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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have cancelled tomorrow mornings driving lesson?

62 replies

MartagonLilies · 10/03/2018 19:21

The instructor is not happy with me, in fact he's really quite cross, so I wanted to check on here if AIBU, and if so, what do I do?

I had a lesson yesterday, a 6 hour one (intense). I also had one for the same length of time tomorrow, starting at 11.30am.
When I finished yesterdays lesson, the instructor (instructor 1) and I discussed briefly the lesson we'd just done, and what we'll be doing on Sunday's lesson.

Around 2pm today, I logged onto FB, to find a message from instructor 1 saying that he'd had to go and visit family (reason is new niece/ nephew)
He told me that he'd been in touch with a fellow instructor (instructor 2) that was a friend of his, and that instructor 2 will be doing my lesson tomorrow. He gave me contact details for instructor 2, and told me to get in touch with him. He then told me to let him (instructor 1) know when I've paid the lesson from yesterday into his bank.

I was slightly put out, however I messaged instructor 2. He said he'll do the lesson tomorrow, however it'll be 3 hours earlier (8.30am) and for 3 hours less than planned. He told me his fee, which is more expensive per hour than instructor 1, although obviously cheaper overall as it's a shorter lesson.

I thought about it for a while, and I really wasn't happy with any of it. I contacted instructor 2 again, and cancelled the lesson for tomorrow. I apologised, explained that it was all a bit up in the air for me, thanked him for offering his time, and was generally polite and apologetic.

He was not happy at all. He said that he'll be telling instructor 1, and that he had moved his whole morning to accommodate me. I apologised again, thanked him again, and then again apologised for any inconvenience this had caused him.
He then replied asking me if the reason I was really cancelling was because I'd have to be up early in the morning.
I told him that I have multiple children, and was always up hours before 8.30am, and it wasn't anything to do with the time.
He then message me 'OK, good luck with your driving in the future...'

If you've sat through all the 'I said, he said' thank you. My question is WIBU to have cancelled my lesson for tomorrow? I felt like I was OK to, however I do feel bad that instructor 2 feels unhappy about it. I'm not pleased with his rudeness, though is he justified?
Also, Im not at all happy with instructor 1, obviously.

OP posts:
Domino20 · 10/03/2018 19:25

No. YANBU. That wasn't what was booked or arranged and as the customer you've every right to refuse the new and unsuitable arrangements!

strawberrysparkle · 10/03/2018 19:25

Your the one that's been messed about here, don't feel bad!!

It was unfair to think that they could change the price, fine and length of your lesson and you would be fine about it!!!

Newnaime · 10/03/2018 19:26

Instructor 1 cancelled your lesson, instructor 2 offered a lesson that wasn't appropriate for you and you quite rightly respectfully declined. I would have suggested Instructor 2 took lessons on how not to be such a butterfly.
YANBU

Quartz2208 · 10/03/2018 19:28

i would be fuming at them cancelling it in such short notice

GinaLinetti99 · 10/03/2018 19:29

Nope, YANBU. You have hired instructor 1 and therefore you shouldn't have to accept lessons with any other instructor without prior agreement. Personally, I'd get rid of instructor 1 too for unprofessional conduct.

Sparklingbrook · 10/03/2018 19:30

I would be ditching both instructors TBH.

Allthewaves · 10/03/2018 19:33

Not at all. Instructor 1 should have rang you before changing u to instructor 2

TheChineseChicken · 10/03/2018 19:35

Shock YANBU

ozymandiusking · 10/03/2018 19:39

Are you saying you had a lesson lasting 6 hours? Is it normal these days to have lessons so long?
Sorry this is slightly off the original question, and no I think the instructor was unreasonable.

agentdaisy · 10/03/2018 19:39

You were not being unreasonable at all. You'd booked a 6 hour lesson to begin at 11.30 costing £x per hour but they were expecting you to be fine with a 3 hour lesson starting at 8.30 costing £y per hour with less than 24 hours notice.

