AIBU - DD birthday gift - friend thinks U

[hubbabubbanightmare]

I buy a couple of specific skin products from a brand that sometimes does a 'free gift', so I buy then and usually give the 'gift' (a make up bag with a few travel sizes and bits in it) to DD as an extra birthday or Xmas pressie - or just a little treat if wrong time of year).

A close friend was staying last year on DD's birthday and commented that I shouldn't give something that was free as a present. DD knows they come with my products but really likes them due to the brand, fancy packaging etc - I ignored the comments.

The next few times I saw the friend she brought it up again - making crass 'jokes' when I've given her DC the freebie biscuit that came with my coffee etc which I've ignored.

It's DD's birthday in a few weeks and she we were planning on meeting up on Saturday. She's sent me a text today saying:

"look what I got DD! (with a pic of a make up compact) No more sloppy seconds for her haha!"

DD will like the compact and it's very generous but I don't understand the constant digging about what was a small add on gift over a year ago. I also found the misogynistic comment repulsive even thou we do both swear/use bad language etc, it seems a really provocative and uncalled text. Can anyone explain? I have asked directly what the issue is but she won't answer and then brings it up again.

AIBU to give DD something that I am given free, that she loves and is really excited about?

YANBU

She's jealous somewhere down the line

Maybe because it's a sweet thing to do? Did she get on with her own mum?

She's being really weird. She probably thinks it's a hilarious in-joke, though.
The use of 'soppy seconds' is so out of context, I would have to mention it, annoying!

Your friend is bang out of order and I'd send her a text telling her it's none of her business. I think she's jealous because she wants the free gifts for herself.

Or maybe she's not the kind of person who would give a free gift away to anyone, you are and that makes her feel inadequate somehow

They’re not sloppy seconds - you organise your purchasing to get her adorable firsts she will love. Tell your friend enough already with the snide remarks, in fact if she doesn’t drop it she might be the one getting dropped!

It is none of her business, so stop telling her about them.

What difference does it make how much something costs? Either it is something they will like or it isn't, cost isn't the important factor.

My mum did this with me. If I'm honest if I get a present that is good quality and was dirt cheap (or free) I'm over the moon. Love a good bargain!
My mums friend also did this with a No.7 free set when I was younger and it was great! Can't complain.
YANBU

Your mate's a twat.

My sister works at a spa and some the freebies I get from her are phenomenal. Clarins, Decleor, etc. Lovely lovely things. I LIKE that they are free

I do this with my dd and someone once made a similar comment ..dd was within hearing and said no mum had to buy the products so I could have this so she’s the one with the free stuff (the thing she got you couldn’t buy independently). Definitely the best way to think of it.

Friend is a nob. I got a free gift with my Clinique purchase on Saturday, my 7 year old was with me and chose what free gifts to put in the bag...she takes her tinted lip balm to school in her book bag. Judge away world 😀

I don't really talk about presents etc unless asked - it was just that she was there last year in the morning and this year we're visiting the city she works in for DD's birthday lunch so I asked her to join us.

She is very funny but this isn't a joke, definitely a 'thing'. We haven't exchanged gift for years (agreed to stop when we had DC) so I don't think it's jealousy. I'm going to woman-up and ask WTF?

Weirdo! My mum gives me those types of freebies even now. I love them! I never buy make up bags, I still use some of the ones she gave me for travel years later. They're very handy!

She wouldn't be able to stand the Christmas bargain threads on here!

I'm very glad so many of you love to give/receive these freebies.

Of course not

I often buy my family second hand things for Xmas. And we are not broke by any stretch.
Especially books and DVDs - then I take great pleasure in telling them I only paid 20p etc for them! Everyone enjoys them even more and it means we can have more stuff! No one minds if a film is rubbish if it cost 50p

I am sure your DD would be delighted with the gift whether it was free or not. Rather odd of your friend to keep bringing it up. It wouldn’t be the sort of behaviour I would expect from someone I considered to be a longstanding friend, it would certainly be something that I would need to discuss if I wanted the friendship to continue.

My cousin has a ridiculously glamorous job where Dshe is bribedD freebies are often given to her. It's amazing and my gifts are often made up of these. It helps that we are opposite skin tones/types. I still get excited in anticipation!

At Christmas I buy makeup etc especially BECAUSE of the free gifts/ buy one get one free offers then dish out the freebies to the kids. They're happy as Larry about it! She's weird.

It's not a free gift though is it? You can't get it unless you spend money buying the 2 products (or whatever the deal is) to get it . Your mate is a twat really.

I take it that your friend would never get 3 for 2 from Boots at Christmas? Or if she does it hope she keeps the 3rd thing for herself?

She's the odd one here, not you!

Basically anything marginally interesting in November/December, my mum buys and it gets wrapped up as a present.

I've had mulled wine toilet paper; lap sang tea bags; tampons with Xmas patterns on the box. Every year I get a bottle of Christmas-scented Zoflora.

These aren't joke or "add-on" presents, these are wrapped up and given equal weighting with everything else. Start doing this, your mate's head with implode

Could you just ask her once and for all "What exactly is it that bothers you about this gift?"

There's something behind it that she might not even be clear on herself, but I've found that asking a direct question either gets you and answer or puts a stop to the nonsense.

She can either give you an answer or not, but once you've asked and she's replied you can follow it up with "You've made comments more than once to show you disapprove but DD likes these gifts and I'd prefer it if you wouldn't comment on it any more."

I don't mind a freebie gift. My parents ran a business when I was younger that meant they got a lot of free gifts and they would often use some of the suitable ones as extras at Christmas or birthdays. Off the top of my head now I can remember getting records and tapes (yes, I'm old), a clock radio that I was over the moon with because it was just like the one in an 80's Brat Pack film, bags and purses, a watch, t-shirts, scarves, umbrellas, a hairdryer, nothing massive or overly exciting now, but at the time I loved it.

Some people directly link the "value" of something with its price. They would rather have the hideous chunky ring simply because it costs twice as much.

I've had dates before look worried and "confess" they have paid for dinner using a 2-4-1 voucher or similar - I was thrilled! Give me a thrifty buyer every time!