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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - DD birthday gift - friend thinks U

97 replies

hubbabubbanightmare · 14/03/2018 15:57

I buy a couple of specific skin products from a brand that sometimes does a 'free gift', so I buy then and usually give the 'gift' (a make up bag with a few travel sizes and bits in it) to DD as an extra birthday or Xmas pressie - or just a little treat if wrong time of year).

A close friend was staying last year on DD's birthday and commented that I shouldn't give something that was free as a present. DD knows they come with my products but really likes them due to the brand, fancy packaging etc - I ignored the comments.

The next few times I saw the friend she brought it up again - making crass 'jokes' when I've given her DC the freebie biscuit that came with my coffee etc which I've ignored.

It's DD's birthday in a few weeks and she we were planning on meeting up on Saturday. She's sent me a text today saying:

"look what I got DD! (with a pic of a make up compact) No more sloppy seconds for her haha!"

DD will like the compact and it's very generous but I don't understand the constant digging about what was a small add on gift over a year ago. I also found the misogynistic comment repulsive even thou we do both swear/use bad language etc, it seems a really provocative and uncalled text. Can anyone explain? I have asked directly what the issue is but she won't answer and then brings it up again.

AIBU to give DD something that I am given free, that she loves and is really excited about?

OP posts:
Blinkyblink · 14/03/2018 17:24

AIBU to give DD something that I am given free, that she loves and is really excited about?

Yes OP YABVU Hmm

ScreamingLevitation · 14/03/2018 17:25

Is it a high end brand your friend can't afford?

My mum used to give me Dior freebies. I was one happy teenager!

Blackteadrinker77 · 14/03/2018 17:29

My SIL gave me a brand new very expensive laptop that he got free from work for hitting a target.

I like my sloppy seconds present and think it was a lovely thought to gift it to me.

Your friend is weird in my opinion.

PeapodBurgundy · 14/03/2018 17:31

I went on purpose trip to Superdrug when I'd already been in Boots to purchase some face masks for DM and DSis for Christmas because Superdrug had an offer on to get a free toilet bag of Carmex products with the masks. Surely it's just making use of an offer to give an extra something? We're on a budget as I'm a SAHM, and I won't go into debt for Christmas, so I often do things like this to make the budget go further. It was products I know that both like and use, so I don't see the issue.

Even if it wasn't an extra gift, and that was what you gave her, she would still have received a gift would she not? None of her beeswax, carry on as you were 🙂

Original poster
hubbabubbanightmare · 14/03/2018 17:47

I have text her and asked what the issue is, in a friendly way... we shall see.

OP posts:
Original poster
hubbabubbanightmare · 14/03/2018 17:50

Yes, it is a high end brand but she uses much more expensive cosmetics than I do in general. She introduced me to them!

OP posts:
YellowMakesMeSmile · 14/03/2018 17:54

I sort of see where's she's coming from. If an item comes free with purchase and I dont like it or won't use it I would offer to somebody who could but wouldn't give them as a present as it would feel cheap.

I can see why she bought the gift she did as I would have done the same but just not made comment as to why.

Original poster
hubbabubbanightmare · 14/03/2018 17:54

I have the answer, although why she didn't just say this in the first place I have no idea.

Apparently the samples are not a freebie to be enjoyed and given away, they are an expensive marketing tool distributed by brands to their valued customers in order to introduce them to new products. It is rude and disrespectful to give them to a 12 year old and if people do this they brands will stop giving them out and REAL customers will miss out and suffer.

Okay then. Grin She's clearly insane.

OP posts:
Original poster
hubbabubbanightmare · 14/03/2018 17:55

Suffer Grin. Man oh man, what a statement. SUFFER people, she will SUFFER!

OP posts:
MeanTangerine · 14/03/2018 17:57

She is jealous of your DD... ShockHmmConfusedGrin

CormoranStrike · 14/03/2018 17:57

What the actual???

Grin
WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 14/03/2018 17:58

What on Earth?! Hmm the company will have no idea you gave them to your daughter. And anyway she might grow up to be a loyal customer as she's enjoyed the freebies so much!

Sounds like a weird excuse that she's just made up because she realises her behaviour is rude.

Tralalee · 14/03/2018 17:59

Lolol

starryeyed19 · 14/03/2018 18:00

She sounds jealous tbh

starryeyed19 · 14/03/2018 18:03

I posted that before I RTFT. She bloody is jealous. She wants the freebies.

PeapodBurgundy · 14/03/2018 18:08

Yep, she's batshit!

Ellendegeneres · 14/03/2018 18:15

Wait so if your mate was buying chocolates for several members of her family for example and they happened to be buy one get one free- she’d still buy the six separate boxes then keep six free ones for herself?? No. Same difference- only what you’re giving your dd is actually ‘wow Mum thank you!’ Worthy and her chocolates go on the pile with the other boxes everyone gets at Christmas.

Fuck, she must be a delight!

handslikecowstits · 14/03/2018 18:17

I've heard it all now.

Is she on here?

Ellendegeneres · 14/03/2018 18:17

Sorry I ought to have rtft.

How funny. She’s pathetic. I’d be uninviting her from dds birthday and saying I don’t want to spend my dds special day with someone who can be so spiteful to me over their jealousy

Rewn7 · 14/03/2018 18:17

A gift does not have to be something bought from a shop. It can be something you already have that you value, yet would gladly part with because you know the person receiving it will get joy from it. (I’m sure you value the free product and would use it yourself if you weren’t passing it on).

Your DD clearly gets joy from these gifts. You are giving her something you own. It does not matter where it comes from. You could have made something, found something, or any other method. The fact that it makes your DD happy is all that matters and I’d be tempted to tell your friend she’s being odd.

Rewn7 · 14/03/2018 18:24

And tell your ‘friend’ that unless she tells the company how the fuck would they now where their free stuff goes.

FFS she’s very odd!

Foslady · 14/03/2018 18:26

Oh God she’d flip out at me and my family. Dsis wrapped up PG Tips monkeys one year - ended up being the best present laugh wise of the year!

Original poster
hubbabubbanightmare · 14/03/2018 18:30

I think it's funny tbh. Quite a bonkers stand point to take and she's sticking with it. I replied

"aww love, I don't want you to suffer ;) haha"

and she's come back with a rant about how she used to work in a high end department store when she was student they used to despise the 'sample whores' who lurked around begging for freebies when it was obvious they couldn't afford the products

Crazy

OP posts:
Gide · 14/03/2018 18:31

How very odd. You have the right to give your dd whatever you like. Your friend is on glue.

Original poster
hubbabubbanightmare · 14/03/2018 18:31

I have replied saying I am introducing DD to the brand, like she introduced me, and surely they should be grateful - it's free advertising for them Grin

OP posts:
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