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Original poster

Help bf has been accused of being racist

146 replies

WorriedAndConfusedHelp · 09/03/2018 12:14

I have NC for this. I don’t even know if this is legal. I will try to keep it short. I don’t even know the full facts yet, just from a five minute phone call. My boyfriend has been accused of being racist. A manger of his called him into a meeting this morning about comments he left on his PERSONAL Facebook page (told him to get rid of Facebook as it’s nothing but trouble but he likes it so whatever). It is set to private so I think someone from his work has done this on purpose as sabotage. He had left a comment regarding a park by us that has just had caravans occupied by travellers moved on and he commented that the park was left looking like a bomb made out of shit exploded over it. That was IT. He was told he had to sign some sort of disciplinary form admitting he was wrong for making racist comments (not too sure about that part will have to ask later). He refused and has told me he might lose his job because he refused. Is that even actually allowed?From comments on a private face book page? I don’t even think it’s a horrible comment to make, he didn’t say anything about travellers just at the state of the park which DID look an absolute mess for days afterwards and still does a little bit. I am absolutely fuming not with him but with his workplace and the little spy that alerted management. What to do?

OP posts:
Custardo · 10/03/2018 13:18

there are some people on mumsnet who have nothing better to do than put together facts from your life - figure out where you live and work etc - you should always guard your privacy.

i have been in a situation wherre a 'friend' of someone i managed - on facebook printed off a discussion thread where that person said something about 'the meeting was shit yesterday' the person who reported also worked at the same place. as they has where they worked on their profile and there was the possibility that her friends could screenshot it and share it - it was a disciplinary matter.

you should never friend anyone from work imo - and if you do change your profile pic - and change your name to something of a 'handle' rather than your own name. so that if you are brought into hr cos some 'friend' grassed you up - you can say - thats not me - who the fuck is custardo anyway?

i have also been involved in an incident where someone was sacked and reported to the police as he was arranging to meet an underage girl and his workmates grassed him up

Custardo · 10/03/2018 13:20

in the ops case - he was dumb to sign anything. he should have requested a copy of the disciplinary policy and had the time to think things through, get a representative to accompany him.

now its pointless

Personwithhorse · 10/03/2018 13:21

Since when has telling the truth been ‘racist’? I would fight the company saying this it is unreasonable.

LemonysSnicket · 10/03/2018 13:21

A) social media is never private - as a journalist I can tell you we use FB to find EVERYTHING out about a person ... so much is revealed and his workplace has a right to know what their employees are saying on a public forum ( and it’s public even if set to private).

B) not sure it’s racist but clearly his work thinks so, as such he should sign the form, it’s a civil matter so is legal.

JunHR · 10/03/2018 13:26

Personwithhorse truth is matter of perspective, people think it true that gays are wrong, trans women are not women and Muslins are terrorists.

But they are wrong and should be fired for posting that kinda stuff.

AllisLost · 10/03/2018 13:54

ShotsFired Fri 09-Mar-18 12:28:58
I recently reported someone to their workplace (I didn't know them) because they made written threats of violence about other people they would come into daily contact with in their job, along with some lesser, but equally moronic, aggressive keyboard warrior stuff

And yet you have used the word "moronic" which many would find disablist. Would you now be happy to have your employment record ruined, go through the stress of a disciplinary for a comment typed in a hurry on a discussion forum?

We are at the point now where people can lose livelihoods over comments they make or words they use, whilst others delight in reporting friends and colleagues for "offences" as it makes them feel virtuous.

Beware of the environment and culture that you create - in the end it will get you too as anyone who has either studied or, God help them, lived under, an oppressive regime knows.

I have been called both racist and sexist many times on here. I am neither but I will stand up to bullying and those who revel in a witchhunt.

AllisLost · 10/03/2018 14:05

Lovesagin
We had someone report an employee where I worked for sharing ukip posts. He was given a heads up to remove the company name from his profile and that was it.

And yet UKIP is a legitimate political party. What about Sinn Fein? Or Labour (anti-semitism) or a pro-Brexit post, or several others I could mention? What is acceptable now?

Ideally don't have your workplace linked with your personal posts but that may not save you.

Biker47 · 10/03/2018 14:12

Nothing racist about saying that somewhere has been left a shit tip.

Nkhutch · 10/03/2018 14:13

I personally can't see why it is racist he has not directly mentioned the travellers in the comment. I've made comments that I would consider worse but I'm far from racist!! I'm not being funny if he actually went to the travellers and said that comment to them they would probably laugh at him anyway so long as he didn't say it in a hostile way x

JunHR · 10/03/2018 14:15

UKIP, Britain First and the likes are not legitimate, if people are retweeting or sharing their hate posts they should be let go.

Really people sharing Britain First should be arrested like the leaders of the political party.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 10/03/2018 14:27

We all have to be very very careful . The internet is relatively new and I don’t even realise how data there is out there about me

Between the super nets they know what I like , what I am scared of , what morbidly fascinates me and what I buy
And every single health twinge !

Especially here actually as we think we are anonymous - but if push came to shove we are all traceable

I see some posts and really wince at how open people are , and how open I used to be

Off to download Tor Grin

Not really - am too scared of what I would see there

LIZS · 10/03/2018 14:34

Has he taken the comment down?

Original poster
WorriedAndConfusedHelp · 10/03/2018 19:13

Hey. Thanks for replies. I have since seen the message and confirm it was I just what I said in my OP. I asked him if he posted anything else other than that and he said no. But I got one thing wrong and it was an comment on an article via his Facebook he told me so maybe it was public. BUT I still think he didn’t do anything wrong. He’s not the type to raise anything but I don’t want him getting walked over and made to be something he isn’t and still want to go and speak to his manager over this on monday, it’s ridiculous. But yes I accept that it was now a public comment not on his own face book but it wasn’t a horrible comment imo not racist and just truthful

OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedAndConfusedHelp · 10/03/2018 19:15

And yes the comment is down now.

(NC back)

OP posts:
StrangeLookingParasite · 11/03/2018 02:31

And yes most of the stuff posted about trans women on mumsnet is transphoic and would be a fireable offense.

No it isn't, and no it wouldn't be. Hmm

AcrossthePond55 · 11/03/2018 12:42

and still want to go and speak to his manager over this on monday, it’s ridiculous.

You aren't going to though, are you? That would be the height of impropriety and if the comment didn't cost him his job then his girlfriend coming in to give her ha'penny worth to the boss just might!

BibbityBobbityBollocks · 11/03/2018 13:06

You cannot be serious about marching in and demanding to speak to his bossShock.
You're his girlfriend not his mum
If he needs representation he should speak to a union rep or employment lawyer.
I'd be mortified if my OH marched into my workBlush

Original poster
WorriedAndConfusedHelp · 11/03/2018 22:42

I was still planning tomorrow to confront his manager after he finishes work and have a strong word or two with him but maybe not after reading some of these responses? Confused He signed the form now anyway I don’t know if that can be undone legally. I just find it very unfair to be pinted our to be something that he isn’t. And for it to be on a record as “official”

OP posts:
Eltonjohnssyrup · 12/03/2018 00:59

UKIP, Britain First and the likes are not legitimate

UKIP are completely legitimate. Britain First’s leaders have been jailed for race hate crimes, so they are not.

Personwithhorse · 12/03/2018 04:13

On another thread there has been more massive abused of girls in Telford over many years, this seems to be covered up. Again.

And this is about someone’s comment which large sections of the population agree with - which is worse - thought crime or actual abuse?

Dancinggoat · 12/03/2018 04:44

You never mention work in any form on social media.
It's as simple as that and to be honest quite obvious.

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