TA being attacked daily by Reception child - speak up or not?

[FizzyCherry]

I have to be careful not to be too identifying but I am a Reception TA. We have a new child in the class who is already on his third school since September.
He is too young for any kind of formal assessment (apparently) but we have other children with similar statements so not sure about that.
Every single day he is punching, kicking and biting adults and children, completely unprompted. For example, he will be sitting looking at a book, unprompted he will throw it at another child and hit them or kick out. Or he kicks adults as they walk past.
He obviously has lots of problems so it’s not his fault per se, but we have been told to manage it by taking him out to the playground or by giving him extra stickers.
My concern is that if he injures an adult while alone with them, it won’t be properly dealt with.
Now the other children are starting to ask why they can’t get the same rewards.
Plus, the majority of time is spent with him, meaning the rest of the class miss out on the attention I am paid to give them.
He is 99% likely to be diagnosed with something on the spectrum in time, which then allows extra help to be put in place but in the meantime, would I BU to demand more is done?
To do so would involve essentially questioning the judgement of both the SENCO and the head, who are both far more qualified in these things than me. And, remember, he’s FOUR. And I’m an adult.
Just for context, this is a mainstream primary school where I’ve worked 12 years, not a special school where this is more expected.
I have had naughty children before but never on such a constant and excessive scale.
Or would you just let it go, put it down to an occupational hazard, knowing he will soon either be moving to another class or possibly excluded?
I am debating walking out if something isn’t done, but the head is V unsupportive and I think she will say that’s fine, we’ll get someone else.
Other adults have complained about the situation but he’s not in their class so it’s seen as “my” issue to deal with.
WWYD?
I love my job and the school, I don’t want to leave but if I threaten to, it will probably mean that I have to.

Are you sure it’s an ASD assessment he’s being considered for because they can check for that when they are tiny. ADHD lots of areas wait until over 5

Are you in a union? If so, contact them for advice. The school has a duty of care to you as an employee.

I think by “parent power” the suggestion highlights if he is attacking and throwing things at the other children, surely sometimes he doesn’t miss and actually causes injury! Is this not being documented? I would expect to be told if my reception aged child was injured and a report should be filed too, if the injury is serious enough. Sounds like this is also being brushed under the carpet by teacher and head.

Sorry BathshebaKnickerStickers, I wasn't doubting the truthfulness of your statement at all. It was more disbelief you have to cope with that and curiosity as to why you're in that position. I understand now.

That sounds unbearable. Are you used to it? Do you consider a new job or take it in your stride? I take my hat off to you, I couldn't do it.

This is absolutely and utterly unacceptable. If you are being attacked and injured at work then you should contact your Trade Union and ask for a risk assessment. The school is clearly failing in its duties to keep staff and children safe. I just would refuse to work in the vicinity of this child unless it was guaranteed I would not be attacked by said child.

Needs I THINK it’s ASD, SENCO told my teacher, and I quote “It’s none of your business until he has something on paper.”

cansu I WANT to help him, and I’m not relying on him being pushed out, I’m saying that the situation is not sustainable long term. My prediction is a child will get hurt and a parent will kick off. And by definition, he’s very unlikely to be in my class next year.

And I get the rewards thing, but I do struggle with the fact that his are disproportionate to the others.
They get one sticker for being good all day, he gets three for not hitting anyone for five minutes. It’s hard to explain that to very small children.

Until you’ve been in this situation it’s hard to understand how difficult it is to get help for children who have these issues.

I could have written this post but we have a hugely supportive Head who has contacted agencies for help and support. There’s a chain that has to be worked through, agencies contacted and ‘experts’ brought in to ‘assess’—some are actually clueless— and concentrate on handling and de-escalating situations rather than the poor child who is struggling to cope with a busy but normal classroom setting.

Tbf to the SENCO, teachers and TAs are not qualified to diagnose SEND.

Have you had positive handling training?

#limonviola - i’m Currently off work but i’ll Be back on Monday.

It’s very very stressful and distressing - and even worse because HE IS 5 and so everyone - or almost everyone - thinks it’s just a little ridiculous.

As someone else above said - don’t hold your hopes out for a diagnosis and a move to a specialist School - mine had a diagnosis at 2 but the parents want (very much) him in mainstream

I know it costs money and I know its hard. The school don't sound like they are trying particularly hard though.

Fizzy my son was very similar in primary he had a statement and full time one to one support by an exceptional TA. It was my experience that children were very ready to accept different rules and different expectations when they were told about them in a way that was meaningful to them.
Ds had a diagnosis of extreme challenging behaviour alongside the autism so initially his TA sat next to him giving him stickers for anything such as having something in his hand that he didn't throw. He got pages and pages of stickers tbh but his peers knew that it was harder for him to do things that they could do easily. When ds used to rip up books and papers the TA taught him to screw up his paper and get rewarded for it because at least then they could see his work.
You need to forget what's fair and work out what works for him only when you have some sort of idea of how best to support him will you be able to address the unwanted behaviours tbh if my ds's experience is anything to go by.

Have you done an analysis of his behaviour using abc charts?
Have you asked for training in how to deescalate?
Have you asked the school to produce a risk assessment and plan?

Also did he attend nursery anywhere? If so what transition work was done? How did the nursery manage his behaviour? Please don't answer these on here, but these are questions you should be asking the teacher to get answers to.

My son was diagnosed with ASD at age 5. His behavior was way milder than this boy's but it was incredibly upsetting to me as a parent. I felt so worried for my son and his future and well as worried about what the teachers, other parents and children were thinking.

