AIBU to hate my new house?

[HackedOffSeller]

It's taken months to get into my new house and I'm two days in and having serious wobbles. I knew it needed a lot of work but I'm finding that the layout isn't even right. I've got this nice garden but the only rooms overlooking them are a back bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen which is too small for a table and a huge but very cold conservatory. The sellers misled me on the conservatory as they said they used it all year round but I can't see how they did based on how cold it is.

I know it's really early days but I'm really worried that I'm going to basically be stuck in a front living room never really seeing the garden (my last house had the living room at the back). I'm really missing my old house.

Everyone else thinks this house is amazing bit I'm really worried I've bought a dud. Please reassure me that it all gets better!

The boiler is really crap so the house is cold (It's the first thing on the list to do). I'm intending to put loads of my pictures and photos up in the next few days to cover the dodgy decor. Unpacking is slowly being done, but with no storage it's hard to relocate things so they are just being moved from one surface to the next.

I need to remember that I'm in the UK and it is winter still (even though I'm in the South and although not so cold as elsewhere it has been very rainy the last 2 days).

Just for a different perspective, I moved into a house and hated it. DH, my family, all our friends assured me it was time. 9 months later I still couldn’t stand the sight of the place and it was really affecting me. DH relented and we put it back on the market, and bought somewhere else. 2 lots of stamp duty, fees, moving expenses in a year was a killer.. but I am happy now even though this house needs everything doing to it. It’s about a feeling for me.

I felt the same about our house when we bought it 2 years ago. I was heavily pregnant so probably not in the right frame of mind to be making big decisions.

When we got the keys we found out it was a lot worse than we thought, our next door neighbour knocked on the door to warn us that the previous occupant had received an electric shock from the kitchen socket. Then it was just one thing after another. I cried quite a lot over it and how it was a big mistake. We also couldn't move in before the baby was born because there were so many problems so I was stuck at my in laws when I went into labour etc, nightmare.

Now 2 years on, although I don't love the house, I now realise it was a good practical and financial decision. It does feel like home now though and I even said to my husband last week I'll be sad to leave it one day, he was shocked!

I hate our house for approx 1-2 years after we moved in. Like HATED it.

Love It now.

It will be ok honest

I hate conservatories - they’re too cold in winter, too hot in summer, ruin the light getting into the house and are generally just crap.

I’d sell it online or put it up for ‘Free for removal’.

Then I’d get a few builders around to see what it’s possible to do with the layout.

Then sort out how much money you have to spend on it & work out what your priorities are.

It takes quite a bit of money, thought and conscious thought to get a Bungalow not to feel like an old people’s home. I’d start by calling it a single story house 😁

How is your health at the moment? I found it very therapeutic stripping wall paper, removing dado rails and pine cladding.

No, but give it time.

We become more adverse to change as we get older and moving is unsettling.

You'll make the place your own in due course and gradually create where everything goes and relax into it.

It's called buyer's remorse and it is almost always temporary. You will fall in love with it when you put your stamp on it.

Has your Dad had a look at the boiler and radiators?

If not, have you bled them and checked the pressure is ok? It can make a huge difference to how much heat they generate.

Personally, I wouldn’t unpack anything that’s nit essential, I’d strip things out rather than cover them over, but each to their own.

I was never very keen on my last house but found that I felt better about it once we'd got the decorating under way as we'd then put our stamp on it. You may also feel the same, given time.

I have underfloor heating in my conservatory, although it's a separate system (no gas boiler anyway) -it has meant that my conservatory has been well used all winter.

A house never feels like your home with someone else's décor and all your belongings in boxes or cluttering up the rooms. Take heart. I'd get going on the redecorating and wait till it's warmer to make a decision about the conservatory. I might also consider making the back bedroom into your own room and fit French doors if you might spend a lot of time in bed. Good luck with it.

I hated my last house when we moved in, really strong emotional hatred. Now weve moved on again I'm really missing it.

Totally normal for you to feel this way especially as house prices are so ridiculous most people (unless you're v rich) have to buy what they can afford rather than their dream house.

I hated my flat when I moved in. Still not massively keen but I do love living on my own (was in a houseshare before).

I felt the same when we moved to our present house.

I have made the dining room into a snug which overlooks the sunny garden, it has patio doors. Makes a big difference.

Hope you feel more settled soon.

Hey, moving house is a stressful business, even if it were your dream home! All those lists, packing, deadlines, lost & broken bits, cleaning up the old place, not having your special bits around you for a while.

Give yourself (and the new house) a break. You’re likely just a bit exhausted and blue. Once your mind and body have a chance to settle, and you explore your new environs (and neighbourhood) the positive changes will stand out better.

At the moment it’s like being on a first date, but not looking or feeling your best, being tired and grumpy. Of course you’re only seeing the bad qualities, and the hard work ahead. Once you and the house get better acquainted, you’ll be fine.

Congrats on the new place!

I think the problem might be that it isn't your home yet. That could take a while. At the moment you are trying to live in it the way the previous owners did with their room allocations etc, but you aren't them. Your preferences might be completely different. Try and relax a bit, take time to adjust to it. See how it feels in the summer. As it starts to feel like your own place you will see what changes and tweaks you need to make it your own.

