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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to hate my new house?

71 replies

HackedOffSeller · 10/03/2018 23:00

It's taken months to get into my new house and I'm two days in and having serious wobbles. I knew it needed a lot of work but I'm finding that the layout isn't even right. I've got this nice garden but the only rooms overlooking them are a back bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen which is too small for a table and a huge but very cold conservatory. The sellers misled me on the conservatory as they said they used it all year round but I can't see how they did based on how cold it is.

I know it's really early days but I'm really worried that I'm going to basically be stuck in a front living room never really seeing the garden (my last house had the living room at the back). I'm really missing my old house.

Everyone else thinks this house is amazing bit I'm really worried I've bought a dud. Please reassure me that it all gets better!

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/03/2018 23:07

Can't you put heating in the conservatory?

Original poster
HackedOffSeller · 10/03/2018 23:12

There is heating but it's a bit like an aircraft hanger. I think I'm a bit intimidated by the size of it. I'm hoping that underfloor heating is not too expensive as I think it's the only thing which would work.

OP posts:
Bambamber · 10/03/2018 23:14

I had/have serious regrets with our new house. I had a massive breakdown after we moved, literally breaking down in tears crying that I hated the house. I have found it's got better with time. It's still not really what I wanted, But especially now we are redecorating I am feeling much better about it. Still don't know what we're going to do about the layout downstairs, but planning changes has made me feel much better and I dislike the house slightly less every day. I think it's a bit of a shock to the system as it's a big change

Original poster
HackedOffSeller · 10/03/2018 23:18

I'm currently reading old mumsnet threads from people who have also had the same wobbles when they move in, so it seems like it's quite normal. But it really doesn't feel too good at the moment. I'm really worried that I've made a terrible mistake.

OP posts:
CremeFresh · 10/03/2018 23:20

I felt the same 2 years ago when we moved . I sat and sobbed when my family, who had helped us move , left. I hated it for months .

I've now decorated and I love it, I hope it's the same for you Op.

userxx · 10/03/2018 23:22

I hated my house too. Cried my eyes out on the stairs wondering what the hell I had done. I love it now.

Original poster
HackedOffSeller · 10/03/2018 23:33

These sorts of messages are really reassuring. I need to remember why I wanted to move. The things I wanted were a detached house (last house was terraced and I could hear the neighbours kids running about), I wanted my own driveway (again the neighbour was always parking across two spaces), a bungalow (I have a long term condition that sometimes leaves me bed bound so being all on one floor is better). I suppose I'm conscious of the fact that all I've done is sleep in one room and sat in the living room. I seem to be avoiding all the other rooms for some reason. Really I need some sort of bedside as this place seems way too big at the moment.

OP posts:
Feilin · 10/03/2018 23:42

Stry cosyroof? For the conservatory? Itd be my favourite place if it was sorted out

MarSeeAh · 10/03/2018 23:43

If you're in the UK, then this cold weather probably won't help, and you'll be able to get a better sense of how you'll use the conservatory once we get into Spring properly and a bit of heat about the place.

Is the back bedroom big enough to be used as a cosy snug in the colder months?

alligatortoss · 10/03/2018 23:44

I'm hoping that underfloor heating is not too expensive as I think it's the only thing which would work.

I was quoted £250 for my tiny bathroom ... and that was mates rates.

user1483992574 · 10/03/2018 23:46

Our conservatory is 5 metres by 2.5 . We have blue glass roof & eco heaters , usable all year !

OutyMcOutface · 10/03/2018 23:49

Don’t bother with underfloor heathibg in the conservatory. It doesn’t work and screws up your boiler. Conservatories are always cold in the winter. My advice to you would be cosy furniture with wool throws and a wood burner.

Jackyjill6 · 10/03/2018 23:52

I think 2 days in that it is unsurprising that you are wobbling, it's a bit like starting a new job where you are missing your old colleagues.

Give it time until you can put your 'stamp' on it and make it home. And get one of those plug in oil filled radiators for the conservatory so you can sit in it!

SecondaryConfusion · 10/03/2018 23:54

For the conservatory, you can fit a ‘fan’ radiator to your normal heating system. It runs off the main boiler but is also connected to electricity so it pumps the hot air around. You can also get an insulated roof (or even blinds) that help keep the heat in.

Original poster
HackedOffSeller · 10/03/2018 23:55

My Dad is a plumber so I get family rates, bit to put the conservatory into context it's about 25 foot long, 10 foot wide and ceilings are 12 foot in the middle. It is a beast. I think changing the roof might help too but with the cost of doing the house up it may be out of the budget at the moment. I feel a little misled by the previous owners who claimed they used it all year round.

