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Original poster

Help bf has been accused of being racist

146 replies

WorriedAndConfusedHelp · 09/03/2018 12:14

I have NC for this. I don’t even know if this is legal. I will try to keep it short. I don’t even know the full facts yet, just from a five minute phone call. My boyfriend has been accused of being racist. A manger of his called him into a meeting this morning about comments he left on his PERSONAL Facebook page (told him to get rid of Facebook as it’s nothing but trouble but he likes it so whatever). It is set to private so I think someone from his work has done this on purpose as sabotage. He had left a comment regarding a park by us that has just had caravans occupied by travellers moved on and he commented that the park was left looking like a bomb made out of shit exploded over it. That was IT. He was told he had to sign some sort of disciplinary form admitting he was wrong for making racist comments (not too sure about that part will have to ask later). He refused and has told me he might lose his job because he refused. Is that even actually allowed?From comments on a private face book page? I don’t even think it’s a horrible comment to make, he didn’t say anything about travellers just at the state of the park which DID look an absolute mess for days afterwards and still does a little bit. I am absolutely fuming not with him but with his workplace and the little spy that alerted management. What to do?

OP posts:
TonTonMacoute · 09/03/2018 13:36

There was a MNer last year who ended up in a disciplinary hearing at work for disablist language, because of a garden centre shopping list she had left on her desk.

I shudder to think how much time, money, and other scarce resources are wasted on cases which turn out to be perfectly innocent.

It causes huge amounts of stress for people, and I’m guessing it doesn’t reduce the number of racists by one iota.

Sanderz · 09/03/2018 13:37

Put it behind you and move on.

blueskyinmarch · 09/03/2018 13:38

Tonton. Did that thread not turn out to be a troll?

mygoditsfullofstars · 09/03/2018 13:38

Wow, Big Brother is alive and well! How can someone be called racist about comments where they don't actually mention race and on their own private FB? Nuts!

InsomniacAnonymous · 09/03/2018 13:38

"There was a MNer last year who ended up in a disciplinary hearing at work for disablist language, because of a garden centre shopping list she had left on her desk."

Shock How come?

mikeyssister · 09/03/2018 13:42

@AcrossthePond55 what is wrong with saying "These people left the City Park looking..." if they did? Is that not a statement of fact that they are the people?

Berryjuicer · 09/03/2018 13:42

I really don't understand the people on here that say they reported someones comments to their employers.

Me neither, what does it achieve - they become unemployable and have to live off your taxes, meaning less for people who genuinely need government help. Add into the bargain they'll be bitter and resentful and that causes more social problems.

If you disagree with someone's thoughts better to have a dialogue with them and maybe eventually they'll see the error of their ways and we'll all be better off.

Lovesagin · 09/03/2018 13:43

Unless he has his company name on his profile, the company would be way overreacting to such a comment if they sack him, I'm not even sure if it's an overreaction for them to get involved at all tbh. A reminder that what goes on Facebook may be seen by everyone might be in order but imo that's all this warrants.

If he has a good career record with them, no previous issues etc, then I'd tell him to seek legal advice if they do discipline him.

Allthebestnamesareused · 09/03/2018 13:47

If the OP has not seen the actual post I suspect her boyfriend has been economical with the truth. I also fail to understand why he would not take the post down when asked.

PansyGiraffe · 09/03/2018 13:48

Whether he has unfair dismissal rights will depend on how long he’s been working for them for a start. Less than two years - they can easily dismiss if they choose to do so.

He needs to be honest about precisely what the comment was. I am very surprised if a truly straightforward factual statement that the park was left in a mess (if it was) would lead to this. If on the other hand it was something about how they always leave sites in a state, or if he used derogatory language... I think you’ve got to demand the truth. If he hasn’t taken it down yet, he should do so (after taking a screen shot if needed) so at least it may give him some hope of a defence if needed.

