I really need your help!

[cantstopfuckingeating]

Shamelessly posting here for traffic.

I'm 41 and hugely overweight. I need to loose 6-7 stone and I'm desperate to get my life back and be healthy again.

I've joined slimming world about 40,000 times and do great for about 2 weeks then self sabotage and gain what I've lost then some.

I've done Cambridge, WW the lot, nothing has worked.

It's because I can't stop self sabotaging. I'll shove crap food and wine into my fat face knowing it's the wrong thing to do. The voice in my head is telling my this is bad, stop now, this is dangerous etc but yet I still scoff.

I'm literally digging my own grave with my knife and fork

I want some stories if you've been in a similar situ, how did you turn around? How did you beat your daemon and make a success of it?

Watch ‘Fat Sick Nearly Dead’ on Netflix.

Speak to your Dr and ask for a referral for counselling and get to the root of why you're eating like you do. Then eat less and move more.

You need to work out why you sabotage. Until you know that you won't be able to stop.

Also I find /r/loseit a sub on Reddit incredibly inspirational. Some of the Americans have lost hundreds of pounds and talk through how they've done it and also post before and after photos

Contact "the fitness guy" thefitnessguy.uk he specialises in women and he will be able to help but it will be slowly and surely. Start small like remove one fizzy drink a day or walk an extra 2000 steps a day. It should take you years to sustainabily lose that much weight.

Good luck.

Speak to your doctor and get a copy of Mosley's "Blood sugar diet" it starts off with a couple of examples of people turning their lives around.

I'm 37 and in the same boat, OP. I'm under counselling for other issues but hope this will help with the eating as well.

And the first person to say "eat less, move more" need to take a long hard look at themselves and assure us all they are indeed perfect.

Can you maybe try and lay out the reasons you eat crap?
What triggers you - is it when you’re bored? Feeling down? Need a ‘treat’ to cheer yourself up?
Do you eat for comfort?
Etc
If you find out the reasons you turn to food and try to move away from emotional eating that could help.

Its making smart choices with food, smaller portions, cut the sugar cut the fat and get moving. But if there are psychological barriers in the way it will never work until you've broken through them.

It's no coincidence many new dog owners lose a lot of weight in the first year of dog ownership

Look up fitnaturally. Worked for me - long term, sustainable weight loss and super tasty healthy eating. I'm not on the plans any more but have now learned to manage my food and weight myself by having followed them.

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I would definitely recommend counselling to understand triggers and why you sabotage. It doesn't matter what diet you do or what book you read if your underlying thinking has not changed.

You do not need our help.

You need you own help.

It's literally that.

The method is irrelevant if you don't have the mindset. It's an incredibly difficult thing to do, I have been the victim of my own sabotage many times, but that's what it boils down to. Being mentally 'there'

I had a Mother’s day photo shoot with my kids and OMG, I couldn’t believe the size of me!
I know I’m 5’2” and 12 stone but it was only when I saw the state of myself in pictures next to my kids that I realised I have been delusional and I have a problem.

Basically you need to know why you do it and be ready to change it. Its not our bodies that get in the way, it’s our minds.

I know why it clicked for me. Not a nice story.... but as horrible as it was it made me confront the fact that if I ever wanted to lose weight I’d just have to get stuck in and do it. No one was going to do it for and my choices were to feel bad about myself for the rest of my life or just get it done. And I was tired of feeling bad about myself, which I think was the key.... I wasn’t angry or upset or frustrated, just tired of it being such a big part of my life. And I think that was the trigger, as it certainly wasn’t the first time I’d been made to feel bad about my weight!

Unlike many previous attempts on this occasion it succeeded and nearly 10 years down the road I’m still 5 stone lighter and very sporty. It’s a never ending journey - I’ve gone up and down, diets have been on and off. But the highs are never as high and the lows get lower. I’ve had to change how I think about food, change my tastes (cannot abide sugary drinks now.... taste syrupy and blah) and rethink who I am (I used to believe I wasn’t/ couldn’t be ‘sporty’ now I think of myself as a very active fit person). I had to stop thinking of myself as a ‘fat person’ who had managed to lose some weight (because always leads to returning to your ‘true fat self’ at some point).

But I guess my point here is that all the things I’ve just said are about what was going on mentally - none of it is about a diet and exercise regime which ultimately is the simple bit.... eat less and move more.... but you know that.

I am in a similar position. I've lost 4lb in the last 4 weeks and I'm thrilled. I've stopped eating crisps and chocolate and that's it. I know in rl when I tell people I've lost 4lb they think it's nothing and they could lose that in a week and all that other rubbish that people think and spout, but you know what, I'm really proud of myself. And it's genuinely spurred me on to lose more. That shift in my head from "I must do this" to "I want to do this" has made a big difference. I keep telling myself I can lose 1lb a week and I really hope I can.

The thing that has really helped me has been running. Here is why I think it helps:

1. it's a massive self esteem boost to know you're doing something good for yourself
2. endorphins - happy people are more in control
3. if you've gone to the effort of running, you don't want to undo the good work of the run with shit food

Try the couch to 5K app. Even if you are hugely overweight and a total couch potato you will still be able to do it (you only run for a minute at a time to start)

You can do it OP

I'm addicted to food and decided that it needed to stop. I can't do a diet for the rest of my life but I've found two books very helpful. The Easyway to lose weight and eating less - say goodbye to the overeating by the Gillian Riley. They have made me think differently about why and what I eat. I gave up smoking using the Easyway about 8 years ago and I don't miss it at all!

