To be annoyed at DH

[Tinkerbell2003]

I have a DS (18 months). Yesterday DH insisted he had errands to run and was gone over 2 hours but was going on about how it was all a surprise. Fine.

Today he hands me a card and a mug (not wrapped, still in its amazon delivery box). Turns out it was the card he spent all that time getting yesterday. I ask him what we’re doing today and he confirms nothing planned, just pottering about.

AIBU to be upset that absolutely zero thought has gone into celebrating mother’s day?

Why is leaving a card to the last minute (which he didn't if he bought it yesterday), different to buy the card a few days earlier?

Surely it's the same card?

Ditto wrapping the mug. It's something you can keep forever. Are you even going to remember in years to come what the wrapper looked like?

Don't sweat the small stuff. These things really really don't matter, if you're in a loving, happy family.
If you're not, that's the problem, and these are just representations of a bigger problem.

PlayingForKittens spot on

I was going to say I bet the Op is pissed because he was gone two hours and not because she only got a mug and a card.

Was he skivving OP?

Maybe say in advance " I thought on mother's day we could all go for a bike ride / afternoon tea/ fly a kite on the beach/ have lunch in the pub!". Then when he agrees that it's a good idea, ask if he's happy to organise it? In terms of gifts, it's about the relationship with your children, when your son is older he will love to bring you a peculiar breakfast in bed and a bunch of daffs or a card he has made in nursery. I think of all the shop tat as being for adult children to take to their own mothers, as a token that you are an adult but you love and respect your mother and know her taste well enough to get her bath salts/ a Pandora ring / a potted rose tree. You will look back with such fondness at the home made cards and nutella on toast with a glass of milk stage !

Mothers Day is a money driven construct by card companies and others to extract your cash. It's on the same day as Mothering Sunday when people visited their 'mother' church.

I don't understand why DHs are being berated for not buying cards/gifts for their DWs on their children's behalf. Maybe wait until the children are of an age to buy their own card and gift?

In the OP's case she got both, so no idea what she's moaning about.

FFS I've just spotted someone moaning about being woken up by a flower delivery.

I think the OP would've given the card a miss if she would've known it's more hassle for her.

Reading these I really do think some people are never happy. How ungrateful.

OP, I'm with you. I'm grateful to my DH for all the work he puts in as a dad and all the love he provides for our child, and on Father's Day we'll make a big fuss of him. I expect the same courtesy from him. It's not about money, it's about effort.

DP somehow got talked into buying me aloe Vera juice from some MLM woman, as apparently it will ease my arthritis, it tastes utterly rank so it could be worse OP!

Far too much weight given to these 'special days', expectations far too high and posters suddenly expecting their OH to turn into a wonderfully organised genius of present-buying and suprise-delivering.

Same posters also protesting they would have been glad of a bunch of daisies picked from the side of the road if enough thought had gone into it.

I think you are very ungrateful.

Cringing at @Greyponcho

Who cares when he got your card. Does it show more love if it was picked 6 weeks ago?

YABVU

OP, when your 26 yr old DD doesn’t even get you a card or even wish you a happy mother’s day, saying “It’s not my fault it’s Mother’s Day, I didn’t ask to be born” then you can moan about zero effort.

I get you OP, it's not that it was a card and a mug, it was the fact that his 2 hour jolly while you were at home with DS yesterday was in fact nothing to do with the 'surprise' he hinted at, and was in fact just him mooching about on his own for a couple of hours before picking up a card from Tesco.

Yes, wow, he also spent approx 5 minutes on Amazon typing in 'Mothers Day gift' and clicking ' add to basket' - you are indeed truly blessed!

FFS I've just spotted someone moaning about being woken up by a flower delivery. I'd be pissed off about this too Worra! Being woken up early on your one lie-in day is really annoying I turn off my phone, instruct the kids not come in before xx o' clock and then some fucker bangs on the door at 7.30am and makes me want to stab them. We can't all just 'go back to sleep' that easily.

I’m bucking the trend, i’d be upset too a mug from a Amon demonstrates fuck all thought so I’d rather have nothing. I’d much prefer a nice breakfast and evening meal prepared by my DH than a mug. Reading between the lines is this thoughtlessness symptom of your wider relationship and is that why it’s hurting you?

So far DD has gone on a course and left at 7am, dp has gone to the football and left at 8am to get the train and ds has gone with him.

I have been working clearing out a out building.

I think I am getting a card later.

Would have liked a cup of tea and everyone to be around.

Every year, without fail we get several mums usually with their pfb expecting their DP to make a huge massive fuss, presents, soppy cards, meals out from their newborn then when it doesn't happen they post on here expressing disappointment.

Mine were in full time nursery at six months, I got something made by the lovely nursery nurses until they started school, then something from the child made in class.

Seriously get a grip.

You know what to do, don’t you? Just before Father’s Day you desperately need to go out for 2 hours. Top secret business.

Get a manicure, coffee, whatever and get a card and mug. Job done.

i got my mum a card and present yesterday, the town was heaving with people and card factory should have been declared a no go zone, i was out for about 3 hours. id be mightily pissed if she said i went to no effort. i think you are ungrateful, its just a day, i dont see it as what presents and fanfare am i getting today, its about showing love and appreciation, my dh got me a card from the dc that said 'you're like a mum to me' did i get all pissy and moan, no i didnt, its the thought that counts

So sick of people coming in here and complaining about the present they were given.