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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler nudity

64 replies

farnorth · 05/05/2007 21:48

In our local pool today an attendant asked if I had "a top" for my 3yo DD. She was wearing her favourite swim knickers. I said "no", he said, "please bring one next time". I said "She's 3!" Bikinis on preschoolers are ludicrous - i'd say obscene. Thoughts?

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 05/05/2007 21:49

OMG! She's 3. Surely breasts only need to be covered up when they exist?

NotanOtter · 05/05/2007 21:49

o m g you have to be joking
I would take that further
He is obscene!

Nemo2007 · 05/05/2007 21:51

eh???!!! She doesnt have breasts and will look no different to 3yr old boys??

FrannyandZooey · 05/05/2007 21:51

sad to hear this

I am wondering if we might get asked this with my ds? He is often mistaken for a girl.

Eulalia · 05/05/2007 21:51

Ridiculous! I remember seeing a girl about 9ish in Spain just wearing pants - so much more relaxed. I would report that attendant - it really worries me this sexualising of children at such a young age.

KaySamuels · 05/05/2007 21:52

ffs! I would take this further too - he has deemed this inappropriate by viewing your 3yr old daughters breasts as sexual and therefore needing to be covered up?!

FrannyandZooey · 05/05/2007 21:52

You know it is probably not the attendant's fault - I have heard of this being the pool policy

MaPickle · 05/05/2007 21:53

how ridiculous. never take a top until she asks for one. and try to go when that pool attendant is there so you can tell him what a total fool he is if he brings it up again.

rowan1971 · 05/05/2007 21:53

Complain!! Maybe the attendant took it upon himself to institute a new 'policy'.

It's strange that the sexualisation of tiny children has now reached the point at which it's starting to manifest itself as pseudo-modesty.

NotanOtter · 05/05/2007 21:53

my ds is too franny - chidren are children though and i will not make him conform because of society
i think this bikini issue is beyond belief
my daughter wore just swim pants until 6 or 7

lucy5 · 05/05/2007 21:53

Here in Spain, loads of girls up to about 10 just wear the bottoms. Infact it is really easy just to buy the bottoms here for kids, I don't know if that is the case in the UK.

NotQuiteCockney · 05/05/2007 21:54

It probably is pool policy .

preggerspoppet · 05/05/2007 21:55

I would be very at this 'policy' -be glad to copy and sign a complaints letter if you write one!

Original poster
farnorth · 05/05/2007 21:55

one of the saddest things is that i looked at other mums/dd for support and all the wee girls in that pool were in swimsuits / bikinis.. unbelievable...a far north cultural backlash? I agree this is sexualising children! currently only way to tell she is a girl is her pink knickers and long hair (socialised gendering already)

OP posts:
MrsCurly · 05/05/2007 21:56

This makes me so angry. Upset really. I posted a thread last year about the impossibility of buying bikini bottoms for kids on their own, without having to buy the useless, sexualising bra top, but I never thought an attendant would actually request them. How horrible for you.

KaySamuels · 05/05/2007 21:56

My dad always insisted we were covered up (me and sisters), and was very suspicious of other men - he was judging all men by his own paedo views

Young children are being sexualised too early - and I agree it is very worrying.

MaPickle · 05/05/2007 21:59

Oh i so agree about the over sexualisation of children ... i hate seeing little girls in high heels and crop tops ... they should be in grubby clothes climbing trees or poking things with sticks or summat. Or maybe i'm just terribly old fasioned!

KaySamuels · 05/05/2007 22:03

Urgh don't get me started on high heels for little girls - YUK!

On the other side of the coin people are always telling me to get ds' hair cut as he is beginning to look like a girl! [mad] GRRR!

Children should be allowed to be children not boys and girls! They should be able to wear just their pants or long dungarees, skip, climb trees, play kitchens, love their dolls, have short or long hair, make mud pies, dig trenches, explore rockpools and all the other fab stuff regardless of their gender!

sweetjane · 05/05/2007 22:06

what sort of world do we live in?

KerryMum · 05/05/2007 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WK007 · 05/05/2007 22:08

If she had no clothes on, fair enough but just bottoms should be fine!! Agree with the over sexualising of kids, its gone way too far. At dd's nursery there's 2 little girls (4yo) who prance about in grown up style flip flops and overtly girly (like teenage) style clothes, with their hair always perfectly coiffured every day. Really saddens me, and I know its not their choice at all, they look like tiny copies of their parents.

On the other hand there's dd and her little best friend who run around in cheapo bog-standard top and trousers, wild hair, with felt on their hands, paint on their necks, mud on their faces and dinner on their tops (not always all at the same time!). And dd doesn't even know flip flops exist - wellies are her footwear of choice Sounds like she's a little gutter urchin but I know which I prefer!!

pooka · 05/05/2007 22:08

I would be fuming too, and really do think that you need to maybe try and speak to the manager about this. At what stage are we saying knickers only is unacceptable? Didn't buy d a proper cossie until she was out of swim nappies, but only because I liked one, not because I delt it was "inappropriate".

pooka · 05/05/2007 22:10

WK007 - wish my dd was like that. Alas she prays to the goddess of pink and sequinned and is obsessed by all things glittery.
Didn't come from me, that's for sure. I blame my MIL

NotanOtter · 05/05/2007 22:10

kaysamuels - know staements like that only too well from my own bastard 'father'

rowan1971 · 05/05/2007 22:13

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard mothers saying 'don't do that, DD, you'll get your nice dress dirty', yet you hardly every hear them saying anything remotely similar to boys. Girls' movements are so much more policed and circumscribed than boys' (as a rule. Of course, none of us enlightened types would behave like this.)