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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have lost interest in working after 20 years?!?

161 replies

brownmouse · 13/03/2018 22:09

I've worked for 20+ years. Another 25 to go...!

I'm bored with it! I'n disappointed in my career and just not really INTERESTED in it anymore. And I didn't even VAGUELY achieve what I hadn't hoped. But I also don't want to retrain.

Nothing interests me work wise. I'm sure in my 20s and 30s I was full of passion and wanting to ACHIEVE SHIT. Now I just want to stay at home and vacuum and drink tea and read books and hum to
myself.

I have another 25 years left to work.... I can't work part-time.

AIBU?!? Does anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
mummyretired · 14/03/2018 07:52

I stuck it out, got the pension and sometimes wonder if I could have done more with my working life - either achieved more of my potential, had more fun or been part of something I believed in. Keep yourself aware of what choices you may have.

BG2015 · 14/03/2018 07:54

Totally agree. I'm 49 and have been full time teaching for 22 years and for 5 years for Social Services before that.

Fed up of it all. I love my job but am so sick of the relentless on and on of it. I could retire tomorrow and do voluntary work and sit reading, go for walks and out for lunch.

Can't go p/t - not an option yet or ever really.

11 years to go as I plan to retire at 60.

tomhazard · 14/03/2018 07:54

Yanbu. I feel like you and I'm only 32!! So that's 34 years to go then ...

nursy1 · 14/03/2018 07:55

It’s not happening for me but hopefully my grandchildren will have a Universal Basic Income. What a liberation that would be. The ability to take time off for travel, child raising, study or a pet project you want to get up and running.
That’s of course if the oligarchs running the robots don’t keep all the profits for themselves!

Original poster
brownmouse · 14/03/2018 07:58

I think it's the massive mortgage that is the problem... being a slave to that. And another ten years of supporting teens at uni....

I've tried self-employment for about ten years. Didn't earn half of what I earn as an employee.

It's partly that I used to LOVE work in my thirties. Being middle-aged and I've lost all that passion and want to do pottering.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 14/03/2018 07:58

What took you so long..

OllyBJolly · 14/03/2018 08:00

I love my work- it truly brings me joy and I can't comprehend not working. I work with great people, learn new things every day, and Yes, there are some shitty tasks that have to be done but overall I can't think of a better way to spend my time. I enjoy holidays but usually itching to get back to work at some point.

I'm mid 50s now.

Minestheoneinthegreen · 14/03/2018 08:00

I don't mind work but I do feel a little anxious at the thought of doing it for another 30 years, having already done 20 odd. I rent and can't get a mortgage so I have to maintain this level of work and pay until I die, which I'm not entirely sure will be possible.

Original poster
brownmouse · 14/03/2018 08:00

Also I remember looking at "oldies" in the office, clearly bored with work and dragging people down. I used to think: "Shit or get off the pot!" But now I have turned into that dull middle aged person...

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 14/03/2018 08:04

I felt this way until I changed jobs and bosses.

picklemepopcorn · 14/03/2018 08:04

Look into extreme frugality.
Look into making money on the side.
With both, you can reduce and eventually pay off your mortgage, which gives you more options.

You can work and save like billyo for a few years now, then cut down your hours and have more freedom.

picklemepopcorn · 14/03/2018 08:05

Look into extreme frugality.
Look into making money on the side.
With both, you can reduce and eventually pay off your mortgage, which gives you more options.

You can work and save like billyo for a few years now, then cut down your hours and have more freedom.

AllisLost · 14/03/2018 08:05

Feel similarly although I had a second wind at 50. I trudge on because I am going broke. And self-employed is only good of the money is good and the demand outstrips supply - otherwise you are like dogs fighting for scraps.

If you want money and a house you have to work. My dad worked from 15 until he was 75 when he died. My Mum from 15 until 60. And people resent the fact that they owned a house. (Which now has to be sold to cover £1300 a week care costs)

picklemepopcorn · 14/03/2018 08:06

And if you do it twice, it'll happen even faster.

PoorYorick · 14/03/2018 08:06

Thing is, extreme frugality doesn't sound any more enjoyable than working. Having no money isn't exciting or noble, it's just relentlessly shite.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/03/2018 08:07

Quite a privileged position to be in really. Lots of people never have careers and hate their jobs from the beginning.
Find a rich man (only joking!).

LucheroTena · 14/03/2018 08:09

Me too. 25 years in NHS frontline. I done. It’s such relentless drudgery, we don’t even have time for the small chats and laughs we had when I started. Been working since 14 so that adds another 5 years. Wished I’d chosen another path, been a student for longer, gone into something with self employed status. I know of a few people who enjoy their jobs, they mostly work for themselves, creative, etc; or are in jobs they totally leave behind at the end of the day, have nice colleagues. Those of us unhappy seem to be public sector, public facing, ‘vocations’. I’m going to do everything to steer my DC away from this type of work.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/03/2018 08:10

"Having no money isn't exciting or noble, it's just relentlessly shite."

Yes, I didn't like that advice. Go and find food from bins and get a second job so you can retire earlier. Um...

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/03/2018 08:11

But wouldn't volunteering be just as rushed as work but without the pay? Not at all. As a volunteer you can always say "no". And generally the people you volunteer for are bending over backwards to shield you form the boring admin side of the work.

NinjagoNinja · 14/03/2018 08:13

Can you get yourself a rich husband OP?

Cassimin · 14/03/2018 08:13

I feel really blessed reading these posts.
I have had numerous different jobs, some of them rubbish but when I have had enough I have made it my mission to leave. Couldn't stand being miserable at work.
In my 50s now. A foster carer. It's hard but every day is different. Still do training so exercising my brain and also feel like I am doing something worthwhile.
Also do bits and bobs to supplement my income.
My friend left her career to be a cleaner. Picks and chooses her jobs.
Loves it.
My husband works full time and hates it. Hopefully going part time in the next couple of years.
Good money management means we can go on two holidays abroad each year.
No debt except for a small mortgage.
You can live on less money, happiness comes first.

gingercat02 · 14/03/2018 08:14

I'm nearly 49. I've done 27 years this summer. Same vocational career but different jobs. I'm just cruising now for the next 11 years. I'm going at 60 even though it will hit my pension. I actually like going to work as I work with lovely people but would rather not have to go everyday!

AnnabelleLecter · 14/03/2018 08:16

31 years at work, I'm 50 this year and can't wait to retire. I only took a year off having dc.
I like my job and it's p/time but still can't wait to leave. I'm starting to feel absolutely knackered some mornings and want to spend all my time doing what I want.
Bizarrely I've recently upped my hours but that's so DH can finish hopefully a bit earlier than planned because he's sick of all the pressure.
He draws a liveable pension in 4 years and in a years time we'll hit our savings target but if he gets offered redundancy before official retirement he's taking it. Payout should pay off the mortgage.

Original poster
brownmouse · 14/03/2018 08:20

The problem with frugality in middle age is that once you hit 40/50, your friends start getting worrying diagnoses and then a few die... And you think fuck! This could be our last chance to travel/go to a Michelin starred restaurant! So...

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 14/03/2018 08:23

I’ve worked for 30 years ( ex mat leave ) and I’m pretty much over it
We have our own business now and while I do occasionally do the odd project that I think will be interesting I’m not too bothered
Never get bored either but I do have a couple of voluntary positions that take up a little bit of time

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