To ask... Would you give your child chicken pox deliberately?

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DD's cousin is due over tomorrow for a sleepover. Cousin has just been diagnosed with chicken pox.

Should we go ahead with sleepover, assuming cousin feels well enough, in the knowledge it will likely lead to DD catching chicken pox?

DD is 4 (not at school yet), cousin turning 6, and I've got a 9 month old at home to who woke this morning with a high temp so he might be ailing with something toi

No my dc spent five days in hospital age 22 months with infected chicken pox.

I've seen on MN the sad story of two sisters.

One sister's DD had chicken pox so the sisters arranged a playdate so the cousin could catch it.

The first DD recovered from a mild dose of chicken pox and went on to live her life.

The cousin was severely disabled from chicken pox and will never live an independant life.

My DC are vaccinated.

Mine have all had it, but if they hadn't and were coming up to 7 or 8, I would get the vaccine.

However, I can completely understand why people used to do chicken pox parties, and if there weren't a vaccine I would do the same.

It isn't a choice between your child getting chicken pox or not getting it (of course we would rather they all never get sick!)
It's a choice between them getting it young, or them getting it older. Never getting it at all is practically impossible in heavily populated areas.

Yes, getting it young can have devastating rare consequences, but getting it older gives you an even higher likelihood of the really terrible complications, including fatality.

Given the choice between "them catching it young" OR "them catching it older", I would always choose for them to catch it young.

Whether I would feel guilty about being the prime cause is irrelevant to my thinking. I want to do what I believe is safest for them, and how I may or may not feel is irrelevant in that calculation.

Having written that essay , there is a vaccine! That's the choice I would take now.

(the DDs are now in their 20s)

Does anyone know from what age you can have the vaccine? Chicken pox is DS' weakness. He's never otherwise ill but has had CP twice in 8 years and shingles. I'm now expecting no. 2 and want to avoid this one going through 2 doses of this if it's something our kids are particularly susceptible to. Don't mind paying £130 in Superdrug but just wondered from what age the little one can have it.

Why would anyone willingly inflict a horrible illness to their children is beyond me. Even a relatively "mild" version with high fever, sleepless nights and child crying in pain is not something you would encourage, surely.

No way. Gave mine the vaccine when they were 5 and 2 and there was an outbreak at a neighbouring school.

Cavoli surely the point is if you can't avoid it, you can influence when?

Not, no no and no.

Dd1 fine with it, dd2 seriously ill. No way would I have wanted to that on my consciousness.

Why would anyone allow their child to face the highly increased risk of pneumonia/brain damage/and death by getting childpox as an ADULT instead of as a small child?

Just so the parent can say to themselves, "It wasn't my fault."

-Disclaimer
I don't actually judge anyone their choices, I think we're all trying to do our best. But I'm trying to point out how avoiding the illness does not look like the kind thing to do for some of us.

Still all mostly theoretical though from my point of view, there is a vaccine now, so we don't need to choose between exposure young or old any more.

No, my friend's son is disabled because his mum caught cp while she was pregnant with him from one of their older children. He will face many health challenges for the rest of his life.

It's a big risk to deliberately make your child ill. If your baby catches cp on top of whatever he already has it could be very serious.

I read somewhere that the NHS doesn't put the CP vaccine on the usual vax programme because it increases the likelihood of them then getting shingles instead. Is this still the case? I'm unsure what to do for DS.

I had CP for the first time when I was 33. DH then caught it, for the second time. I have rarely been so uncomfortable and ill. It's not something I'd deliberately expose anyone to.

No. It can cause strokes in children, amongst other serious complications. I'm getting DS2 vaccinated as he has been lucky enough not to catch it yet.

chickenpox, not childpox!

Aside from the should they/shouldn’t they catch it debate, you DN will be feeling rough and will almost certainly just want to be at home. Both of mine had it and had raised temperature and generally whiny and clingy, as well as, of course, really itchy spots.

I still have a lot of large, deep scars from chickenpox at age 8. My sister ended up in hospital with infected pox and suspected meningitis. DS1 had it aged 13m and after a few miserable days he was totally fine and is unscarred. You have no idea which scenario will unfold of you deliberately expose someone to the virus.

I read somewhere that the NHS doesn't put the CP vaccine on the usual vax programme because it increases the likelihood of them then getting shingles instead. Is this still the case? I'm unsure what to do for DS.

The NHS rationale is that by maintaining a circulating pool of wild virus, older people who have had CP are constantly immune boosted and thus less likely to get shingles. However, this isn’t very solid data and many countries have the same data and still vaccinate.
If you don’t get CP you dont get shingles. CP hides in the body and reactivates to form shingles. It looks like vaccinated kids may need a booster in the late teens but this really isn’t an issue- we vaccinated DS and will vaccinate our next kid.

Patriciabateman

CP can be extremely serious for children as well as adults.

Is it a myth that the younger you get it the milder it is? Or is there proper clinical evidence that you are basing your comments on?

surely the point is if you can't avoid it, you can influence when?

but you can, there's a vaccine for it. It's so dangerous to pretend chicken pox is a "mild" illness.

I have no idea if this is true, but have been told that if you have a version too mild, you could catch it again.

Serin

Clinical evidence. Four times as likely to die if you catch it as an adult. Also much more likely to catch pneumonia (with its own fatality rate) and encephalitis.

This is very well known in the healthcare community. A Google search will turn up the studies done and medical consensus.

If you don’t get CP you dont get shingles. CP hides in the body and reactivates to form shingles. It looks like vaccinated kids may need a booster in the late teens but this really isn’t an issue- we vaccinated DS and will vaccinate our next kid.

The CP vax contains a live virus, doesn't it? So this would give DS the risk of shingles instead of CP in adulthood? Is this better than the risk of CP at any stage of life?

The NHS website talks a lot about weakened immune systems causing shingles so, excluding any life-changing diagnoses in the meantime, it's not something DS (or DH and I) would have to worry about until chemotherapy or old age as far as I can tell. Is that about right?

I know a few people who had shingles, they might have been a bit "low" but think tired after a bad bout of cold, stressed at work, nothing more than we all experience from time to time.

A vaccine being available is only useful if you are able to pay for it.

A little boy aged 4, who lived a few houses down had cp and nearly died. He was left seriously brain damaged. His life and that of his families was completely ruined.

The NHS don't have it on the schedule due to money.