To be concerned with friends relationship?

[lunaloner]

One of my close friends is 25 and her boyfriend has just turned 40. They were 21 and 36 when they got together. Now don't get me wrong, he's an absolutely lovely bloke and they are very happy, I was a bit wary at first hearing about the age gap but he's been around for so long and they are happy so I just got used to it and kind of forgot about it. I've met him lots of times and he doesn't seem his age and he does look younger, he's a very fun character. However she's just announced they are expecting a baby this year and I feel horrible for feeling this way, but I'm a little concerned. They are both so happy as are their family's.. but I'm just worried that it may not be noticeable now but what happens when she's 35 and he's 50.. they'll have a 10 year old and they want more kids so likely younger children too and I fear the age gap will really become noticeable then. I know it's not my place and my concerns won't change anything.. she's pregnant, engaged and in love. I just really fear for when his age catches up with him... AIBU?

18 years between my uncle and his wife. They had children Beatrice & Eugenies age (can't remember how old they are, sorry - side effect of meningitis). He is knocking on 80 now. They are mid twenties I think. Seem to have no negative impact on their lives and they are all still very happy.

The age gap between my Dh and me is 16yrs. We’ve been together 10yrs and have an 8 and 7yr old. All my friends were just happy that we are happy.

If all you are concerned about is the age gap, then YABU.

I really don’t understand why you are concerned about the age gap? it sounds as if she is happy, that’s the main thing right?

what happens when she's 35 and he's 50

I like to think the world will implode under the strain of the massively massive age gap.

nothing will happen

My dad was 15 years older than my Mam. He was 47 when they had their last child. He lived until he was 80 and all of us were fully grown up, and was very active until the last year of his life. YABU

What's the solution? That they break up and she pretends to her child that her partner never existed to spare it the pain of its dad dying?

My best friend's dad died when she was 9 and her mum died when she was 19. Both were in their early 20s when she was conceived. Youth is no guarantee of longevity. It's also no guarantee that people will be decent parents - better a lovely dad for 20 years than a bastard dad for 50 years.

Hopefully they'll have many happy years together, and hopefully you'll realise that worrying about the perfectly reasonable decision of other people is nothing for you to worry about.

My ex bf was a fair bit older than me, about 11 years, and we’ve now both moved on. He’s now married to someone with the same age gap as your friend, and has the most lovely sweet family. He’s really a devoted dad and does the majority of the childcare, I can’t see any cause to worry about their set-up. They’re all happy and having a nice life, so why be concerned when there are people out there living in real misery and hardship, children with parents that don’t give a shit about them... Age is nothing compared to a loving family and happy relationship.

I have a fourteen year age gap with DH. We had our DS when DH was 49. So we were living the 35/50 age with a 1yo.

We all needed a nap.

Blimy my dh was 49 when we had our first child.

What do you think will happen when he's 50? Will he suddenly become old and infirm? Not able to keep up? I'd better tell my now 65yr old dh that he should be home with his slippers and a rug over his knees

Dunno about 50,but what happens at 48 is that OH takes DD swimming,parks,to play football,soft play and runs around with her,while i stay home and rest because 1. I'm shattered 2. I have things to sort 3. I don't like that kind of thing.

I really have done nothing but welcome him into my life That;s so good of you.

Considering that IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!

My DH is 13 years older than me, he has just turned 50, our youngest is 7! Absolutely never been an issue for us and we’ve been been together 15 years! I’m sure it’ll all work out fine OP

You do know that some women have babies at 40? (Shocker!). Some even have much younger husbands...

Are you worrying your friend is settling down too early? Or is unhappy?

If it all hinges on the age of her partner, then you're being ageist and UABVVU

It’s 15 years. A friend of mine has just left her husband for a man 35 years older than her.

Are you jealous of your friend?

It’s very odd you’re so concerned.

If they are happy does it matter? Look at Celine Dion and René Angéli...there were 26 years in between them.

Seriously?! Butt out of judging and be happy for your friend.

Their age gap is none of your business.

Are YOU the 25 y.o woman OP?

I mean, is this a reverse???

Did somebody leave the gates open at Goady Fucker Zoo again?

OP your writing style is very similar to other threads I've read on here recently on similar topics. Hmmm...🤔

Oh fgs at 40 being ancient.

I get that you might be close to your friend, but looking after or out for her is not as much of your responsibility as you think it is.
I think the whole 'being happy for her' thing sounds terribly patronising tbh.
And you don't sound happy for her anyway, just a bit judgy.
She doesn't need your approval.
Maybe review the balance in your relationship.

I’m just short of 50 btw. My hobbies are surfing, moor waking and horse riding. I am about to return to uni to retrain. I have three children including one who is severely disabled and had a lot of physical behaviours which I manage pretty well - better than plenty of people in their 20’s that have worked with him - (despite my hugely advanced age )

I’m sure he’ll be able to cope with a ten year old without assistance