AIBU?
Not to want DH to get a motorbike?
luciemule · 05/05/2007 20:34
My DH loves sports cars/any cars really and until DD was born, had a sports car. However he has now decided he wants to get a motorbike, which he rightly claims would be good for commuting (avoiding queues on a friday night) and would be cheap to buy/insure etc. I'm just worried he'll end up dead! He loves driving fast although does drive safely, especially when me and kids are in the car and doesn't usually go above 90 on his own (so he says). It's not just him though - it's other drivers not seeing him on a bike etc. Am I being daft as so many people have motorbikes? He says it'll be another regret he has if he doesn't buy one. He's only 34 so I doubt it's a mid-life crisis type thing.
Chirpygirl · 05/05/2007 20:41
DH has a bike, and I am worried for the exact reason you are, I know he will be careful but it's other people you have to worry about.
This is why when he got his licence I bought him a direct access course at a racetrack, it meant he leanrt to ride at speed safely and then was taken on the road while he had better control of the bike, some courses they only learn at 30 or 40 miles an hour which is not realistic.
I think if you insist he doesn't get a bike you may well end up being resented as belgo says, but you are within your rights to insist he learns properly and gets a less powerful bike to start with.
And if he does ALWAYS make him wear full safety gear, as in helmet, gloves, boots, jacket AND armoured trousers!
luciemule · 05/05/2007 20:42
Hmm - thank you. I know it seems as though I'm being selfish but I just want him to be as safe as possible and for the kids to have a father for a long a time as possibvle! He does have a full bike license but did it through the forces about 5 years ago now and hasn't been on a bike since, although he says he wouldn't undertake, would crawl along slowly in queues and not buy a bike with a too big engine!
hatwoman · 05/05/2007 21:12
a friend of my brothers had a horrific bike accident when a car went through a red light. they didn;t think he would ever walk again. fortunately he did - but it took, iirc, about 2 or 3 years. Unfortunately it wasn't bad enough to put my brother off. he carried on having stupidly fast bikes until about 7 years ago when he ended up going over the top of a car, had a windscreen wiper (which he's still got!) clean through his shoulder and his legs shattered. I would hate hate hate dh to have a bike. it doesn;t matter how responsible you are you are incredibly vulnerable. a crash at 30 or 40 in car and you might get away with minor inuries. on a bike - you're thrown in the air, over cars, onto the ground and you're in a whole lot of trouble. and if you go at high speed then you are doubly so.
rabbleraiser · 05/05/2007 21:16
Crikey, lucie, if he likes doing 90 in a car, God help him!!
I wouldn't want my dh to get one. I lost my fiance to a motorbike accident many years ago .. he was only doing 40, fell off, and got run over by a car.
At least six kids I went to school with died within two years of leaving, and all on motorbikes.
You've a life expectancy on those things. Sooner or later, you'll come to harm.
weepootleflump · 05/05/2007 21:17
My dh has a bike as well and though I worry, I know he is a great rider and very careful but as you says it's car drivers you have to worry about - people are just not bike aware in this country.
My dh uses his for commuting and assures me that there are very few bike accidents involving commuters, most of them are the 'fair weather riders' who only get their bikes out to play on at weekends throughout the summer.
Let him have it, don't have him hold it against you. I think the track course is a brilliant idea, wish I'd known about that before dh's birthday - I'd definitely have bought him that.
ThePrisoner · 06/05/2007 16:36
My dh has a motorbike now, used purely for playing with. He is no longer the boy racer he apparently was in his youth (before my time).
I don't worry about him doing something silly, but I worry about other road-users. I also used to have a motorbike, was definitely not a "boy racer", and I was hit by a stupid driver. Luckily, I survived - but it obviously makes me worried about dh.
Much as I now dislike bikes, I don't think it would have been fair for me to say to a grown man that he couldn't have one. I wouldn't like him to dictate what hobbies I could or couldn't have.
Chirpygirl · 06/05/2007 16:48
DH's mate has just been hit by a car that pulled out in front of him.
He wasn't speeding, he was wearing full gear and apparently went flying and the bike is not in good shape BUT he has not a scratch on him.
This is why I insist DH wears full and proper gear! And wanted to reassure luciemule that not all bike accidents are serious.
hoolagirl · 06/05/2007 17:32
I deal with RTA claims and there is always a sharp rise in numbers of motorcycle claims in the summer months.
In 99.99% of the claims, the motorist has simply not seen the bike, the risk of serious injury is very very high.
My DP would also love to get another motorbike, but everyday I have some horror story to tell him about another new claim that has come in, thankfully it seems to be putting him off.
DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 06/05/2007 17:50
I taught a little girl (6yrs) whose dad was killed in a motorcycle accident. It was so hard for her, her mum kept her out of school the day we made father's day cards as it was too raw Also a family member is a surgeon, he has told us some horror stories about motorcyclists...
Please try to dissuade him.
yellowrose · 06/05/2007 18:30
lucie - i have a terrible fear of them and do not look forward to the day ds may one day pester me for one. if he does, he will be told in no uncertian terms that if he gets one, he will never see me again. sounds extreme, but my cousin was killed in collision with a car coming the opposite direction. he was a very intelligent, talents 18 year old on his way to becoming a pilot. my aunt's only child. i can not tell you the grief i have seen my aunt and family go thro.
sorry for the tragic personal story, but i do feel strongly about it and do not see why ANY man needs a fast sports car or big bike. they should have more consideration for their loved ones.
my cousin was a stubborn old goat, my brother tried to talk him out of buying one, he bought it while my aunt was living abroad, it was too big and fast for his frame (i think it was a massive BMW one he attached a side car to it which must have made it even more unstable). he was killed instantly as his helmet came off. the driver of the car was VERY seriously injured but survived. don't think the poor man will ever forget the experience tho' it was not his fault at all. my cousin's motorbike veered off course.
Aloha · 06/05/2007 18:32
I would be very upset and terrified. I once went to an amputees ward at Roehampton, and everyone there over 60 had lost a limb due to smoking, and everyone under 60 (pretty much) had lost their in a motorbike accident. I don't know what the answer is, but I would share your concern. My dh has an ordinary bike, and I worry enough about that tbh.
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