He needs to check his employer’s social media policy (what does it say about personal use, and monitoring?) and whether his posting can be traced back to his employer in any way - does he say where he works on Facebook? Does he have his work photo, or such an uncommon name it’s easy to link the two? Did he use his work computer or smart phone to post it, or do so in work time? The fact that it may have been on a private Facebook page is entirely irrelevant - someone’s seen it, and if the employer thinks it is dangerous to their reputation then yes they can pursue this.

Bloomed · 09/03/2018 13:49

Do you know what he said exactly?

TonTonMacoute · 09/03/2018 13:55

@blueskyinmarch

Not as far as I am aware, but I don’t know. I followed it until after the actual meeting with HR, with her boss, and don’t know what happened after that.

Graphista · 09/03/2018 14:02

So you've not seen the actual post AND your bf presumably knows you don't use Facebook. Yea I'm thinking his comment was worse than he's claiming.

Also shocked at the disingenuous racists nonsense by some posters on this thread!

Eg "those people" is just a sneaky way of being racist and thinking it's not obvious. If it's clear to your audience which people you're talking about and they belong to a legally defined group described as a race... You're DEFINITELY being racist.

Chaotica · 09/03/2018 14:03

Eliza9917 Yes and Yes. Satisfied? Don't be so presumptious.

MagneticMan · 09/03/2018 14:03

If the OP has not seen the actual post I suspect her boyfriend has been economical with the truth.

Exactly.

The boyfriend knows OP doesn't approve of FB and has tried to persuade him to delete his account in the past. I think it's highly unlikely he'd admit to using any kind of racist language (pikey or gyppo for example) and would seek to minimise what he'd written.

I also doubt the comment was made on his own profile, it was likely on a public page or on one of his friends' pages so the privacy controls were out of his control.

LauraRashley · 09/03/2018 14:06

What makes travellers a separate race?

SoupDragon · 09/03/2018 14:08

"City Park looks like a shit bomb exploded on it", not racist
"Those people left City Park looking etc etc", could be interpreted as racist.

Unless he used some nasty term instead of the “those people” in your second example or followed it with “fucking p####s” then that’s not racist either. I would say he probably did use some kind of phrasing like that and that’s why he’s signed the form.

EastDulwichWife · 09/03/2018 14:10

I very much doubt that was the extent of his post.

PaddyF0dder · 09/03/2018 14:11

Tough shit.

We all need to be mindful of what we put online, particularly with our name beside it. Facebook is a public forum. Frankly I think there should be greater online accountability.

TerranceandPhilip · 09/03/2018 14:11

I recently reported someone to their workplace (I didn't know them) because they made written threats of violence about other people they would come into daily contact with in their job, along with some lesser, but equally moronic, aggressive keyboard warrior stuff

Why the fuck would you do that? What is wrong with people?

I swear some on mumsnet would love a British version of the stasi

ReanimatedSGB · 09/03/2018 14:12

I have nothing but contempt for anyone who would report a stranger to their employers for expressing their personal opinion on their personal FB page. It's extremely worrying that so many individuals think they are entitled to police others to this extent.

LeighaJ · 09/03/2018 14:13

Only in this utterly overly PC world would that be construed as racist. 😒 If he hasn't already he needs to delete the Facebook account and any other social media accounts he has.

He made the right move in refusing to sign something saying his comment was racist.

As someone else said he should contact a solicitor who specialises in employment law unless he's in a union then might be worth contacting them first.

TerranceandPhilip · 09/03/2018 14:13

We all need to be mindful of what we put online, particularly with our name beside it. Facebook is a public forum. Frankly I think there should be greater online accountability

Lovely. Change your username to your real name then? Don't forget to put your employer on there as well.

Accountability is important right? Hmm

Chaotica · 09/03/2018 14:14

TerranceandPhilip isn't it obvious? If you make threats against people online and you have to deal with them fairly in your job, you are not suitable to do the job.

ilovesooty · 09/03/2018 14:16

To those who questioned (politely or rudely) what I did, I don't think people who make openly disablist comments then refuse to engage in any dialogue about what they said are fit to be customer facing employees in the National Health.
The three of us who reported received very prompt responses stating that they were planning training around the issue.