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Original poster

Help bf has been accused of being racist

146 replies

WorriedAndConfusedHelp · 09/03/2018 12:14

I have NC for this. I don’t even know if this is legal. I will try to keep it short. I don’t even know the full facts yet, just from a five minute phone call. My boyfriend has been accused of being racist. A manger of his called him into a meeting this morning about comments he left on his PERSONAL Facebook page (told him to get rid of Facebook as it’s nothing but trouble but he likes it so whatever). It is set to private so I think someone from his work has done this on purpose as sabotage. He had left a comment regarding a park by us that has just had caravans occupied by travellers moved on and he commented that the park was left looking like a bomb made out of shit exploded over it. That was IT. He was told he had to sign some sort of disciplinary form admitting he was wrong for making racist comments (not too sure about that part will have to ask later). He refused and has told me he might lose his job because he refused. Is that even actually allowed?From comments on a private face book page? I don’t even think it’s a horrible comment to make, he didn’t say anything about travellers just at the state of the park which DID look an absolute mess for days afterwards and still does a little bit. I am absolutely fuming not with him but with his workplace and the little spy that alerted management. What to do?

OP posts:
Riverside2 · 09/03/2018 12:46

so I'm guessing his Facebook page has his real name and possibly his employer listed?

even if employer not listed, a photo and a real name easily links him to his company so he probably can be accused of something. Why people link their social media to their company or full name is a mystery to me.

Afternooncatnap · 09/03/2018 12:46

I don't think travelers are classed a a race and so your can't be racist against them. I'm pretty sure it was I'm court recently. I might be wrong.

ilovesooty · 09/03/2018 12:50

I reported someone to their employer for a disablist comment on a discussion thread on Facebook recently. I know that several other people reported the comment as well. The person had an open profile clearly stating their employer and if they were disciplined for their appalling comment it's fully deserved in my opinion.

I'm beginning to think there might be more to what he posted than he's told you.

Chrys2017 · 09/03/2018 12:51

Romany Gypsies and Irish Travellers as classified as "ethnic groups" so it is possible to make "racist" comments about them. Other types of travellers are not.

ivehadtonamechangeforthis · 09/03/2018 12:54

I don't think what he said is racist. It is a reoccurring problem in semi- rural or rural areas. I live in the countryside and have repeatedly seen fields littered with everything from discarded furniture to tons and I mean tons of household waste after they've left and it must cost the landowner or the council a fortune to clear it up.

BUT, and this is the BUT, it only takes someone to share your fb post or screen shot it and it no longer remains a personal comment.

Also, unfortunately, employers are googling employees or potential employees more and more.

InsomniacAnonymous · 09/03/2018 12:59

Even if they are considered a race, how is complaining about one group doing something i.e. leaving the place a mess, racist? It doesn't say all travellers it just says this group.

Sarahjconnor · 09/03/2018 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GabsAlot · 09/03/2018 12:59

how is it racist to say peo0ple left a park in a state of shit

im fed up of this pc bollocks where you cant say anyting anymore wothout being accused of discrimination

TheKitchenWitch · 09/03/2018 13:00

ilovesooty just out of interest, was the comment related to their work in any way?

mummyretired · 09/03/2018 13:00

If he was not offered the opportunity to have union representation or the support of a colleague, and the chance to prepare, refuse to sign the form and ask for the meeting to be adjourned.

Also get this thread moved to Employment Issues where you will get expert advice.

MagneticMan · 09/03/2018 13:03

Your boyfriend's personal page might well be set to private but it sounds like he made a comment on an open page that can be viewed by anyone.

Are you 100% sure that's all he posted and there wasn't anything else to it?

Sanderz · 09/03/2018 13:06

Why didn't he just sign the form?

ReanimatedSGB · 09/03/2018 13:07

OP implies that the reporting was done by someone who has a grudge of some kind against her BF. This is not implausible. People do panic and overreact when something gets labelled as racist or sexist or insensitive in some way, and there are organisations who will rapidly punish or cut loose anyone who is even rumoured to have had Bad Thoughts. (Well, as long as the people having the bad thoughts are fairly junior...)

