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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Birthday card!

66 replies

ruthieb77 · 08/03/2018 20:03

It was my birthday yesterday and although I had a nice card and gift from my husband, he didn't organise a card from our 4 and 5 year old daughters because 'he hasn't had time'! I'm a full-time mum to the girls so they are my life. I am therefore really hurt and upset that he didn't either buy or make a card with them. I've just told him that I was upset and he's thrown it back at me as though I'm being unreasonable. He has been been genuinely busy at work but I'm talking about a card! Am I being unreasonable or is it normal to be hurt and upset?

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 08/03/2018 20:05

I would be upset

LeighaJ · 08/03/2018 20:07

I'd be upset.

I loved making cards as a kid, I think most did? So it probably would have been fun for them as well.

Hardheadedwoman39 · 08/03/2018 20:07

Has he organised one for previous birthdays?

Adventuritis · 08/03/2018 20:09

Sorry but I think you’re being absolutely ridiculous! You’re an adult! YABVU

fc301 · 08/03/2018 20:10

He did get you a present & a card. I think you are overreacting

catyloopylou · 08/03/2018 20:12

I would be upset. YANBU.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 08/03/2018 20:12

Surely the card and gift were from all of them?

Sarsparella · 08/03/2018 20:12

You’re being daft, but he could’ve got them to write/draw in the card he’d got you

hhhxxx · 08/03/2018 20:13

He could have got them to draw you a card... BUT he is a man and they don't think about things like we do. Sure it wasn't intentional I'd be upset too but that's men for you aye!

SpringSnowdrop · 08/03/2018 20:14

I’m with adventuris! He’s already got you a card and I’d understand you making a comment you love getting a card from DDs too but otherwise seems an overreaction especially when he’s busy

Tippz · 08/03/2018 20:15

Of course YANBU.

Make sure you do the same to him!

Of course he has had time. That's a lame fucking excuse.

As I said, make sure you do the same to him.

Tippz · 08/03/2018 20:17

Happy birthday by the way! Smile

But yeah, 'I haven't had time' is the worst excuse ever that people use for forgetting, or not being arsed.

MrsOsM · 08/03/2018 20:19

I understand where you are coming from op. DH knows cards are important to me and in the past when money has been tight he's known to get me card with a nice message inside rather than a present.
I can also understand that your husband hasn't had a lot of time. However he had time to get you a card and present from himself, it would only take another minute to choose a card from your children at the same time.

Original poster
ruthieb77 · 08/03/2018 20:24

I haven't picked an argument with him over this. I simply told him I was upset, because I was. Those little girls are the most important people in my life. I just feel hurt that he didn't get them to draw me a card or a picture or something!!!

OP posts:
CherryMaDeary · 08/03/2018 20:26

I wouldn't bother with cards for him from the girls anymore.

ReanimatedSGB · 08/03/2018 20:38

Has he done the making-cards-with-kids thing on previous birthdays, though? Or is it because your DC are now about old enough to write and draw a card for you that you think he should have arranged this?
Not everyone is into arts-n-crafts-with-kids. So possibly YABU.

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 20:39

YANBU

My kids would have been upset not to have made a card for me at that age, but if he forgot last weekend and hasn't seen them since, he should do it this Saturday

pictish · 08/03/2018 20:41

Well it’s not something that I’d use a signifier of anything important.

Can you explain what a card bought by him from your girls signifies? His love for you? In which case a card from him would say the same. Your daughters’ love for you? In which case a card bought on their behalf is irrelevant.

I don’t understand what you think this card or lack of it says.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 08/03/2018 20:44

God almighty! They are my life Confused And devastated that you didn't get a card from them... You have a flair for the old dramatics, to be sure.

Spicylolly · 08/03/2018 20:46

Some men are pretty useless at this stuff, mainly because it just doesn't occur to them that extra cards are sometimes special to others....me personally would rally care, one card and presents is enough and to be honest I actually hate bought cards...waste of money for something that's going to go in the recycling, I'd rather have the wine.
He shouldn't get arsed with you though when you tell him it upsets you, he should take note and try harder next time 👍🏻

pilates · 08/03/2018 20:49

I would be upset too. Everyone is busy. He would have had time a month before your birthday to take them to get a card. Busy is a poor excuse.

Original poster
ruthieb77 · 08/03/2018 20:49

Mmm, don't think I actually said either of those things actually but hey ho!

OP posts:
GaraMedouar · 08/03/2018 20:50

YANBU - can understand why you’re upset., it’s Mother’s Day coming up so hopefully he’ll redeem himself!

Original poster
ruthieb77 · 08/03/2018 20:54

Thanks for all the replies everyone!

OP posts:
daffodil10 · 08/03/2018 20:55

YABU get a grip!! I never had a card from my children for birthday or Mother's Day until they were old enough to organise it themselves. There are way more important things in life, it's a piece of paper