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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - Birthday card!

66 replies

ruthieb77 · 08/03/2018 20:03

It was my birthday yesterday and although I had a nice card and gift from my husband, he didn't organise a card from our 4 and 5 year old daughters because 'he hasn't had time'! I'm a full-time mum to the girls so they are my life. I am therefore really hurt and upset that he didn't either buy or make a card with them. I've just told him that I was upset and he's thrown it back at me as though I'm being unreasonable. He has been been genuinely busy at work but I'm talking about a card! Am I being unreasonable or is it normal to be hurt and upset?

OP posts:

Lethaldrizzle · 09/03/2018 14:51

'That's more than many people get ! So she should just shut up and be grateful then! Jeez the dh was a thoughtless idiot. Yanbu op

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/03/2018 14:55

No. A thoughtless idiot would have not bought their wife anything on her birthday.

HTH.

daffodil10 · 09/03/2018 14:57

Lethal - or the alternative to shutting up is getting all wound up, upset and devasted over something so trivial - not worth it

Vitalogy · 09/03/2018 14:58

Well I'm very big on cards but if my partner had put kids names on his card I think I'd be alright with that. If he always gets them a card to give you and he didn't this year, then I can understand your upset.

blastomama · 09/03/2018 15:54

So she should just shut up and be grateful then! Jeez the dh was a thoughtless idiot. Yanbu op

She should, yes. He's not a thoughtless idiot at all, he gave his wife a gift and card for her birthday. The majority of people do not buy gifts and cards fro their children as well.

IamaBluebird · 09/03/2018 16:16

When we were young my mum used to give us paper and crayons. We'd spend ages making her cards as she pretended not to know what we were doing. I still remember these times with affection. Maybe you could try this next year op.

Iceweasel · 09/03/2018 16:23

I would only expect one card, with his and the children's names in it. Maybe tell the kids yourself that you would love a picture for your birthday? That's what I did as a single parent.
I expect he was unaware that it was something you wanted. Let him know, then he will know for next time!

SEsofty · 09/03/2018 16:31

And this is why every household should have a packet of blank cards for the kids to use. Then all you have to do is say its mummy birthday next week time to make her a card. Leave children to draw for half an hour and tell them to put the card in oh sock drawer

hhhxxx · 10/03/2018 12:32

It's her birthday why should OP have to get her children to make her a card? Is she going to have to buy DH a card for him to write to her next year too? She wants a fuss and so fucking what.

I've spent today making Mother's Day cards with step children for their mom as being an adult you should influence children on things like this.

Ignore all these nasty

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 10/03/2018 12:40

The OP got a nice gift and a card which in my book is being made a fuss of.

Lethaldrizzle · 10/03/2018 12:46

The op is not actually asking for much. A small act from her dh would have produced alot of joy. Same with mothers day. I simply do not understand the naysayers. What's wrong with making people feel loved and appreciated and what a great thing to teach the kids.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 10/03/2018 13:14

But he bought her a present and a card. all this fuss about not getting one specifically from the DD's is bordering on ridiculous.

Nanny0gg · 10/03/2018 13:21

Do posters not thing that the DDs would have liked to have made/written a card for their mum?

HouseworkIsASin10 · 10/03/2018 13:24

I'd be a bit gutted not to get a Happy Birthday Mum card. Don't need presents but a card is important.

I assume you buy him a card from the DC for his birthday?

frasier · 10/03/2018 13:40

I'd be disappointed. Ypur birthday is the same day every year, it's not as if it was sprung on DH as a surprise at the last minute.

But why didn't he pick up a card from the girls when he got his own?

pilates · 10/03/2018 14:26

“Do posters not thing that the DDs would have liked to have made/written a card for their mum?“

Exactly right

I can remember receiving cards from my children when they were just old enough to put a pencil in their hand and my husband has carefully guided their hands to make their name and a kiss. They are the cards that are extra special to me and will be kept forever.

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