The back bedroom snug is an idea. I was thinking about getting French doors put in there so at least I can see the garden a bit more.

I know I have to just suck it up as I'm here now, but it's incredibly useful to hear that other people were in the same situation and got over it.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 10/03/2018 23:55

I felt like this. We viewed on a lovely sunny day when it was ready for viewing. We knew it needed total redecoration pretty quickly but it was way worse than we realised.

We moved in on a cold December day. The previous owners seemed to have gone out of their way to smoke as much as they could in every room before moving out, kitchen doors started falling off the first night, the carpet was so baggy and old it was depressing to look at.

All my husband and I could think was we’d left our smart flat in a fashionable part of London for a shithole and an extra bedroom. We were very upset for a few days.

After that survival mode kicked in. I started seeing the positives (very warm, lovely neighbours, masses of space, private garden) and set about deep cleaning with neutradol.

It’s not finished yet but we love our house now - you just need to get used to it and start making it your own.

Good luck!!

NowtSalamander · 10/03/2018 23:56

Definitely get one of those roofs fitted on your conservatory- much warmer. And not too expensive- nothing like underfloor heating.

I hated my house. I now quite like it years later but needed to make it feel like my space.

Mulberrybaby · 10/03/2018 23:57

Once you e started to put your stamp on the house, it will feel more like home OP, if you’re anything like me I’m a creature of habit and don’t adapt to change very well.
Give it time and a beautiful sunny day and no doubt things will start to fall into place. Focus on all the positives for now as you say, being detached own driveway etc...
i hope you settle in and feel happy in your new home very soon 😘

sweetkitty · 10/03/2018 23:57

If you have the money rip down the conservatory build a new extension with a bigger kitchen and a proper sunroom with insulated walls and a roof. I know a big ask but maybe something for the future in a few years?

Original poster
HackedOffSeller · 11/03/2018 00:03

I definitely feel like I'm squatting in the house of some old people I don't like that much. It is a lovely house (or it will be once I'm done with it) but it feels very different from my old one. I've left an immaculate place which I did up to my taste and moved into a place with woodchip and a pink corner bath (in a very small bathroom).

I'm just worried that I have this amazing garden that I'll never see because I don't want to sit in the aircraft hanger of a conservatory.

Also, just to gripe a bit more, the previous owner was so tall (at least a foot taller than me) that he installed everything up higher. I can't even reach plates on the second shelf of the kitchen wall cupboards. It's very irritating to have to keep getting on a step ladder as there is little other storage. Roll on the summer when a new kitchen will be put in!

OP posts:
Original poster
HackedOffSeller · 11/03/2018 00:06

I think Mulberrybaby has identified the issue here. I hate change with a passion. I think I've got a bit of anxiety going on about everything and it's all so daunting.

As for the suggestion of ripping down the conservatory, it's definitely something I'd like to do in the future if I have the money.

OP posts:
Justaboy · 11/03/2018 00:11

same her moved into a niace big detached place from a small terrace took ages before i liked it here times were when i wished I hadn't moved;!.

Alright now though.

How odd is that?.

GrockleBocs · 11/03/2018 00:13

Every time we've moved I've been through this cycle. The old place was how I wanted it and the new place had so many fixable minor faults. It wasn't home.
And we slowly get things sorted and I become attached to it.

DalekDalekDalek · 11/03/2018 00:18

Has it been empty for long or perhaps the previous owners didn't put the heating on much? It might just be that you need the heating on for a while to get it warm through. My house felt cold when I moved in (even though it was late April) but once the warmth had got into the walls it felt better. A cold house can have a massive affect on how you perceive a place.

It might feel better when you get some clutter in. Whenever I give my kitchen a massive clean the room gets really echo-y and makes it feel unwelcome. Once I get some clutter back on the sides it feels more like home. Blush

Terftastic · 11/03/2018 00:21

Yes, you could replace the conservatory with a proper built on extension, or put proper heating in there.

ALso the weather will be looking up soon....

I do think house-regret is quite common. I had serious misgivings about our house when we moved in- what had seemed idyllic on viewings was in fact a crumbling wreck once all the furnishings were taken out by the vendors.. We had a full survey - but god, it was worse than we had thought. There were rats living in the garden, as an extra treat.

I do in fact love it now (sans rats) - although it is still a bit of a money pit (old house).

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