Graphista · 09/03/2018 13:16

Facebook isn't really private it's a public site, it was in my opinion a racist comment (sounds like he was blaming the travellers for the mess?) PLUS you say yourself you've advised he not use Facebook (suggests to me he's made ill thought out comments before).

Most companies have a social media clause in contracts that state not to make bigoted or thoughtless comments that may, by association, bring the employer into disrepute.

Certain sectors are VERY hot on this (govt local and national, education, charities, large well known organisations, health and emergency services, telecoms companies...)

Honestly, given the lack of jobs at the moment, I think he was silly not to accept he cocked up and apologise and remedy as requested.

I'm also thinking it's highly likely you don't have the full story.

AcrossthePond55 · 09/03/2018 13:18

I'd say it depends on the wording.

"City Park looks like a shit bomb exploded on it", not racist
"Those people left City Park looking etc etc", could be interpreted as racist.

Without knowing his exact words it's hard to tell. He needs to know his employers social media policy and if he's in a union he needs to consult with his Union Rep.

Where I worked (Civil Service) it was made very clear to us that anything we posted on SM sites would be subject to the same standards expected of us during working hours. In fact, we had to sign a yearly 'statement of agreement/compliance'.

Scullerymaid · 09/03/2018 13:18

Your bf's employer wants to be judge and jury and compel him
to sign a confession - in the past we used to be shocked by despot countries where that happened.

Adrianflank · 09/03/2018 13:23

We get alot of travellers around where I I, they always leave it's like a shit hole when they leave!

whiskyowl · 09/03/2018 13:30

Can you post the exact wording that your boyfriend used? It's very difficult to believe that this is all over a mere comment on the state of the park, and much easier to believe that some kind of slur on travellers was included in the commentary he decided to write.

Eliza9917 · 09/03/2018 13:30

ilovesooty Fri 09-Mar-18 12:50:43

I reported someone to their employer for a disablist comment on a discussion thread on Facebook recently. I know that several other people reported the comment as well. The person had an open profile clearly stating their employer and if they were disciplined for their appalling comment it's fully deserved in my opinion.

I'm beginning to think there might be more to what he posted than he's told you.

Why? His employers aren't his parents. And I assume it was a grown man?

I really don't understand the people on here that say they reported someones comments to their employers. Firstly, what they do outside of work in their own time is nothing to do with the employers, and secondly, its just words on a screen, thirdly, who the fuck takes all that time to go tale telling on what someone writes online, and fourth, what the fuck does it have to do with you anyway?

BrendasUmbrella · 09/03/2018 13:31

The fact is, travelers are well known for trashing the places they stop at. I have seen it. Every couple of years travelers take over a recreation field here in summer until they are finally moved on.

Are we supposed to pretend that we're not walking through a previously clear field that's suddenly littered with shitty nappies, beer bottles, newspapers, dog shit, and plastic bags, because it's "culturally insensitive"?

Original poster
WorriedAndConfusedHelp · 09/03/2018 13:33

Thank you all. Update he signed the form FFS. I gave him such a bollocking for “admitting to it”. I am very seriously considering marching to his office and demanding to speak to the manager. No I didn’t see the post to those who asked but he told me that’s what it said. I am not sure whether it was his Facebook, someone else’s or an article, I used the word ‘comment’ because I don’t use FB so just assume you comment on things. As this is now been done I’m going to NC back so won’t be updating unless something happens. I will watch though in case anyone posts something useful.

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 09/03/2018 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Knittedfairies · 09/03/2018 13:35

Do not march into the office to speak to his manager. This is his mess, and you're not his mother.

Fugitivefrombrusstice · 09/03/2018 13:36

Dear god don't go and complain to his manager you'll look like a lunatic and potentially make things worse for him

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