We bought a very glamorous new build once. I loved it but always felt like the poor relation squatting there until I made a few changes (breakfast bar, plantation blinds, raised beds in the garden) that made it feel like us.

If it's a bungalow you can really make any room what you want it to be so the layout could completely change, plumbing permitted. Just keep reminding yourself about the stuff you wanted in this house and why you moved (eg bungalows are hard to find so you did well to get one).

I think you need to live somewhere for a year before making big changes, you need to see all the seasons in a house. So just see this year as a year to reflect, save up and be philosophical about it.

I have gas underfloor heating and electric mats in other parts. If the conservatory isn’t too old, you could knock through and make the kitchen and conservatory one room and then you’d have a bigger kitchen giving onto the garden. Underfloor heating isn’t cheap to run and the space just beside the window will be cold. Your dad will have to dig up the floor to get gas underfloor in. So I would only do this if the conservatory is nice. Even at mates rates, it will be very expensive to put in. If you have space on the walls, personally I’d consider radiators and a pair of ugg boots as slippers.

Does he deffo say you can’t put in enough radiators?

Secondly I’d wait until you’ve lived in the house over the summer to see how hot it is and viable as an every day living space.

I echo givemesteel. Rearrange rooms as in what room is for what
In our old old house we did that

Started off with a 1 bed bungalow with 2 lounges and a kind of open hallway/diner and ended with a 3 bed with lounge and conservatory
Current house I have the dining room as a second lounge, I HAVE to be outside/see outside or I feel kinda smothered Dh uses the larger lounge People always ask why me and Dd are always in the smaller room and why when didn’t insist on the larger one blah blah but I just love gazing out at the garden.

your moving now.its a huge change.scary.so your mind is almost in fight or flight and picking out all the what ifs and what might be wrong possible threats etc.your moving so your doubting which bring s in the worry monster who invents more problems and who sees everything "worse" or "different bad" to how you have things.
you have your comfoy slippers when you get new ones they just don't fit.within weeks they fit too though.so you have your new house.it feels not yours yet.its soul-less right now but only because your not in it makig it your own living in every room seeking its places.
when you first came to this house you wont remember it but it would have felt the same.
the other problem with worry though is it puts a big smoggy wall up in front of your face which stops you from thinking anything but the bad stuff.your mixed.confused.cant work out what the rooms might be lkike or how you can make it good because ur head is just filled with 'smoggy stuff'
get there and start thinking how can I make this great!not how might be this bad! how can I make a comfy spot in the conservatory,not how it will never feel cosy in hear. how to fix the boiler not how cold it is.
spin all the thought on their ass and make plans to make this your new home.how exciting.
its ok to be frightened,worried.not adaptable to changes. your not alone in finding change hard.but it wont stop it from happening.
you can do this.dont skip back to "oh this looked better in old lounge" "this photo looked better on old wall" but find the beauty in the new.in how they could be now.
you can do this.go interior design on it ass and have fun with it!
could you put some nice rugs down in the meantime,or thick curtains.
if there is the only one room to see the garden is there a space in that room to put a simple stool or chair option.
go for a walk.explore your new area.think of colour options for walls.get clean sheets on your bed.light a lovely scented candles.cook your favourite meal and get boxsets downloading.its gonna be great.

If the kitchen is small, could you put stuff like freezer, tumble drier vacuum, ironing board, get some nice storage units, shoe rack etc in the conservatory and use it more as a storage type area, I don't think you mentioned a utility room in your house. Then you could just put some wicker chairs in there for the warmer months.

The previous owners may well have used it all year round. Perhaps they didn’t mind the cold. Presumably you saw it during a colder month, unless you’ve owned it for a 6 months+

They probably did use the conservatory all year round. We do, it is cold, but our entire house is cold. When guests come we ramp the heat up for them or they complain, but it makes us uncomfortably hot. Not everyone like a warm house.

Use throws or blankets on the chairs.

I suspect your bigger problem will be how hot the the conservatory gets in summer. If it doesn't currently have blinds start saving for some. At times ours is unuseable.

Actually, even MaryPoppinsPenguins's experience is not entirely bad news. It's a reminder that if you don't warm to the place you don't have to live in it for ever. If you've done the right sort of improvements to it in the meanwhile you might even turn a small profit, or more likely just cover the extra expense of moving again.

Someone one told me that it takes three months to settle into a new place, to establish routines and feel at home.

At the minute everything is new and uncomfortable for you. You're having to actively think where to go to get a cup of tea, to pee, to sit and rest. That's going to be overwhelming on a sensory level. It's no wonder you hate it.

When I moved into our current house I spent the first night crying that I hated it and I wanted to go 'home'. My husband told me to put my big girl pants on and get on with it and it was the best thing he could have said. I couldn't go home, I had to make the best of things. Three years on I love our new home, but it definitely took me some time to get here.

Also I'm a huge fan of electrical underfloor heating. I put it my new kitchen and it rocks. It's also about a third of the price of water systems.