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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask... Would you give your child chicken pox deliberately?

214 replies

LinkyPlease · 08/03/2018 09:24

DD's cousin is due over tomorrow for a sleepover. Cousin has just been diagnosed with chicken pox.

Should we go ahead with sleepover, assuming cousin feels well enough, in the knowledge it will likely lead to DD catching chicken pox?

DD is 4 (not at school yet), cousin turning 6, and I've got a 9 month old at home to who woke this morning with a high temp so he might be ailing with something toi

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 08/03/2018 11:42

No, especially not the 9 month old. Getting chicken pox under 1 year increases their chance of getting childhood shingles (ds had chicken pox around 6 months and shingles age 3)

Soubriquet · 08/03/2018 11:49

Never

Both of mine had it last year. Poor dd was miserable and then poor ds got it worse! His ended up infected too.

Typically they caught it just before we were due on holiday.....had to cancel

So never would I ever deliberately expose my children to chicken pox.

childmindingmumof3 · 08/03/2018 11:52

£65 per dose x2 doses x3 children - you'd need to live on beans for a long time to find that much money!

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 11:55

Presumably you don't get them vaccinated all on the same day, the spending is spread out. It's a choice, and we only do what we think is best but you can't claim that you don't vaccinate because you think it's too much money.

YTho · 08/03/2018 11:59

Either you go ahead with it now or have your kids vaccinated.

Dontoutmenow · 08/03/2018 12:01

Of course not. They’ve been vaccinated.

Laserbird16 · 08/03/2018 12:11

Please don't. We have a friend who is partially deaf and lost his lower leg when he caught chickenpox in childhood. It isn't always harmless. Get the vaccination if you are worried

Clandestino · 08/03/2018 12:12

Is this a serious question or are you taking the piss? I can't imagine anyone wanting to infect their children deliberately. That's beyond mental.

Osopolar · 08/03/2018 12:12

I really would recommend the vaccine for all who can afford it. Easiest vaccine we had by far and the peace of mind is priceless. Even in the unlikely event DS gets CP it will be milder :)

GameOfPoseys · 08/03/2018 12:24

Well to state the obvious, you don't get them all vaccinated on the same day.
The first dose makes them something like 97% immune, so work on getting them that first dose.

agentdaisy · 08/03/2018 12:30

I wouldn't deliberately try to make my dcs catch chickenpox due to the risks of serious complications, no matter how small those risks are.

All of my dcs got chickenpox within three weeks of each other. Dd2 caught it at nursery when she was 4, just as she was able to go back to nursery the other dcs broke out in spots. All of them were completely covered in spots but it effected the youngest most. He was 18 months and unwell with fever and being very clingy and upset for a week and didn't have any energy to do much and went off food. The others moaned about being stuck inside, dd1 had spots in her mouth so went off food for a few days but otherwise they were fine. They were mainly spotty and itchy.

£130 for a vaccine is a lot of money for much of the population. I live in one of the most deprived areas of the UK and many struggle to feed, clothe and house their kids due to unemployment. They're already eating beans on toast every day so can't spend a month's food and heating budget on a chickenpox vaccination.

Purringkittenmama · 08/03/2018 12:38

I deliberately took my DS to play with a friend with chickenpox when he was 13months old.
Yes, he caught it, and it wasn't bad at all- in fact he didn't even seem aware he had it.
Obviously from all of the comments on here, there are cases where it isn't as straightforward. Really horrible as that is though, I assume they are rare or surely the NHS would vaccinate?
DH had a friend who caught it as an adult and was very unwell indeed. Either vaccinate or let your DC catch it when young (although not sure whether good idea if already ill).

Notsoyummi · 08/03/2018 12:38

No definately not my son caught them when he was seven ended up in hospital with septicemia nobody knows how their child is going to react to chickenpox. Personally I think its shocking to purpously put your child at risk.

SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus · 08/03/2018 12:41

Clandestino 20 years ago CP parties were still a thing where one kid had it and other local kids were invited round in the hope they'd get it so it was 2out of the way" especially if during school holiday, so siblings got it at the same time etc.

It's the sort of thing that was done when I was a child and earlier, so certainly 1970s onwards. Would you do it now? Not according to posters here bu there are many parents out there who still hold store by their parents' / grandparents' advice who probably would.

givemesteel · 08/03/2018 12:43

I paid £75 per dose and, so £150 for two doses.

The nurse said even if you get just one dose it means if the a child catches chicken pox it will be mild.

So one dose is better then no dose if affording it is a problem.

Original poster
LinkyPlease · 08/03/2018 12:50

Thanks so much everyone for sharing these opinions, it makes it a very easy decision for me to make.
Tbh I don't know that much about chicken pox beyond having had our as a child myself - it was unpleasant and I have a few minor scars on my face but never really considered then to be a big deal, they're practically invisible.

I've heard lots about people having chicken pox parties in the past to control the timing. Since I'm on mat leave and DD isn't at school now would be a convenient time, and of course I'm well aware it's better to have it while young. My dad got it at the same time as me and my brothers and he was seriously ill while none of us were.

I must admit I don't understand the view of 'don't expose them intentionally, but they'll definitely get it at some point' - I'd much rather they get it young and when convenient for work than at a busy time when it's much harder to take a week off / when they're teens.

However luckily I can afford the vax so I'll get that done ASAP for the older one and put a reminder in to vax the baby once MMR is out the way.

OP posts:
Frombothsidesnow · 08/03/2018 14:02

A friend of mine works in health policy, which is where I first heard the anti-vax information on chicken pox and the NHS, but it's referred to in this article from a few years ago.

www.theguardian.com/science/occams-corner/2014/may/15/real-reason-british-public-chickenpox-vaccine-shingles

TakeMe2Insanity · 08/03/2018 14:05

Gosh no. DS was just about 14 months when he had it and in constant agony. Just no. Especially not with a 9 month old.

annielouisa · 08/03/2018 14:13

Please do not do this. My DGD3 almost died a couple of years ago she got chickenpox and combined with a viral infection and scarlet fever her immune system could not cope. As you say your baby is already unwell do not introduce anything else that they may not be able to fight off

DailyMailFail101 · 08/03/2018 14:15

No, I would never intentionally let my children get sick, it’s a myth you can only get chicken pox once, I have had it three times.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 08/03/2018 14:17

No!

BarbarianMum · 08/03/2018 14:22

I wouldn't have sought out chicken pox when my children were little but neither would I have gone out of my way to avoid it. Nor would I have got them vaccinated. Nothing I've seen or heard since has changed the way I'd act if I had to make those decisions today.

gillybeanz · 08/03/2018 14:25

My ds1 was 3 and caught them and passed them onto one month old ds2.
The doctor said that getting them as a one month old would give protection.
he had 3 spots whereas poor ds1 was covered in them.
Doctor said not to call him unless their seemed other issues.
Both were fine and strapping grown up men now.
We used to have chicken pox parties both when I was little and when my dc were.
It's only recently it's stopped and people are being immunised against the pox.

BitchQueen90 · 08/03/2018 14:28

I wouldn't deliberately subject my child to the chicken pox virus but I wouldn't (and didn't) get him vaccinated either. As it happens he did catch it when he was 3 from nursery and only suffered mildly - less than 30 spots in total.

Bluelady · 08/03/2018 14:35

It's bloody awful if you get it as an adult. I got it when I was 26 and wanted to die. It was truly dreadful.