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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have lost interest in working after 20 years?!?

161 replies

brownmouse · 13/03/2018 22:09

I've worked for 20+ years. Another 25 to go...!

I'm bored with it! I'n disappointed in my career and just not really INTERESTED in it anymore. And I didn't even VAGUELY achieve what I hadn't hoped. But I also don't want to retrain.

Nothing interests me work wise. I'm sure in my 20s and 30s I was full of passion and wanting to ACHIEVE SHIT. Now I just want to stay at home and vacuum and drink tea and read books and hum to
myself.

I have another 25 years left to work.... I can't work part-time.

AIBU?!? Does anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
Omgnamechange · 14/03/2018 15:34

Speakout- your set up sounds ideal to me!
My DH works full time and wants to die on the job (builder)! He also claims if he / we won the lottery he would still pop off to work everyday.

Omgnamechange · 14/03/2018 15:34

I wouldn’t...

Oblomov18 · 14/03/2018 15:39

I enjoy my job a lot. I do accounts, 3 days a week. This job I've had for 7 years and it's the best job I've ever had, and I don't want it to ever end. I can't bear the idea of working for anyone else/anywhere else.

nickEcave · 14/03/2018 15:42

Those posters who really enjoy their work - I'd love to know what you all do! I know that I am incredibly lucky as I get to work part-time (currently 24hrs a week) in an admin role for a university. I work in student support so feel that my work is valid, my pay and conditions are extremely good and my team are nice enough. However, after 4 years of doing this I am so bored I could scream. Before having children I worked full time and kept boredom at bay by changing jobs and sectors every few years - I've worked in universities, local government and the public sector. Now with two DCs I feel very tied to the flexibility and hours of my current job and there seem to be far fewer quality part-time posts around then there were 5-10 years ago.

5foot5 · 14/03/2018 15:55

55 here and been working 34 years (less a few months of maternity leave)

Mostly work is OK and I don't get bored, sometimes it is quite fun even, but if I could afford not to do it then I would certainly stop.

Pension fund is not looking too shabby and mortgage paid off so hoping I only have to do another 5 years before I retire.

However, I am sorry OP but your plans for how to spend the day sound a bit boring to me. I will definitely want to find other stuff to fill my time - hobbies, volunteering or whatever

Beetlejizz · 14/03/2018 15:57

It's depressing seeing so many people who are simply bored by work or see pottering as an ambition to achieve at middle age.

Why, ilovesooty? I get you on the bored part, but why is the desire to potter depressing? It's no more or less valid than your enjoyment of your retraining and new career at 50. Different strokes.

Original poster
brownmouse · 14/03/2018 17:41

In all honesty I'm really surprised that my ambition and energy have disappeared now I'm in my forties. I do miss it. But it just isn't there. I get excited by quiet days and housework and gardening. I've become REALLY BORING. I am surprising myself. I sort of wish I still wanted to change the world.

Plateaued Ian a good way of describing it. I've enjoyed what I've achieved but I'm happy to settle with that now.

I know I can't! And my dh would love to get off the hamster wheel too. You do have to have quite a bit of asset behind you to do that though. I accept my lot!

There must be a word for this middle-aged job fatigue....

OP posts:
Mollieben · 14/03/2018 17:47

Yes - me too. Been working 24 years - another 20odd to go.... I work 30 hours and most certainly won't be increasing this at any point even when my kids have grown up.

miyajima2018 · 14/03/2018 17:51

I think you may be burned out which is entirely common and you are completely reasonable to feel this way. My advice from experience is that if you possibly can, find a way to make it work financially then make a change. Go travelling (even if just for a week or so) if you can find the money, or do a part-time course in something you are interested in, or set up your own business, apply for new jobs or re-train entirely. All of these sound impossible but if you can make it work then do, because you need something to inspire and re-energise you and ultimately that requires an investment in yourself. Good luck! x

ilovesooty · 14/03/2018 18:01

I suppose I imagined that people who wanted to give up work completely, potter and stay at home were a lot older than they appear to be from this thread.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 14/03/2018 18:05

Hmm. there are 168 hours in a week and most people only work 40 of them. Still leaves a lot of hours for more fun things...

On the other hand I agree I'd like a 3 day weekend -
1 day to relax (box set binges)
1 day to have fun (eg go out for the day)
1 day for errands and chores.

user764329056 · 14/03/2018 18:21

I am so lucky that in my fifties have just started a full time job that I enjoy, really interesting and time flies by and for one of the first times in my long career I don’t mind going to work, I can remember the days of soul destroying clock watching and The Fear every Sunday, sympathy to all who are fed up with their work, it feels relentless

ForalltheSaints · 14/03/2018 18:25

I am in my fifties and whilst most of the people are interesting to work with and talk with about non-work common interests, work is for me the means to fund the things I enjoy most and help the people I care about.

