To tell DH not to bother

[Chocywockydodahhhhhh]

Mother’s Day
I have sorted my mum and DHs Mum, got cards and presents from us and from DS as well.
DH told me this morning he is taking DS to asda (he always leaves stuff till the last minute). DS has come down with a temp and is led on the sofa, I am in the kitchen and I heard DH say to DS we will go tomorrow and Mummy will just have to wait for her present till the afternoon and if you are still feeling poorly then daddy will choose something for you.

I just feel like saying don’t bother if you couldn’t get organised.

OP, yanbu! It's not about demanding gifts, or spending money or the size- it's the thought. My best presents have often been cheap but someone cared enough to think about me for a bit. DH was similar, I'm going to sound like an ungrateful madam now as he does try more. But, he didn't hear me! So he goes huffing into town with a child and makes a show of buying big. Then I generally get moodiness and nastiness with it. I talked to him about thought not price , and for some reason he heard I want expensive crap now! I would rather a little gift and a caring husband now.

I don't really understand how a present bought early means more than a present bought just before the date. If the same amount of time is spent planning and buying does it matter when it was bought?

I'm not seeing my mum tomorrow as my parents are spending the weekend with my brother and his family but I will see her in a few weeks. Me having her present today doesn't mean any more than if I buy it in a few days (as I knew I wouldn't see her on Mother's day) and as it is a short-life item, getting it as late as possible is better.

Maybe your DH could have bought it a few days ago but does it mean less if he buys it today? It is the time spent thinking that matters not when the gift is bought.

YANBU and the people saying that you should be happy with anything are missing the point. I do handmade cards and sometimes personalised gifts or something DH will love becuse it reminds him of the kids with my children. I think people are quick to excuse his lack of thought becuse he is male and they are generally less thoughtful. If you have a young child then hopefully he will give u a lie in and bring u up some breakfast in bed. In reverse circumstances if DC was feeling better I would make a card with them that morning and learn my lesson about planning ahead for next year!!

First of all, stop doing his business, i.e. taking care of his Mum. WTF?
I refuse to martyr myself. DH's family should be his priority. I will give a reminder but anything beyond that, I refuse to care.
I saw most men Mother's Day shopping today so you are BU in that. As for other stuff - if he fails you or DS, tell him you're disappointed. If it's his family, why don't you adopt the not your monkeys, not your circus attitude? You are not responsible for your DH, you're not his mother.

High five to clandestino. I refuse to care, that’s my motto

I love that - not my monkeys, not my circus. I wouldn't be buying anything for his DM. If he has form for being a last minute present buyer then I guess you are BU for expecting anything different from the norm; but not BU for getting irritated by it. I'd have told him not to worry (without giving him a guilt trip) as opposed to not to bother.
What happened yesterday?
If DS was poorly I would suggest deferring celebrating mothers day and having a lovely meal out together next weekend.

I didnt organise my DH for his mother and she's still waiting.

What really annoyed me was we agreed to postpone Mother's Day because he said the kids weren't organised, no biggy because they're working hard in school and uni. Subsequently I found out all my kids were organised and DH wasn't and that's why he wanted it postponed. I'm ready to fecking kill him now.