You're the one being messed around. For all they know you can't afford the higher price per hour and may have had no childcare or been working at the earlier start time. The second instructor was just plain rude.

Winchester13 · 10/03/2018 19:41

Na I wouldn’t feel bad at all! It’s you that’s been messed around ! By both of them x

Elzee · 10/03/2018 19:41

Sorry. A SIX HOUR driving lesson? Shock

What the actual fuck?!

ButtMuncher · 10/03/2018 19:41

You are not being unreasonable at all. You have a scheduled lesson, if the instructor can't make that time at that price, then you are well within your rights to say 'thanks for trying to accommodate, but no thanks'.

HidingFromTheWorld · 10/03/2018 19:42

Instructor 1 should have made contact with you directly seeking your decision as to whether you wished to undertake tomorrow’s tuition with a different instructor. You were under no obligation to agree to do so.

I’d look elsewhere to be honest, as it’s unprofessional for instructor 2 to behave in this way, as is instructor 1 passing you to an acquaintance without your permission.

I wouldn’t be able to work with the original instructor now, but only you can tell how you’ll feel about it.

Best of luck.

LexieLulu · 10/03/2018 19:44

You've been messed around! YANBU!!!

agentdaisy · 10/03/2018 19:44

@ozymandiusking some instructors offer intensive driving courses where you have 6 hour lessons every day for a week/every other day for two weeks instead of an hour or two a week for months. Some people learn to drive better this way.

Op I'd be doing as sparkling says and ditching your original instructor for dropping this on you.

HidingFromTheWorld · 10/03/2018 19:48

Elzee - Intensive driving lessons usually consist of a week’s tuition lasting 4-6 hours per day, due to a desire to undertake a test sooner rather than later.

I’m not a fan of that method of learning personally, but it works for some.

PatchworkElmer · 10/03/2018 19:51

YANBU. At all.

MagnifyingGlassSearch · 10/03/2018 20:00

ditch both

Crinkle77 · 10/03/2018 20:01

I too want to know why you're driving lessons are so long.

whiteroseredrose · 10/03/2018 20:05

YANBU.

Original poster
MartagonLilies · 10/03/2018 20:05

Seems MN thinks IANBU. Phew! I was really Confused for a moment, as instructor 2 was so annoyed with me.

Yes, I had an intense driving course. I only had the 2 days to go, yesterday and tomorrow. My test is booked for in 2 weeks time, and I'd been trying to fit in the last bits of polishing up I needed. Was the only time to fit it in really.
Extra annoyed because I feel I should cancel my test now, I don't think I'll pass it.
I needed to cancel tomorrow, as I felt I'd spend much of the time showing instructor 2 what I can and can't do, and I'd done all that yesterday for the first hour or so. Once I'd done it all again tomorrow, that times wasted, and I'd have less time to practise where I needed to, for more money.

OP posts:
EduCated · 10/03/2018 20:23

YANBU at all. Your instructor was the one who cancelled the lesson, not you - offering a lesson with a different instructor, at a different time, for a different duration and at a different price isn’t doing you a favour!

BackforGood · 10/03/2018 20:46

Agree with everyone else. YANBU, and, tbh, if you do feel you need to cancel your test, you should be reclaiming the costs you incur from Instructor 1.
Going to visit a new nephew / niece is hardly and emergency. People can't just drop out of work commitments because they have become an Uncle Hmm.
You could say it was nice of him to try to offer an alternative, but the alternative wasn't suitable for you, so, in truth, it wasn't really an alternative for you. As for Instructor 2, he was daft to rarrange things before checking with you if the arrangements wold work for you. He wasn't really doing you a favour, he was getting 3 hours extra work that he didn't have before- if you had wanted to (and, as you say, it wouldn't rally have been that much use to you, so that became irrelevant).

Ginger1982 · 10/03/2018 21:13

I think instructor 1 reason for cancelling is pretty poor. Has to visit family for new child? Seems a bit off to me.

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