Tired said 'That shift in my head from "I must do this" to "I want to do this" has made a big difference'

Exactly that. You need to want to do it rather than feel you must. A change of mindset. That's how I stopped smoking and how I'm losing weight again now. 4kg lost, 12kg more to go.

Remember also if you have one binge don't give up! Just resume eating sensibly.
Good luck.

To me, food never let's me down. I know it's going to give me enjoyment each time without fail when life is shit.

If life wasn't so shit and disappointing, maybe I wouldn't eat so much.

Therefore, OP, if you are like me, I think you need to get to the bottom of why life is shit for you and address that, maybe with some counselling, along with any structured diet, and physical activity.

I've just sat down to read all your replies and I'm overwhelmed. Thanks so much for being so supportive.
I think my trigger is stress. I'm a working mum, busy busy all the time and I reward my self for getting through the day / week with treats.
I suffer anxiety but my mental health is otherwise good.

I'm going to really break it down to morning, afternoon and evening, take each meal at a time to begin with.
I'm off work tomorrow so it gives me a chance to plan and prep. I really want to do it this time... I have to for my kids sake. Thanks so much you've no idea what you've done to spur me on

Good luck OP. You can do this. When I planned my diet, I made up a chart showing my weight at the start, my ideal weight at the end and my target weights each week/month inbetween to get to my ideal weight. It gave me smaller manageable achievable targets to aim for and was rewarding in itself when I achieved them. The diet itself should be more of a permaent change in lifestyle rather than a temporary change in eating so that it continues after you have achieved your ideal weight. I also walk about 3 or 4 miles each day and try and do lots of things to be active. The mathematical principle is simple - if you use up more calories in daily activities than you consume in food, you will lose weight. If you consume more calories in food than you use up in activities, you will put on weight.

nd the first person to say "eat less, move more" need to take a long hard look at themselves and assure us all they are indeed perfect

Do you have to be perfect to know that that is bloody obvious? OP agrees she needs to do that, its about how.

Hypnotherapy OP? Some people swear by it.

OP have you seen Whole 30 book? It’s initially a 30 day food challenge but the food is really so amazing you hardly miss what you’re not allowed. It helps to reset your body and reprogram your tastes. Most people continue with a modified version ongoing as I have when you begin to reintroduce foods and realise which foods really don’t specifically work with your body . I’d highly recommend it. Weight loss is not what it’s about - health is what it’s about- but it’s a side effect along with exercise.

Don't try to change everything all at once. You will overwhelm yourself with drastic changes. Start small e.g. change your snacks or 1 meal a day to something healthy and take a 5 or 10 minute walk. It seems like nothing but if you change every meal cut out all your sugars wines dats etc you're setting yourself up to fail.

Do some research and find foods that will keep you full for longer - nothing worse than the constant hunger when you're trying to be good!

Finally the biggest help i found was understanding my food. Sure i can eat half that cake there but i would have to walk (plod) for 7 days straight to work it off. Or i can eat that very small slice and walk an extra 15 minutes. Eat your treats slowly taking sips of water between mouthfulls so it feels like it lasts longer.

Good luck op! Believe in yourself!

Hi cantstop I have a bit of experience of what you’re going through, I love eating and I managed to lose 2 stone, so I’ll try and give you some tips.

I think that 90% of tackling weight-loss is in the mind, you really have to be in the right mindset to do it. I think that the key word in your post is “can’t” you say you can’t stop self-sabotaging. Well actually you can, but you need some help.

You need to try and work out why you self-sabotage. Are you trying to punish yourself? Are you trying to punish someone else? I used to come home from a bad day at work and have a binge and think, that’ll show them. What on Earth? What was I even thinking? I’d eat as a reward, as a comfort, as a pick-me-up.

And think about why you want to lose weight? For you I hope. For your health, your self-esteem, your confidence? The answers are within yourself. You are the only one stopping you from doing this, you need to dig deep and find your inner strength to do it.

Tips I found useful:

1. Set small targets. I would never have lost 2 stone if I’d set out to lose 2 stone. Try to lose 1/2 a stone, or to reduce your BMI by 1 at a time. Then celebrate that achievement (but not with a cake!) and move on to the next target.

2. Don’t have crappy food in the house. Just don’t buy it. It’s a lot harder to binge if the food isn’t there and you have to go and buy it. Buy some healthy things to snack on. I only buy salt and vinegar crisps for the kids because I don’t like them so I won’t be tempted!

3. Don’t shop when you’re hungry or down. You’ll be tempted. I once spent a good few minutes arguing with myself in my head about a packet of smarties in a supermarket - you deserve them, they’re only small, you can start again tomorrow etc. No! Don’t buy them!

4. Weight loss doesn’t start tomorrow it starts today! Don’t put it off, tackle it head-on.

5. If you exercise find something you enjoy otherwise you’ll come to dread it and avoid it. I tried to replace car journeys with walking and cycling, I hate the gym so I got outside instead, I walked up steps instead of taking lifts and escalators.

6. I was inspired by some words from the musical Matilda - nobody else is going to put it right for me, nobody but me is going to change my story. It’s down to you. OP you want to do it, you really can!

Good luck