WIBU to put a formal complaint in to GP practice?

[PeapodBurgundy]

Had a traumatic labour and birth with DS. I've been through the channels and said my piece on that, several aspects were mishandled, and the communication between each other, and with myself and DP was abysmal. (To add context, the services have since been branded inadequate for the exact reasons I flagged up, so I'm not the only woman to have been treated this way).
We decided we would like another child, but I was quite frankly petrified of a repeat performance. I booked an appointment with the GP who supported me through the situation so knew the ins and outs to discuss my concerns. I asked if it would be possible to have my care managed through a different hospital, but still try for a home birth. He looked into it, and confirmed that yes it was possible for me to do this with a GP referral under the circumstances.

After lengthy discussions, we decided to try for number 2, and I'm currently pregnant. Now that it's too late, the hospital have refused to let me book with them unless I agree to a hospital birth. We've been left in the position of having to choose to be manages by the team who caused all of the problems last time, or to agree to a hospital birth.

Is it unreasonable of me to write a complaint to the GP surgery regarding the misinformation? If I'd known this was the situation, we would not have chosen to have another baby, and I briefly even considered a termination, but decided that would be much worse. I'm not taking a big ranty effort, but to flag up how let down I feel by being poorly informed? I'm finding it hard to judge as I'm very emotional at the moment. I can't really discuss it with family as my Nana just passed away, so I don't want to be selfish and pile more onto them.

I'm confused. Is your consultant at hospital 1 where you delivered last time? So you are under the care of that hospital but want another midwife team to handle delivery?

All of my care is under hospital 1, because that was the only way I could book a home birth. I was told I could have all of my care and a home birth through hospital 2, but this isn't the case. I can go through hospital 2, but I'd have to book to birth in the hospital there too.

but more a worry that the effect of all of this on my mental health will affect my ability to effectively parent
This is such an over-reaction. You have been given the option to have your care dealt with by another care team in another hospital, so it's not like you are being forced to use the services that caused your trauma.

No home birth is guaranteed at all, so even if they had agreed to it, you would still be facing the possibility of having to go to that hospital for delivery. Are you saying that unless you could be guaranteed that you could give birth at home (which can't ever be), you wouldn't have ttc?

I'd be very surprised if a community midwifery service can/would go out of area to attend a HB as the whole point of a local community service is they operate in the local area.

You don't know how ill I got after DS, so you're not in a position to comment on if it's an overreaction or not. I'm not saying I wouldn't have tried for DC2 if I knew I might have to go into hospital, obviously nothing can predict that. I wouldn't have tried for another if I'd known I only had the choice of going back through the local hospital, or a hospital birth out of area.

They can't champagne, but I was told it was possible with a referral, which isn't the case.

Ok so there are two issues and I think they are being confused in this thread.

Firstly that you were told something that isn't the case re an out of area home birth - I don't think that's your GPs fault. They did the best they could yo get you what you wanted but it isn't within their gift. You need to let that go, being angry about it isn't going to help you move forward.

Secondly your delivery now because you are pregnant it sounds like you intend to proceed. Your consultant is supportive so the next step is to ask to meet the supervisor of midwives and try and gone up with a birth plan and variants of that which you can cope with. I think you need continuity of care as much as possible, lots of detail about being mobile and some basic stuff such as not being in the same room if you do need to Labour in hospital. You also need your current midwife to urgently refer you for psychological support so that you have some tools to use whatever Labour you end up with.

@NorthernLurker I think it's too late for a change of heart about the pregnancy. Knowing that it's now too late and things are not working out as you were told is bound to cause stress and anxiety due to the time limit.

Did you see a midwife in hospital 2 early in your pregnancy or a community midwife at your gp surgery? because either would have told you an out of area home birth is not possible. I actually think reading through your original post its easy to be confused about what you wanted. To have a hospital birth at hospital 2 would be fine and a routine thing but to want hospital 2 to manage an out of area birth is definitely something I can't see them agreeing to.

I'm coming off the thread now. It's just a constant round of defending my birth plans, parenting and life choices, with very little response to my actual question. Thank you to those who actually answered, and those who have offered Doula information 🙂