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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many people have asked for a cesarean out of preference?

457 replies

VioletteValentia · 12/03/2018 07:36

I did it. I’ve never met another person who has, or who has admitted to it. I have come across people who seem convinced that supporting maternal choice would lead to everyone asking for cesareans, which I think is bullshit. Not everyone wants one!

Did you do this? Would you? Would you be more likely to if you felt the option was equally acceptable?

I’m interested in how many women feel like I did.

I shouldn’t have to say this but...no “natural v cesarean” insulting please.

OP posts:
coffeeforone · 12/03/2018 09:12

I wouldn’t by choice purely for recovery reasons. But I’d happily have one if there was a hint that a vaginal was risky.

However, on DH’s side of the family (different culture and country with only private medical care), every single one of our friends and family have elected for a c-section out of choice. They are amazed it’s not the default option in the UK.

Fugitivefrombrusstice · 12/03/2018 09:13

I wouldn't ask for one just because I think recovering from surgery with a newborn would be hard. That said if I needed one I would have no problem with it! As long as it works for the mother and baby, I think it's a good thing.

Gennz18 · 12/03/2018 09:13

^by which I mean the planned CS risks as knowable and measurable and the VB is just a total crap shoot so I'll take the certainty any day. Plus I thought the downside of CS' were vastly overstated - most studies lump EMCS and medically required ELCS in together with ELCS for maternal request only, which totally skews the data

BinRaidingRaccoon · 12/03/2018 09:15

I did for anxiety - wasn't a problem. As is transpired, the size of his head would have made pushing him out of my fanny impossible without massive structural damage.

Original poster
VioletteValentia · 12/03/2018 09:15

I think there is almost a conspiracy to underplay the risks of natural birth and overplay those associated with a c section. This is combined with an attitude in society that c sections are somehow wussing out of something women SHOULD do and that every woman's duty is to at least attempt natural birth otherwise you are single handedly bankrupting the NHS (untrue) or are somehow weak (also untrue).

I agree with this. I chose it because I’m lucky to live in a country that has the technology to do so. Choosing it doesn’t make me weak.

I had someone tell me I picked the easy way. I said yeah, I did. Why would you make it harder for yourself? Bit silly that.

They had no answer!

OP posts:
oohyoudevilyou · 12/03/2018 09:16

I had an emergency CS followed by a traumatic VBAC. For number three I was so so pleased to be offered an elective CS. Wouldn't have dared ask for one though, as there's such a stigma attached to being too lazy/wimpy to push.

DuggeeHugs · 12/03/2018 09:16

I suspect one of the reasons the difference in cost isn't that big is because 90% of first VBs result in some cuts or tearing. 9% in 3rd or 4th degree tears. The post-natal costs for repairs and on going physio/treatment is probably significant.

Original poster
VioletteValentia · 12/03/2018 09:17

by which I mean the planned CS risks as knowable and measurable and the VB is just a total crap shoot so I'll take the certainty any day

It’s so much easier to plan for a cesarean. A VB is like rolling the dice and hoping for a 20.

OP posts:
madeyemoodysmum · 12/03/2018 09:18

I did. I had severe spd and a fear of childbirth. However I've not admitted it as you get sneered at.

I told everyone baby was breech.

DuggeeHugs · 12/03/2018 09:21

coffeeforone is some element of that due to being given a more balanced view of pros and cons? My consultant was keen to discuss in detail the risks of a CS but less so to go into detail about the figures she gave suggesting CS reduces the risk of stillbirth by half.

Gennz18 · 12/03/2018 09:23

Haha Violette me too

"Oh you were too posh to push" sneerily

"Yes I was!! Hahahahahha! Best decision ever!!!"

CookPassBabtridge · 12/03/2018 09:24

I agree about the easy option thing.. yes for me it was the easy option, why would I choose the hard one when it's not necessary?

SleightOfGender · 12/03/2018 09:24

Two emergency sections. I didn't want a section - the recovery was horrible. I was in hospital with my babies for almost 2 weeks after the birth for my first, over 3 weeks for my second. Wouldn't do it through choice but I wouldn't have a choice now anyway.

Shutupanddance1 · 12/03/2018 09:25

I’d advise anyone looking for info about giving birth to look at the Cochran’s reviews on the subject as it gives a quite unbiased opinion I’ve thought.