The boy is acting this way as he is feeling enormous pressure and stress. My son's occupational therapist got the school to intervene throughout the day by giving my son breaks before the stress built up and up and up and he lost control. Giving breaks as the stress is only starting to build up helps to reset the stress levels. If there is no intervention to stop the stress building up then the child reaches a point of no return. Its not enough to just wait until the child has lost control before giving him a break. My son gets movement breaks e.g to bounce on a mini-trampoline in the hall. This strategy has worked incredibly well for my son but every child is different.

It is absolutely hideous and you have my utmost sympathy. It is so unfair. It's not right for ANY of the children involved and it's not right for the adults either.

It is so easy to give you advice from this side, and I know how dreadfully demoralising working with these kids can be.

My suggestions

• Morning breakfast. Stagger his arrival into class and have toast time. After toast time explain very clearly what you are going to do in class. It might be going in and choosing one book and leaving again.

(you can gradually build up to inviting other children for toast time/ staying in class longer).

• Very clear visual timetable. Book, treat. If it's iPad time so be it.
• Try theraputty or a tangle to put in his hands and distract him.

If he is violent, evacuate the entire room and call SENCO/ SMT. Every. single. time.

There is a boy similar to this in my sons school. He used to be in the same class but thankfully they mixed them up before the start of year 5. But he would get so angry and aggressive he’d flip tables, throw chairs, damage other pupils personal possesions and punch so much so it got to the point where they had to evacuate the class at least once a week. My sons best friend is still in that class and says they still get evacuated from time to time. Worse bit was his mum just laughs about when told about incidents. And the school reward him by letting him hand out the special awards at every assembly and he gets out of the class at the front of the queue every day. He’s been with my son since nursery and once had a n incident where he punched my son in the head, I wav3d it off as ok it was a one off and the Mum didn’t apologise but simply said he’s got 4 brothers at home so he’s gotta protect himself. I’ve generally kept my distance since.
I think the parents need to be made more aware and you need to bring up your concerns as that level of destruction seems a bit high.

My DIL is dealing with a similar issue, she is also a TA with an off the scale problem child. She comes home with daily injuries such as bites to the point the kid has drawn blood and she has a full set of teeth marks somewhere on her (this has been regular) and bruises from being kicked. Her head is also not treating the situation seriously enough. The other children are being terrorised

sophisticated, he probably hands out the awards so that he doesn't attack the children who receive them. My own ds would have been so stressed by the assembly and the clapping that he would have gone for the reason for the clapping so the child getting the applause. He's most likely let out first because he can't stand in a queue without hurting someone.What you see as preferential treatment is more than likely measures put in place to keep other children safe.

My own ds would have been so stressed by the assembly and the clapping that he would have gone for the reason for the clapping so the child getting the applause.

"Gone for" my god that sounds awful for everyone involved.

Is he like this at home? What does his parents say? What do they do with him that works? We had a child at school in reception - as tall as an eight year old - he didn't want to work just play on the computer- it was a nightmare - the TA with him was black and blue and forms every day. It takes forever to get a diagnosis- he even threw chairs and smashed up the classroom. Parents were useless. Getting the parents onside will help. Hope it improves

OP,
The school has a duty of care to such a vulnerable child BUT they also have a duty of care to staff. Adults do not go to work to be hurt. It is fantastic that you appreciate this child's vulnerability but the school needs to do more.
They urgently need to get someone with some experience of behaviour in to do some observation and draw up an initial plan to manage behaviour with the adults working with him. It could be a senior experienced member of staff in the school as this is just the start.
Essentially they need to identify when and where child feels safe and calm (and which adults enable that) and when where it is that things go wrong (triggers etc) Then you make simple plans to manage the child.
That's a very brief outline of a complex process but essentially you need a plan with everyone agreeing on verbal responses, praise, distraction techniques and safety issues. It's the sitting down and planning rather than just reacting to things that can help.

None of this replaces the need for formal assessment / SEN intervention etc - it's just getting all the adults in the classroom on the same page. Hope that helps a bit?

Do his parents know the full extent of what is going on? Have you asked them for suggestions?

Viola yes it was awful but thankfully ds had an exceptional TA and so with her careful handling and her knowledge of ds's triggers it rarely got to the point where he hurt anybody.He wouldn't have been put in the position where his stress was so high that he would lash out tbh and she watched him constantly and saw the signs that he was getting overwhelmed and would withdraw him to his safe spot.

@fleshmarketclose
I don’t see it as preferential treatment but the kids have noticed and they get upset and annoyed. We walk some way home with several of DS friends and they are the ones who say it’s not fair, I can understand where they are coming from as it looks like he is getting rewarded for being bad. My DS is autistic and so is 2 other boys in his class. The head teacher had set up a special area where they could go if it all got too much. She has similar areas for other years too. But this boy had a major anger moment and trashed it on them, what happened the other boys automatically got blamed until it was pointed out by the deputy that it wasn’t them. Now the teacher won’t put any of the posters back up for fear he does it again. And this boy hasn’t been diagnosed because the Mum just things it’ funny and that he’s a just a typical boy.

I'm a 1:1 for a child with similar behaviour in a mainstream school.

Have you got a safe space you can use so he has somewhere to go when he's out of control? even if its into the corridor, where you can get away from the other children and step back a bit, preferably out of his reach.

If your head is refusing to give you any support, and your teacher is supportive, I would go and ask the head or the SENCO for advice about his behaviour every day, and every time he gets out of control send for them to help you, because they are massively more experienced and qualified. I had to do this at a previous school and the head changed their tune within a week.

What are the parents like? are they sort that will work with you and push for support?

I get hit and kicked most days, often several times, I've even had chairs thrown at me. It does hurt and some days I have a little cry at lunch or on my way home. I applied as a 1:1 so knew this was a risk (although hadn't realised it would be this frequent) I'm guessing from your post you are a class TA so didn't even agree to this.