I know how long it is to retirement, and have some plans already.

LilyChantilly · 14/03/2018 18:36

What strikes me more than anything after reading through this thread is that IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE LIKE THIS! (Sorry for the shouty caps!) A few decades ago, with such rapid technological advancements, it was totally assumed that this would set us free to live meaningful, leisurely lives while the boring mundane jobs were done by robots. And this could indeed be possible if those with the wealth were willing to make it happen.

As the late, great Stephen Hawking said:
"If machines produce everything we need, the outcome will depend on how things are distributed. Everyone can enjoy a life of luxurious leisure if the machine-produced wealth is shared, or most people can end up miserably poor if the machine-owners successfully lobby against wealth redistribution. So far, the trend seems to be toward the second option, with technology driving ever-increasing inequality."

Sorry, I had intended to write a much more articulate post but I'm too tired after being at work all day!

CheshireDing · 14/03/2018 20:00

I thought it was just me !!!
I have been climbing the walls work wise for the last 12 months and couldn't work out whether I just needed some sun and a decent holiday (used to have 3 abroad holidays a year before DC now we have just had a couple of days in Wales) Grin
I have decided that we are taking some time out and moving the children to the Australian outback for a few years, DH likes his vocation and can work over there and we can rent the house out for good money towards the mortgage.
This is JUST about keeping me going for now.
I am 42 this year I thought I was having some kind of mid-life crisis (not helped by the fact we both work full time with 3 small children and I have never known what I wanted to do career wise).
I think I should have worked for Greenpeace or something, bit late now though Hmm

tortelliniforever · 14/03/2018 20:05

Now I just want to stay at home and vacuum and drink tea and read books and hum to
myself.

YES!!!Grin

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 14/03/2018 20:10

It’s all just so wearing isn’t it. I’m paid part-time but in a job where I end up doing many unpaid hours (marking, prep etc.) and it’s always there hanging over me. I’ve got an interview in a couple of weeks for a job that is very different though related and actually is full time. I’m sort of hoping if I get it that it will be mostly done in work time because of the type of role it is, and at least I will get paid full-time, but I’m worried it may be just as bad Sad if I won enough on the lottery for a similar standard of life to what we have now (nothing flash, rarely go abroad, boring car) I would give up work tomorrow...

RosaRosaRose · 14/03/2018 20:43

I haven't read the whole thread after my previous post.
Some.
But I got the job, a step up. (Again, no high flyer).
I feel invigorated.
All these years, bringing up two children, career and country changes, divorce, homeless, and destitute in a refuge for 6 months (only three years ago) and now 62
Having started again, again and again.... then I feel proud to be still working.
Still pushing.
Still moving forward.
Still going.

windygallows · 14/03/2018 22:02

Yup OP. I understand! I'm almost 50. My work is interesting but fuck is the workplace ever a hassle and office politics a drag. I think the workplace is very much a space created by patriarchy, made by men to benefit men. Sigh.

I'm fed up because I feel a bit lied to - I thought I'd get ahead by performing well and it turns out self promotion not competence is the name of the game. Then you have to deal with so many men in positions of power who got there through self promotion and it is frankly tiresome. It's not hard to see why the gloss has gone.

I think it's realistic to feel this way and probably every healthy. Being all bright eyed and exuberant about work at 50 can come across as naive.

gillybeanz · 14/03/2018 22:08

Apart from having to do some sort of work to live I've never seen the point tbh, I know a lot of people enjoy it and define themselves by what they do, but I don't get it.
The thought of working for 10 years is too much for me, let alone 30/40 years like some do.
I suppose it depends on whether you are a work to live type, just earning enough in life, or a live to work type who wants a lot more money, luxuries, and to define themselves in some career.

speakout · 14/03/2018 22:14

Being all bright eyed and exuberant about work at 50 can come across as naive

Unless you are self employed.

ilovesooty · 14/03/2018 22:17

I don't see that being passionate about what you do in later life is necessarily seen as naive. If you work in a field where you can make a real difference to people why the hell shouldn't you be enthusiastic about it whatever your age?

ilovesooty · 14/03/2018 22:23

And my workplace has a lot of women with families in senior positions.

NellMangel · 14/03/2018 22:26

Yup. 41 and so bored of it all. Pre kids I was first in the morning, last out at night, volunteered for anything, cared. Now I do 3 days a week, get it done but have no drive or enthusiasm for it.

I think I've got a bit complacent in the job, previously that would have been my cue to move on but now the part time hours, the understanding response to poorly child etc make it hard to leave. Plus I don't feel overly confident about coping with a new job :-/

sleep5 · 14/03/2018 22:27

I am bored beyond belief with my job. Have a decent salary but if I change jobs it'll drop like a heavy stone. Mortgage & mouths to feed. I never win euromillions or lotto sadly.