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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did she regift my present?

77 replies

WishfulThinking18 · 12/03/2018 15:36

This is a bit of an odd one.

It’s my birthday and I’ve just had lunch with my DM and DSis.

DSis gave me a gift which was lovely of her (I wasn’t expecting anything) but when I opened it, it was exactly the same gift I had given her at Xmas.

I must have looked surprised because she quickly said “please don’t think I’ve given you what you gave me. It’s just that I liked it so much that I thought you’d like one yourself”.

FWIW I’m not really fussed if she had recycled my gift to her back to me but AIBU to think it’s a bit odd?

OP posts:
FranticallyPeaceful · 12/03/2018 16:54

Definitely a regift

TwitterQueen1 · 12/03/2018 16:54

Does it really matter? She gave you a gift. Surely that's what counts?

FranticallyPeaceful · 12/03/2018 16:55

And absolutely give it to her again on her birthday or Christmas and say exactly what she said to you

Waddlelikeapenguin · 12/03/2018 16:57

Grin yep regift but i wouldnt push her about it she probably panicked when she realised her mistake & so compounded the mistake by lying.

pawpatrolearworm · 12/03/2018 16:59

could be either, but if it was my sister I'd tell her that she was great on the spot and we'd laugh about it!

BertrandRussell · 12/03/2018 17:01

Don’t give it back to her. Be kind. You must like it yourself or you wouldn’t have given it to her, so you’ve got a nice present!

falsepriest · 12/03/2018 17:04

Reminds me of this, which still makes me giggle:

metro.co.uk/2014/12/24/these-best-friends-have-sent-each-other-the-same-christmas-card-since-the-1970s-4998351/

kierenthecommunity · 12/03/2018 17:05

Does it really matter? She gave you a gift. Surely that's what counts?

A gift she didn’t pay for or make any effort to source. What a tightwad!

PrincessScarlett · 12/03/2018 17:12

Surely she wasn't daft enough to regift to the person who gave to her?! But does sound a bit iffy if it's a toiletry set rather than something she loves that she'd think you love.

Chloe1984 · 12/03/2018 17:21

I’d only give a gift that I’d be happy to receive myself, so getting the same back would be no problem in my book!

Zazzleza · 12/03/2018 17:22

My friends mum had a “regift” drawer.... I’ll always remember being given a used perfume that had clearly been in the drawer for some time as it had that “gone off” smell.
At least it was still untouched! Embarrassing for her though!

Riverside2 · 12/03/2018 17:23

this has got to be a case of her giving it back to you because she doesn't like it.... mean IMHO!

PierceBronhom · 12/03/2018 17:29

I’m surprised so many people seem so convinced that it was a regift. It’s definitely not so clear cut that it would be acceptable to be a twat and give it back to her at the next birthday/Christmas.

Original poster
WishfulThinking18 · 12/03/2018 17:33

Oh don’t get me wrong Bertrand, I actually do really like it. Especially the body butter is absolutely lovely!

It’s just really funny that’s all

OP posts:
Karigan1 · 12/03/2018 17:34

This isn’t necessarily a regift.

Hissy · 12/03/2018 17:34

If it was something she bought, she’ll have the receipt won’t she...

LadyKyliePonsonbyFarquhar · 12/03/2018 17:38

Doesn't necessarily means she hated it. Maybe she just got too many toiletry sets.

PatchworkElmer · 12/03/2018 17:39

Definitely a re-gift!

This reminds me of when I received a body shop gift set a couple of years ago. I knew from having it before that the moisturiser upset my sensitive skin, so I went in to see if I could exchange it for exactly the same set, but a different fragrance. I was super embarrassed at the till when the cashier scanned it and said “err, the system says we haven’t stocked this set for 6 years!” So I’d say it had been re-gifted multiple times before it got to me 😂

ElinoristhenewEnid · 12/03/2018 17:39

I regift all the time and have no shame about it.
I do label the gifts with the name of the person I received it from and make sure it is gifted to the other family - eg present from dhs dsis would be given to my dsis/dsil! The 2 families hardly ever meet!

Bodgernbadger · 12/03/2018 17:41

My sister does this all the time, I suspect it’s some kind of lazy/passive aggressive thing
Christmas 2015 I gave her “boots flowers travel shower gel gift set”
Christmas 2016 I receive said set
Christmas 2016 I gave her “perfume and body spray set” “red fluffy slippers socks”
My birthday 2017 I receive perfume set back
Christmas 2017 my mother receives red fluffy slipper socks
She has plenty of money, I just think she can’t be arsed, didn’t give her anything this year

Teddy1970 · 12/03/2018 17:42

My MIL is a dreadful re gifter, so much so she forgets who gave her what present, so I've ended up being given gifts that I'd given her in the first place! I don't like the practice personally, as kieron said earlier, they haven't paid for it and there's no thought in the gift whatsoever.

specialsubject · 12/03/2018 17:42

gentle hint to stop exchanging expensive, overpriced useless crap of the type bought only by women. Twenty quid????? Jeez.

very funny though!

coffeeaddict · 12/03/2018 17:45

I don't think it's necessarily a regift. My friend gave me a gorgeous gift once and I gave exactly the same thing (new, not mine!) to her next birthday because I knew she loved it but wouldn't treat herself. We enthuse about beauty products and often use the same stuff.

dorifish · 12/03/2018 17:46

rule no.1 of regifting is that you must MUST remember who gave you what.

I'm more baffled by her reaction..

either she was genuine...
or
was well aware and being passive aggressive
or
regift and forgot but then had that phrase prepared in case it was the wrong recipient and your reaction was her cueue she messed up.

bizarre...

anyway you were there and you know her.. what's your gut feeling?

Bodgernbadger · 12/03/2018 17:53

I don’t regift, it’s lazy and unthoughtfull, if I receive a gift I don’t want either one of my girls has it, sell on Facebook or just charity shop it