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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To miss out on her first time...

83 replies

Babababababybel14 · 07/03/2018 07:47

Because I don't want to wear a swimsuit in public.
My daughter bathes with me. She is only 6 months but she absolutely loves water. DH wants to take her swimming for the first time today. But I hate my body. I really want to go in with her but the thought of wearing s swimsuit is making me anxious. What should I do?

OP posts:

Namechange16 · 07/03/2018 07:50

I think that mothers don't always need to do 'first time' things with their kids. It will be nice for you husband. Men don't seem to get to do many firsts.

Sparklingbrook · 07/03/2018 07:51

Honestly? Just go. Nobody will take a bit of notice. I felt the same after I had DS1 but holding the baby in front of you as you walk to the pool helps enormously.

You will have a great time.

Blinkyblink · 07/03/2018 07:52

Huge variety of body shapes at my local pool. No one seems to bat an eye.

justpoppngby · 07/03/2018 07:52

How about wearing a long Tshirt and some shorts, maybe sitting by the side of the pool splashing or throwing little balls/toys, then dipping in if you feel comfortable.

guiltynetter · 07/03/2018 07:53

i know this probably won’t make you feel any better but, NOBODY is looking at your body or what you look like in a costume. i go swimming several times a week and never even notice what other people are wearing. also, if you’re really self conscious, you could wrap a towel around yourself, and discard it at the side of the pool before you get in. once you’re in the water, nobody can really see anyway. i wouldn’t miss first time swimming with my baby for the sake of half an hour in a costume.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 07/03/2018 07:53

I absolutely promise you that nobody will either notice nor care what you’re wearing.

I had the same issues (size 24 with many wobbly bits so really didn’t want to wear one in public!) and then after going swimming and spending the whole time mortified, a friend asked me to describe 3 people who were in the pool...and I couldn’t because i was concentrating on my own stuff like everyone else there.

I highly recommend a towelling robe or cover up for as soon as you get out, purely because it’s bloody cold getting baby dressed whilst you drip in a swimsuit! It also has the added advantage of acting as a cover up if you need it to

ineedamoreadultieradult · 07/03/2018 07:53

I wouldn't worry too much about missing out. Babies only spend a very short time in the pool at first because they get cold easily and unless it's a hypnotherapy pool it won't be as warm as your bath. Also if you stay dry poolside you can take baby off to get dry and fed while DH gets himself dry which is much easier than everyone trying to do everything at once.

guiltynetter · 07/03/2018 07:54

also, if people do look, they will just be looking at your cute baby 😊

cinderellawantstogototheball · 07/03/2018 07:54

Which will you regret more when you look back on her babyhood? Wearing a swimming costume in public or missing her first dip in the water?

I would decide based on that (and if you have issues with your body, it's not an easy question, sadly). Whatever you do, hope you and your baby have a lovely time.

clairedelalune · 07/03/2018 07:56

Maybe not possible to source for today, but google different types of swimming attire. It is possible to buy long sleeved and long legged separates; these are increasingly popular in our local pool by all shapes and sizes, ages and religions. I haven't bought yet as still deciding which style I want, but I think they are a great idea (have always been baffled by why walking around in your underwear is considered odd and inappropriate, but swimwear isn't!!)

clairedelalune · 07/03/2018 07:57

And agree with pps, no one does care what others wearing

Snowysky20009 · 07/03/2018 07:58

OP I couldn't describe one person that goes swimming that sameness time as me. No one looks at anyone else- plus if they do, it will be because you have a little one in your arms, they won't actually be looking at you (sorry!).

tootiredforeverything · 07/03/2018 08:04

I felt like this too and kept putting her first swim off. Do you know what I discovered when I finally stuck my chubby post pregnancy body in a swim suit? No one took any notice... all the other parents in the baby pool had enough on their hands taking care of their children. So go and have a wonderful time together. You will be fine and no one is going to judge you, but they will love seeing your baby enjoying her first swim!

user1471459936 · 07/03/2018 08:05

Presumably you have a swimsuit that fits? In which case you can go swimming!

GU24Mum · 07/03/2018 08:06

Honestly, don't worry about it either way (I know that's easier to say than do). If you go swimming, people won't be bothered what you are wearing; if your OH takes the baby by himself, they'll both be fine and you really won't be missing out.

HannaPintura · 07/03/2018 08:06

As a size 28, 23 stone woman, I say go for it. I regularly go swimming at the pool, on holiday abroad in the pool and sea and honestly no one cares! On holiday we go to a villa in a residential neighbourhoood which has a communal pool and if the local kids were in there after school and at weekends I refused to go in, even though it was so hot and I was dying to go and cool down. One evening I decided to bite the bullet and as I walked into the pool area, I saw about 4 gorgeous tanned Spanish teenage girls and about 4 lads and I thought oh shit, and I almost turned back. Apart from saying hello, they didn't bat an eyelid, they were so busy having their own fun! No sniggers or possible comments from them as I expected. honestly, people don't care!

chocatoo · 07/03/2018 08:07

For heavens sake - I can't believe that you would let that stop you from being with your child for such a precious thing. Just go and who cares what anyone thinks.

Rewn7 · 07/03/2018 08:09

Nobody cares what you look like so try to remember that and just go for it if you really want to.

However I agree with a PP. Sometimes it’s nice for the Dad to have a first all to himself and you could watch from the viewing area and enjoy watching a special moment for him.

ForkIt · 07/03/2018 08:10

I’ve wasted years worrying on this,
Now 5 kids down my body is not impressive.... but I’m the happy woman surrounded by kids in the pool! Looking around the variation is HUGE, I’m probably actually not as bad as I feared but no one cares anyway. The only thing I think when I see another overweight woman with her child in a swimsuit is ‘good on you’ for getting in and having fun.

It takes a while to get used to not having the impressive body of youth tbh, but it doesn’t mean it should dictate your life

AnotherOriginalUsername · 07/03/2018 08:12

What concerns you most? There's usually something out there to flatter most body shapes and hang ups

FallenAngel89 · 07/03/2018 08:12

Maybe look into a private pool? We have one near us so that's where we go as I wouldn't go to a public pool either. It's not much more than it would be for us all to go to a public pool 😊

Blackteadrinker77 · 07/03/2018 08:12

I think you should suck it up and do it.

What does it show your daughter if Mum won't do things with her because of her body?

You need to address this before she is old enough to start to notice.

CurlsandCurves · 07/03/2018 08:14

Believe me, no one will bat an eyelid.

If anyone’s looking your way, they’ll no doubt be smiling at your cute daughter having fun in the pool.

NicolaNineLives · 07/03/2018 08:17

As someone else who feels hideously uncomfortable in swimwear... no, YANBU. Let your DH take her. He'll enjoy the bonding, and you'll still be there for every other "first" still to come: first word, first clap, first steps. It will be OK.

k2p2k2tog · 07/03/2018 08:20

Just go. Nobody will give two hoots about what you look like. And don't follow the ridiculous advice about wearing shorts and a t-shirt or some sort of all in one, cover every single piece of skin costume as that will draw far more attention.

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