That said, I didn’t enjoy my ‘non’ emergency C section and wouldn’t be keen to go through it again.

Manctart · 12/03/2018 09:25

I am having an elective c-section didn't to Crohn's disease and existing damage to my bowel whichever might make it dangerous to push. I thinking I probably would have asked about one anyway though because I have had that many people fiddling around with me due to the Crohn's that I am not sure how much more I could take during labour and childbirth! I understand both sides of the argument but I think it's important to respect an individual's choices.

Bodicea · 12/03/2018 09:25

I did request after a third degree tear with my first. No regrets.

I know and obstetrician that had a planned section with her first, for no medical reason. Says a lot!

carryondoctor · 12/03/2018 09:27

The one thing I would say is that repeat c sections can get more dangerous. So if it's your first and in an ideal world you'd like a couple more, a natural birth could well be a better option.

this will be my last section and, fingers crossed, if all goes well, my last baby, so I am relaxed about it. If i wanted a third and fourth, I'd probably be going for the VBAC.

GrannyGrissle · 12/03/2018 09:28

Me! Terrified of vaginal birth. Asked my consultant how his wife had given birth and said elective c section. That told me all I needed to know!

Freetodowhatiwant · 12/03/2018 09:30

I asked for one both times and got them. DC1 was breech when I made the appointment but then did turn with plenty of time to change it. I was nervous about any way of giving birth tbh but to me a planned CS seemed the most controllable option. My nhs consultant was fine. Maybe because I had a history of miscarriages

Bear2014 · 12/03/2018 09:31

I think conspiracy is putting it a bit strongly - vaginal birth is rightly the default, c-section is thankfully available as an alternative and has saved countless lives. It's great that we have evolved so that women also have a choice and that anxiety etc are valid reasons. This is the right thing.
*
But c-sections should not be seen as cheating or the easy way out, it's major surgery. I have had a transfusion, had to take morphine, had to be on antibiotics, stay extra days in hospital, my partner has had to take prolonged leave to help me care for the baby/toddler as I was in agony for weeks. This is after elective* c-sections. Whereas most women I know to have vaginal births went for lunch the day after and were able to cope fine with baby care. I know that many many women have birth injuries, PTSD etc but surely they are still in the minority.

AnxiousNewUser · 12/03/2018 09:31

Another one here. A combination of factors: some relating to my own emotional and mental health, some relating to the fact that my midwife was refusing to listen to my worries about family history and the baby's size/ position. If I'd felt supported, I might have been happy to give vaginal birth a shot, but the only advice she had about the birth was "whatever you do, don't turn up at the hospital until the last possible moment because they're very understaffed", which just terrified me, and "any woman can give birth to a 10lb baby" (I don't know if that's true, but one of my best friends did and she had horrible tearing so managing it isn't the same as managing it with you and baby both unscathed). So I guess loss of trust in my care providers was the big factor?

LardLizard · 12/03/2018 09:31

I had an elective/sort of advised after having a 4th degree year (ouch)
And it was much better healing process
I think midwives can be quite down on them I remember one saykf. To me oh what a shame after she read I was having a planned c section
I replied oh I I’m quite happy about that
She looked pissed offf
Where as most of the consultants completely understand
So you might need to at throuh the midwife first but once you do they will understand

Lockheart · 12/03/2018 09:31

If I have children I want an ELCS under general. If I can’t have that then I’m simply not having children. Needless to say this would probably involve planning in advance with a private unit.

I’ve seen natural births (and associated after effects) and like fuck am I putting myself through that.

This is not a question of ifs and buts for me - it’s either my way or I won’t have children.

Don’t give a shiny shite if people think I’m precious or lazy. My body, my pregnancy, my decision.

Original poster
VioletteValentia · 12/03/2018 09:32

I was asked how many kids I wanted. If it was more than 3, they wouldn’tve done it.

OP posts:
user1471506568 · 12/03/2018 09:35

Bear - I wouldn't say they are in the minority at all. Have you read the statistics around natural birth and the associated issues? Also, I had two relatively problem free c sections and was up and about quite quickly (admittedly still not completely free to do what I wanted and taking sensible precautions). I think the problem with taking your friends as a sample group for this kind of thing is that people have a propensity to underplay things sometimes and I think this is especially true where things like incontinence and tears etc can be a bit embarrassing.