To be raging with DH

[SchoolMoney]

Will try not to ramble on or drip feed.
DS is 8 months old. I am vegetarian and DH is not. DS is being raised vegetarian until he says he wants otherwise/wants to try something and I'm fine with that.

I do all of the care for DS. Everything. We were invited to a good friends sons christening today. DH has dicked about for weeks about us going because of the rugby. He might go to the match, he might go to the pub, he might watch it at home, doesn't want to risk missing it. He said he was staying at home so DS was staying with him. I said this morning when DH was going to the shops if it was easier for him to pick up a packet of DS for lunch and dinner to do so, otherwise there was food in he could make. He told me he HAD to go since I hadn't bothered preparing anything.

He came home with 5 food options, 2 meat. I said I didn't have time to go into it and didn't want an argument but DO NOT give him the meat and we would talk about it later. He messaged me to say he tried to feed DS meat and I should get home because I was being cruel being out.

AIBU in thinking when I am out for 5 hours by myself he should be able to care for DS and not go against my one request just to spite me/to prove he could. I said we would talk about it this evening but it seems like the first chance he had he went against me. To be clear, the meat bit annoys me but I'm raging at the deliberately going against what I asked rather than talk first.

I agree that the veggie bit has derailed the thread.

Your husband is controlling and passive aggressive. A nasty, nasty type.

He sounds like a selfish git

Why doesn't he know anything about babies? He has one - he should be the expert!

Most meat eaters don’t understand how disgusting meat is to people like me. I’m not doing this for my own health reasons. It’s an ethical choice. Most people who eat meat would never dream of killing a dog and eating it and this makes them huge fucking hypocrites in my eyes.

Congratulations on your self-serving, morally superior, ethical choice. Gold star for you!!
It must be really difficult being so angered by other people's choices. On the flip side, I'm a meat eater and don't really care that you find it disgusting...

Op, this isn't about being vegetarian, it's about you DH being a useless shit.

Once again, this isn't about meat. It's about control. The OP's DH used the meat to control the OP. To bring her home. To punish her for going out

Crikey, this isn't about the meat, but it seems some omnivores are only picking up on that.

He told her she was cruel for being out. I mean wtf! He tried to feed him meat, so I'm guessing that the DS didn't want to eat what his father was trying to feed him. Not so DH was controlling, not the OP. Why would any normal human being tell the other parent that by the very act of being out they were cruel?!

Raising a child vegetarian until s/he makes a decision for themselves re meat seems an absolutely reasonable way to go about a child's diet. Parents make decisions about children's diets when they are young, vegetarianism is not a bad decision. Most parents don't want their children eating sweets or processed foods or peanuts (just in case) or any number of foodstuffs that for their reasons they don't want the children to eat, but will allow the child to make their own decisions when they are old enough to decide for themselves.

tl;dr. Op's DH is a man baby who needs to grow the fuck up, stop being a petulant child, and learn how to be a supportive parent.

Both parents have parental responsibility, which mean they both have a say in things like education. Your DH cannot just decide where DS is going to school with no discussion. I predict a bumpy road, this man is controlling.

This isn't really how families work. He can't just abdicate caring for his own child simply because he's never had a baby before. Millions of people have never had a baby until their first one.

A vegetarian diet is not just about vegetables. Could the dad not boil some eggs or make an omelette or chop up some cheese? Or are these not allowed along with the animal that produces them?

Goodness, I hope this kid is getting enough protein.

Goodness, I hope this kid is getting enough protein.

Have you ever heard of the term 'veganism'? It's quite different from vegetarianism. They are separate things.

I think it boils down to what you agreed before today. Did DH agree to leave it til he asks? Or was that your view?

If he's gone back on what he agreed that's out of order.

Your DH sounds like an absolute twat.

The vegetarian thing is irrelevant. He knew the agreement (and has seemingly agreed), purposely bought meat when out because you didn't prepare anything, purposely fed your DS meat then told you about it, told you you needed to get home because you had been out for hours (shock bloody horror), refused to attend an occasion for the fucking rugby. Yes, real prize dad there.

Lol at the predictable protein comment.

It seems you have some big DH issues - I think you could probably do with some couples counselling tbh. Only he might it's refuse to go back once it's exposed how controlling yet useless he is...

It's just struck me that unless your husband is French he had a shit rugby watching afternoon. Oh dear, what a shame. 😅

ravenesque we're Irish and both explayers....in that way it worked out quite well but still.

Most meat eaters don’t understand how disgusting meat is to people like me. I’m not doing this for my own health reasons. It’s an ethical choice. Most people who eat meat would never dream of killing a dog and eating it and this makes them huge fucking hypocrites in my eyes i

if you feel that strongly about it why would you ever marry and have children with a meat eater?

I don't eat meat, but didn't want to impose my dietary restriction on my children, so I raised them as omnivores. If they later wanted to become veggie or vegan, then that would be their choice. They all still eat meat.

I agree with the others, this is about controlling you. What do you mean, he doesn't know about babies? He's had one for 8 months!

I don't think he's a good man to be married to. I believe this is just the start of an abusive and controlling relationship. It often starts after the first baby is born.

You need to get him to start parenting your child.

I agree with some pp's, the meat issue is a red herring. He gave your ds meat as you had not done as he wanted. You went out, did not pre prepare food for him and this was his way of punishing you. He sounds rather nasty.

He know nothing about babies?

Well isn't it about time he learned? Given that he is now a father. Neither me or my DH knew a thing about babies when we had ours. Neither of us had even changed a nappy. But we learned. That's what parenting is. He needs to play his part!