After working every day of my adult life, I found myself disabled and unemployed just over a year ago. I hate being on benefits, and other people’s attitudes towards it make me feel like utter shit a lot of the time.
Someone said to me the other day, with a tinkly little laugh (to obviously show she was “joking”) that they’re clearly paying me too much as I’m going on holiday twice this year. They are both Sun £9.50 holidays - one in the UK and one in Europe - and, including the ferry to the European one, have cost a total of £250. I don’t smoke, I rarely drink, and don’t have an expensive Sky tv package, so have saved to go away.
Another comment was made, by someone else, about the fact I have a cleaner come in for an hour a week (at a cost of £10), just to change two beds and do the little bits I just can’t reach or manage. Apparently this is something everyone wishes they could afford and I’m lucky the government pay me enough. It was a heart wrenching decision to get someone in as I hate hate hate not being able to cope, but I get PIP for daily living needs and intend to use it to make my life easier. Funnily enough, I don’t feel particularly “lucky” to be disabled enough that I can’t even change a fucking bed!
I had someone tell me that, as she sees me on the park a couple of times a week with my dog, that I’m obviously well enough to work if I can get out walking. The park is 200 yards from my house, I was sat on the first available bench, with my walking stick clearly visible and the reason she only sees me a couple of times a week is because many days I can’t bloody walk that far. I’ve cried over the fact my dog really doesn’t get walked enough, and have considered whether she would be better off with someone more able bodied, but she’s getting on a bit and seems happy enough, plus it forces me to try and get out when I can.
People are incredibly quick to judge and I feel like people who should know me better are scrutinising my every move. It’s demoralising enough having to claim benefits without having every little thing judged by some busybody.
Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant, but it’s a sore point with me at the minute!