Your friend is an idiot, and very rude to make comments like this.

Your friend is being an ass. Plus she's probably jealous of the relationship you have with your DD.

Just ignore her.

Thanks, I thought it was weird so glad I am not a tight arse I was starting to feel like.

My DSis is twelve years older than me and when she was a super chic young woman in London would give me these freebies which I absolutely adored!
Your friend sounds strange. thecatsthecats text sounds spot on.

People can be so weird. It's such a strange thing to fixate on. Your daughter is pleased with the gifts. It's really none of your friend's business.

I think thecats wrote a good response.

MIL gave me something similar from L'occitane as an add on present for Christmas and I was absolutely chuffed with it! It's none of your friends business and they sound horrible

My aunt gave me a little L'occitane bag too. She just told me she had got it free and asked if I would like it. I thought it was lovely that she had thought of me :)

I don't think she's jealous of OP's relationship with her daughter; she's jealous that she doesn’t get the freebies!

Also very ungrateful about the biscuit. Me and my sister used to love those free biscuits you get with coffees. It was kind of you to give it to her child and she's not teaching them very good manners to be rude about it!

My mum will still occasionally give me and my sister freebies like this as extra presents. I don't see the problem with it at all.
I have also done the same for my nieces once at Christmas time, along with their main present and a selection box.

I bet she would have something to say if you kept the gift for yourself!

Ask her why she's so bothered about it? Maybe she thinks it's some sort of "in" joke between you both