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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

TA being attacked daily by Reception child - speak up or not?

79 replies

FizzyCherry · 13/03/2018 21:25

I have to be careful not to be too identifying but I am a Reception TA. We have a new child in the class who is already on his third school since September.
He is too young for any kind of formal assessment (apparently) but we have other children with similar statements so not sure about that.
Every single day he is punching, kicking and biting adults and children, completely unprompted. For example, he will be sitting looking at a book, unprompted he will throw it at another child and hit them or kick out. Or he kicks adults as they walk past.
He obviously has lots of problems so it’s not his fault per se, but we have been told to manage it by taking him out to the playground or by giving him extra stickers.
My concern is that if he injures an adult while alone with them, it won’t be properly dealt with.
Now the other children are starting to ask why they can’t get the same rewards.
Plus, the majority of time is spent with him, meaning the rest of the class miss out on the attention I am paid to give them.
He is 99% likely to be diagnosed with something on the spectrum in time, which then allows extra help to be put in place but in the meantime, would I BU to demand more is done?
To do so would involve essentially questioning the judgement of both the SENCO and the head, who are both far more qualified in these things than me. And, remember, he’s FOUR. And I’m an adult.
Just for context, this is a mainstream primary school where I’ve worked 12 years, not a special school where this is more expected.
I have had naughty children before but never on such a constant and excessive scale.
Or would you just let it go, put it down to an occupational hazard, knowing he will soon either be moving to another class or possibly excluded?
I am debating walking out if something isn’t done, but the head is V unsupportive and I think she will say that’s fine, we’ll get someone else.
Other adults have complained about the situation but he’s not in their class so it’s seen as “my” issue to deal with.
WWYD?
I love my job and the school, I don’t want to leave but if I threaten to, it will probably mean that I have to.

OP posts:
fleshmarketclose · 16/03/2018 07:59

Radio not harsh at all. OP supposedly works with reception aged children you would hope that she would have some basic understanding of support needed around times of transition because at 4 or 5 years old plenty of children need that support not just the ones with SN. Likewise at 4 or 5 years old knowing the theory of what makes good or bad behaviour doesn't mean that all children have the skills or the self restraint to put the theory into practice again not just children with SN the children without additional needs as well. I'm not saying OP should be well versed in this particular child's individual needs, I'm saying for a TA who works with reception aged children she should at least have some knowledge of the basics in supporting what are pretty common difficulties when you are 4 or 5 years old.

CoffeAndCream · 16/03/2018 08:14

Do you use visual timetables with him so that he knows what is happening during the day. It sounds as though he has massive issues with transitioning from one thing to another. Times can also help - sand timers are great, when the sand runs out (in 1.5,10 minute) it's time to move on.
There will be a pattern/triggers it's just a case of working it out.
Are the parents supportive of getting him assessed/do they have the same difficulties at home? It's very hard for a school if the parents are in denial of problems.
Have you had training in positive handling/de-escalation techniques? You really need to push for that. In my LA the staff at the special school will come out and help staff put the measures in place to try to deal with some of these issues (regardless of diagnosis) do you have anything like this where you are?
Keep reporting every incident - you have to!

RadioGaGoo · 16/03/2018 09:26

Flesh. Nothing to suggest that OP has no knowledge of 'the basics'. She's not talking about having issues with all the children in the class, just this particular child. She maybe having no issues at all transitioning the other children. It sounds like she is being left to deal with a child that needs more support than normal and has not received the correct training to deal with it. She's not failing the child herself, the school is. I'm not sure why there is the need to belittle her really, just because you obviously more informed than her on the subject.

fleshmarketclose · 16/03/2018 11:59

Radio,we shall have to agree to disagree I think. I tend to believe that there should be some basic knowledge and training for all TA's in supporting young children. I would include in that very simple and common strategies to enable children to cope with being in school and the challenges that they might face. Supporting children 4 or 5 years old I'd expect that to include knowledge of very common difficulties such as problems with transition and behavioural challenges and simple strategies that are easy to put in place to support them.
I don't disagree that OP is being failed by the school but worse than that this child and every other child in that class is being failed by the school because the TA doesn't appear to have the knowledge , training, resources and support needed to make a difference.

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