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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked some people in this family to move in A & E

70 replies

Chocywockydodahhhhhh · 13/03/2018 01:11

Had to take DS to A and E tonight with a raging temp and rash, turns out he had Scarlett Fever
Was in childrens A & E which was busy, we went through to see the triarge nurse came back and no room to sit, a family of six had since come in and was sat on the seats with a teenaged girl who had her foot up, so seven in total.
I Soon clocked they were all family as one member was passing sweets between them (looked like a Mum, dad, sister, grandma, grandad, the girl called another women aunt and then what looked like could be a uncle)
At this point we are sat on the floor with DS crying his eyes out, within five minutes two other little toddlers came in both distressed and crying with parents who also had to sit on the floor
At this point I approached the family and asked in any of them were able to vacate seats so the toddlers could at least sit down on a parents knee. Was told no we have a right to sit here by the mother.
A nurse overheard this and told them that some would have to move and there is no way they can all go through to cubicals anyway. At this point the aunt and I think uncle got up and said they would leave and for the parents to call them with updates.
The mother starts crying that the girl wanted them all there (the girl who was on her I pad looked like she could not have cared who was there). The Mum goes on and on until the girl says “shut up Mum”.

The nurse says again room will have to be made for patients to sit and at that point the Mum grabs the wheelchair with her daughter in, tells the nurse she will complain and calls me an interfering bitch. The Mum marches pushing the wheelchair out with the family who follow behind.
An hour later we are called through and DS is seen and on the way out we see the girl is back in the waiting room with the dad and I think grandad.
All in all very bizarre, DH said I was right to say something but should I just have kept my mouth shut.

OP posts:
IamaBluebird · 13/03/2018 01:17

You had every right to ask for a seat. I do hope your ds is feeling better.

AntiHop · 13/03/2018 01:20

Yanbu. It's ridiculous to have so many family members there.

Puffycat · 13/03/2018 01:31

Stop pissing around on mumsnet and deal with the situation at hand. Good luck, the NHS is shite

Eveforever · 13/03/2018 01:31

I'm surprised they were so entitled, self-absorbed and oblivious to other people that you had to even ask them to move.

blaaake · 13/03/2018 01:31

YANBU she sounds like a weird cunt

Raven88 · 13/03/2018 01:33

Trying not to judge but they sound like something of shameless.

You are totally right to ask for a seat. I think most people would have the manners to offer you a seat with your child you wasn't very well. If I was there I would of sided with you.

Hope the little one feels better soon.

NorbertTheDragon · 13/03/2018 01:37

I don't understand why people think they need to take their extended family to a&e? I was there a few weeks back with one of mine and a whole load of people trooped in with a child. I assume mum and dad plus 2 other adults!

It also happened the previous time I was there, which was a couple of years ago.

I can't think of anything more boring than sitting in a hospital with someone else's kids when their parents are with them!

I don't think YWBU asking them to move, and I'm glad the nurse backed you up.

Puffycat · 13/03/2018 01:38

I also would like to add my bestest wishes for your bambino, hope better soon, it’s horrible when they are unwell xx

ilovesooty · 13/03/2018 03:22

If the nurse backed you your actions are hardly in question are they?
Hope your son feels better soon.

ShanghaiDiva · 13/03/2018 03:29

Hope your son feels better soon.
Why on earth would people take so many family members to A&E? You were in the right and they should have had the sense to move before you asked.
All these people clogging up the waiting area must drive the staff nuts.

cornishmumtobe · 13/03/2018 03:32

I think the nurse's actions answers your question Smile

GnotherGnu · 13/03/2018 03:42

Some people do seem to treat a visit to A&E by a family member as entertainment. I suspect it has something to do with trying to create some drama in their lives. Obviously relatives and friends should not be leaving sick and distressed children without a seat, and the nurse's actions demonstrate that you were fully in the rights.

Bolokov · 13/03/2018 03:43

Totally agree with your complaint. Going to A-E is not a day out for the worried well and their various hangers on. Attendees should 1) have an urgent need for treatment. 2) be accompnied by one other person to assist. Anything else is a waste of valuable NHS resources.

Jobjobjob · 13/03/2018 03:46

Stop pissing around on mumsnet and deal with the situation at hand. Good luck, the NHS is shite

Stop pissing around and deal with the situation at hand - what do you even mean by that?

Good luck, the NHS is shite - where was the OP questioning the services of the NHS? In fact I believe that OP and nurse were trying to improve the NHS.

You were right OP it's people like this that bring the over stretched NHS down. Nursing staff don't have time to deal with such rubbish!

Hope your DS is better soon.

Hoolahoophop · 13/03/2018 03:48

Puffycat as another mum in a hospital with my child I have to disagree that the nhs is shite. For us it has been amazing. My baby would not be alive without it

Asking was the right thing to do, the mum flying into a temper was wrong. Hope your dc is better soon.

Jobjobjob · 13/03/2018 03:51

Puffycat as another mum in a hospital with my child I have to disagree that the nhs is shite. For us it has been amazing. My baby would not be alive without it

I agree the NHS is far from shite! Overstretched and underfunded in areas but so far from shite!

Ridiculous statement.

adayatthebeach · 13/03/2018 04:08

anything else is a waste of valuable NHS resourses? What? SItting on a chair? Hmm

DalekDalekDalek · 13/03/2018 04:11

"anything else is a waste of valuable NHS resourses? What? SItting on a chair? "

No but it isn't fair for extra relatives to be preventing a patient from sitting down.

HoppingPavlova · 13/03/2018 04:18

I don't understand why people front up to A&E with a thousand followers, it's very odd.

I can understand 4 adults in a scenario where mum and dad have gone with a child taking siblings with them and then called for back up to take care of siblings for when they are called in with the child who is ill. The other 2 adults then wait with siblings to find out what is going on, whether the child is being admitted and they need to take siblings home or whether child is going home so mum and dad can take all kids.

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/03/2018 04:31

Oh the A&E Family Day Out Hmm

Have witnessed more than my fair share of them, having a larger than average family and a son with extra needs. I wouldnt mind so much but when it becomes clear that the 4 hour wait time (after triage)will not be waived for a child who may have been a bit fretty earlier but is now soundly and happily asleep, they usually bugger off without being seen after monopolising the entire fucking waiting room. And shouting at the nurses because "WE WERE HERE FIRST!" when someone who is bleeding copiously is taken in.

YWNBU

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/03/2018 04:32

And they will all have Vaguebooked about how they are at A&E, tagging in each other, and promising to "PM you hun xox" when asked what has happened by their equally fuckwitted FB friends.

and breathe...............

Sequencedress · 13/03/2018 05:05

It’s totally fine, they were being dicks. The NHS is amazing, please keep supporting it MNers!

wheekwheekpiggiefeet · 13/03/2018 05:46

ChoccyWocky Your poor DS. Hope he feels better soon and no, YWDNBU.

CatchingBabies · 13/03/2018 05:48

You were absolutely right. There is no reason at all for that many people to be there. I can understand both parents where a child is particularly ill, or a parent with other children if there was no adult to watch them but aunts, uncles and grandparents is ridiculous!

LouiseH2017 · 13/03/2018 06:44

You were completely right to say something. I’ve been in a similar situation at a fracture clinic (by myself) and just sat on the floor with my limb obviously in a cast. It was very clear that none of the 75% un-injured family/friends were going to give up their seat and I was feeling too ill to have any confrontation over it.