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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask... Would you give your child chicken pox deliberately?

214 replies

LinkyPlease · 08/03/2018 09:24

DD's cousin is due over tomorrow for a sleepover. Cousin has just been diagnosed with chicken pox.

Should we go ahead with sleepover, assuming cousin feels well enough, in the knowledge it will likely lead to DD catching chicken pox?

DD is 4 (not at school yet), cousin turning 6, and I've got a 9 month old at home to who woke this morning with a high temp so he might be ailing with something toi

OP posts:
RicottaPancakes · 08/03/2018 14:35

Yes, better get it now that when they are adults.

TalkinBoutWhat · 08/03/2018 14:43

Definitely not for the 9 month old, but I would for the older one. Once they hit their teens and didn't have it, then I would get them immunised for it. Given that I wouldn't immunise until teens, I would prefer to try to expose them in a controlled way before hand, then I would know to look out for it.

My DS1 got it and I managed to expose a hospital A&E waiting area (for me, not him) for about 3 hours to it because I didn't know until I got him home into the bath that he had spots all over his back. No way would I have taken him if I had thought he might have had it.

I think if you're not willing to immunise, then you're being hypocritical about being judgmental to deliberate exposure.

GameOfPoseys · 08/03/2018 15:01

Yes, better get it now that when they are adults. but Ricotta you can get the vaccine. I had the vaccine as an adult.

KochabRising · 08/03/2018 15:06

The general consensus where I live is that if they haven’t had it by age ten, you definitely vaccinate

Italiangreyhound · 08/03/2018 15:10

No. I would not allow my child to catch this potentially serious disease.

My son is vaccinated against it.

melj1213 · 08/03/2018 15:13

I did when my DD was about 2 1/2 ... I was visiting my parents in the UK over the summer and her cousin had it, we let them play together regularly and she caught it. I figured that it was easier to let her spend time with her cousin and risk catching it than go out of my way to keep them apart.

Also I preferred that she catch it early - ie before she started school - at a time when I was able to keep an eye on her for the whole time and as it was summer I didnt have to take time off work (was a teacher at the time) or worry about carrying it into school to infect the other kids.

Yes there is a risk of complications or infection, but that is always going to be there whether they catch it intentionally or accidentally so I'd rather "plan" the illness so that it could be managed most effectively than leave it to pure chance and if I did I know DD would have got it at the most inconvenient/stressful time

BigSandyBalls2015 · 08/03/2018 15:18

I wouldn't. Although complications are rare, it still happens and CP is a nasty uncomfortable illness.

My twin DDs got it when they were 2. The first had it horribly - spots absolutely everywhere, in her mouth, ears, nose, bum .... hideous. She spots were joining up, she was like one big scab at one point!

Her sister got it two weeks later and had 3 spots on her entire body, and felt fine.

you just can't tell how your child will react to it.

jo10000 · 08/03/2018 15:21

I asked at my GP about the vaccine for my 10 year old. The receptionist didn't know. When you say you can get it from Boots, who adminsters it, is it a jab? Thanks

GameOfPoseys · 08/03/2018 15:28

melj1213 Wouldn't have been much easier to just get her the vaccine?

GameOfPoseys · 08/03/2018 15:28

The pharmacist.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 08/03/2018 15:29

I've had my kids vaccinated, with the small risk of serious complications, and the disruption and upset of the illness especially with siblings, I think paying for vaccination is worthwhile.

If for any reason vaccination wasn't an option I'd try to expose them at a reasonable time, as I really wouldn't want them to catch it as adults, or when pregnant.

However if vaccination is an option I'd definitely choose this.

GameOfPoseys · 08/03/2018 15:37

Superdrug also do it healthclinics.superdrug.com/services/chickenpox-vaccination
They say 'nurse or pharmacist'

Oblomov18 · 08/03/2018 16:00

I didn't even know there was a vaccine. Many years ago, I wanted both ds's to have it, but only, to get it over with. Fortunately they both had it, at different times, and didn't catch it from eachother !! pre school, - I did hope they'd get it before they started school, and they did - whilst at nursery, and not too badly, so all good.

melj1213 · 08/03/2018 16:00

GameofPoseys at the time it wasn't something routinely available from our doctor or health system and was prohibitively expensive to get it privately. Also nobody would give it to DD here because we lived abroad and were just here on holiday.

Also when we came to visit we didn't know DDs cousin had chickenpox so didn't know to vaccinate in advance and since we were here it seemed easier to just let her get it through controlled exposure.

Bellamuerte · 08/03/2018 16:05

I had a fairly mild dose of chicken pox as a child. Neighbour sent their kids to play with me so they'd catch it and get it over with. Both of them got a bad dose and nearly died. Don't do it.

Frombothsidesnow · 08/03/2018 16:08

I guess the chances of it being a bad bout don't change depending on the method of contagion, but I wouldn't want to be the parent who had sent their kid off to catch it who then had to watch them die.

BarbarianMum · 08/03/2018 16:14

You know, I think watching your kids die must be pretty devestating whatever the circumstances. And I expect there'd always be something you could beat yourself up about - why didn't I vaccinate, why didn't I call the doctor sooner, why did I send them to school/nursery when I knew chicken pox was doing the rounds, why didn't I send Timmy away to his grans when Johnny came down with it? And on. And on.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 08/03/2018 16:31

DD is one of those unfortunate people who has caught chicken pox three times (so far). She has had 2 mild cases and one really bad case. The last time it was really bad so hoping she will finally have immunity. If it was doing the rounds again then I would avoid exposing her to infected people as it was so bad last time I wouldn’t want her to go through that again.

Frombothsidesnow · 08/03/2018 16:34

You know, I think watching your kids die must be pretty devestating whatever the circumstances.

Been there, done that.

ParadiseCity · 08/03/2018 16:38

Mine had it pre school at the same time and it was the most convenient way of dealing with it. However if there had been a vaccine that would have been tons better. I remember the boy next door being sent over by his mum for my DC to lick!!!

Frombothsidesnow · 08/03/2018 16:38

And yes of course, the irrational guilt is enormous and long lasting. Constant. Which is why I'd go out of my way to avoid exposing my child like that; I can't imagine what I'd torture myself with.

I meant to point out what the difference between letting them catch it and them catching it anyway might be, but I was too blunt. My apologies if I upset anyone.

ParadiseCity · 08/03/2018 16:39

Oh gosh so sorry for my jolly post straight after yours Frombothsidesnow. I am sorry for your loss.

KatherinaMinola · 08/03/2018 16:40

Please don't do this! Especially with a baby - he could become very seriously ill.

Cancel the sleepover and, if you want to get chickenpox out of the way, get them vaccinated.

Frombothsidesnow · 08/03/2018 16:41

Please don't worry, Paradise. It was a long time ago and posts pop up fast.

The licking did make me laugh anyway.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/03/2018 18:44

There is no way on earth I would intentionally expose a child to chicken pox when there is another option to protect them as adults

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