AIBU to think my OH is being unreasonable?

[AriAliyah]

I'm 4+3 weeks pg. My other half snores very loudly and has only done so for the last few months. I've been asking him for weeks to go to the doctors and he keeps saying he will, but never does. I sleep with headphones in and when it's loudest I sleep on the sofa. Am I being unreasonable in calling him a selfish a** for not just going to the doctors when he knows I'm exhausted and can't sleep?

YANBU. If he snores and it's disturbing you, he either sleeps elsewhere or sorts it out. Not sure being 4 weeks pregnant is relevant, but it will be later down the line when you're increasingly tired and up with active baby/hip pain/small bladder!
You need your sleep now while it's still possible!

He's being unfair
He should sleep on the sofa if he snores!

Do you mean 7 weeks pregnant? Bit confused by 4 plus 3 weeks...?

@Shoxfordian sorry, means 4+3, it was 4am when I posted, I'm very tired lol! Thanks for your answer.

@Fortunatelymine hi. I think getting enough sleep in early pregnancy is really important? Fatigue is setting in, I feel exhausted in the day and what's worse is that I can't even get a good sleep because he sounds like a bloody fog horn! I'm so not looking forward to the stage you mention however, sounds terrible and as a first time mum I'm not sure what to expect!

4 weeks and 3 days? Ah I see. My brain isn't working yet this morning

Look up flare audio on amazon. Both of us snore and have different sleep patterns and these have been a marriage saver. I have the mini ones and they are comfortable. They also do a snoozer one just for sleep. I have found them far better than other ear plugs.

Record him and play it back to him. My sister had to do this with her DH because he had no idea how bad it was. Snorers don't do it on purpose, but they CAN do something about it.
You need your sleep OP (Congrats btw)

@stayingaliveisawayoflife thank you! Can you still hear your alarm through them?

@Shoxfordian no worries, maybe neither!

@supersop60 I did, about 6 weeks ago! It's almost like he's not bothered because it doesn't keep him awake. I wouldn't mind so much if he made an effort to go to the doctors. He's a heavy vaper too which I know dries your nose out. I just don't know what I can do. I can't force him to go so all I can do is sleep on the sofa and let our relationship deteriorate further...

I've been in this situation for years! For the last few years I've had to sleep with earphones in playing music to drown out the snoring.
If it gets too bad I usually kick him out the bed (why should I move if he won't see a Dr?!)

Nothing constructive to add other than I feel your pain 😪

@pcwifey you're lucky he will move! No chance I could ever get my OH to sleep downstairs. If I even try to move him off his back he just shouts and snaps at me. Ugh...

@supersop60 also, thank you!

@Shoxfordian *me neither. I need to go to bed 🤣

@AriAliyah oh I get snapped at too!! Usually he moves after being shoved repeatedly by me to make him turn over. I find it really selfish and I've been asking him for years to see a Dr.

I am sure your dh’s snoring is aggravating but please don’t be that person who thinks you get to tell him what to do because you’re pregnant because that’s aggravating as well. You’re a month pg and already you’re waving the pregnancy card in order to call the shots. It’s manipulative AF.

What can the doctor do about it anyway? Genuine ask? If he’s overweight he needs to lose a few pounds...if he drinks he needs to drink less. I’m not sure there’s any help for snoring really.

To be honest, he doesn't sound very nice if that's his attitude to keeping you awake. I'd be worried about how much help he is going to be when the baby gets here. Sorry to be the voice of doom but seriously and, this might sounds ott to some, but if a serious talk doesn't change things I'd be planning for single parenthood just in case things don't work out.

Why should he move? Surely the person taking umbrage leaves?

What reasons are acceptable for 'making' a partner sleep somewhere else?

@pictish bollox to that. I haven't said a word to him about me being pregnant having anything to do with this. I mentioned it on here as I presumed other women would maybe understand? Yes I'm 'only' 4 weeks pregnant. But I'm exhausted, and need him to sort this out because I need to sleep. As someone who has suffered numerous miscarriages and pregnancy related issues in the past, which has now caused me to be terrified it'll happen again, I think I am well within my rights to be concerned about not getting enough sleep and wanting to be healthy. It's causing me anxiety in what is already a very stressful time.

As for not being able to do anything about snoring... if you google snoring on the NHS website you'll see that there are a number of things which can be done dependant on the cause.

Because he is the one being disruptive!!

Not much worse than sleep deprivation especially when it's caused by a partner who can't even be arsed to go to the gp.

That was to stayseated.

@staySeated I'm not trying to make him move. I'm trying to get him to seek help from a doctor or sleep clinic.

Yanbu, how could anyone think you are? Maybe you should wake him randomly in the night (shouting?) to give him the experience. People have divorced over less.

@TheBakeryQueen I'm at a massive loss here. Funny thing is the doctor is 10 doors down from our house! I just want him to seek help, so I can get a bit of sleep.

@Garmadonsmum the thing is, I entirely understand that he can't help it. I'm not angry that he snores, I'm just upset that he knows it keeps me awake yet can't be bothered to do anything about it. I'm at a loss!