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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cannot escape poverty, what's the cheapest place in the world for me to move to?

367 replies

despair1234 · 06/03/2018 15:36

I can't cope and getting depressed again. I can't earn enough money. Had a real go with lots of tries at being freelance, because my health problems make it extremely hard to keep a normal job. Time off for hospital appointments etc.

I'm on my own in the UK and just done. I have a partner is another country but don't have a visa.

Need to move somewhere it's really cheap to have housing and food, I can't cope here anymore. Everyday is a massive struggle worrying how to pay the bills once my savings totally run out. No money is coming in. Not entitled to any benefits apart from Jobseeker's Allowance maybe which I don't bother with because I can't stand the effect it has on my mental health.

I just can't cope. It's too expensive just being alive. I have no family I can go to stay with, there is literally nowhere to go to relax.

It's like being in a nightmare except I never wake up. Constant, constant stress of money I can never overcome. Yeah I can borrow money but have no way of paying it back if I can't earn.

Where can I go??? Where can I find somewhere to rest???? I need to calm down and can't calm down, I'm having nightmares when I'm asleep, I'm not depressed but the impossible financial reality is making me depressed...because... where can it go from here?

It will never get better? Just breathing and eating and sleeping somewhere safe costs too much money? Let alone upkeep of clothes for interviews, reliable computer to try to find jobs, even small fees for retraining???

I just want to go away and escape, I need to escape.

OP posts:
Atalune · 06/03/2018 16:35

HULL

AgnesBrownsCat · 06/03/2018 16:36

Northern Ireland ? We have just let out our two bedroom farm cottage for £90 / week and we cover the rates . We accept HB and only asked for £200 deposit as its too much to expect people to find thousands to move . The job opportunities aren’t the same as those in GB but our quality of life is very good .

PerfectlyDone · 06/03/2018 16:39

despair, your posts make for heartbreaking and infuriating reading - it is a scandal that we live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world and there are so many people feeling as trapped and disempowered as you.

Here are my suggestions, for what they are worth:

  1. Apply for PIP, when you get rejected (as chances are you will), appeal the decision. >80% of appeals are successful. PIP assessments are done by private companies who have a vested interest to reject as many applicants as possible, while earning more while the appeal process runs Hmm
  2. Is there anything you can eBay?
  3. Would you be able to tutor in a subject close to your heart? Do you speak the language your partner lives in? Would that give you some milage?
  4. Would you consider looking at a qualification to teach English as a foreign language (TEFL)? Course are available online and with the qualification you could set yourself up even by word of mouth or via notices on supermarket notice boards etc
  5. Go back to the CAB, or, even better access MoneyMatters via SocialServices. CAB are staffed by volunteers (marvellous individuals, but not necessarily qualified).
  6. Eat cake. Or chocolate. Wine in moderation. It is shit and YANBU (not that you asked that, but you are not)
Thanks
Original poster
despair1234 · 06/03/2018 16:40

MyDCareMarvel, look I'm honestly very pleased that you get PIP. So many people with disabilities are not getting it and it's a fucking disgrace.

But please stop trying to pressure me into a humiliating, stressful and ultimately fruitless PIP application.

I'm not going to talk about the exact details of my health. It makes me very stressed, embarrassed and unhappy doing so. I have given a general idea insofar that it makes a regular 9-6 full time job impossible. I know you're only trying to help by your suggestion of PIP, but I didn't ask in my post about how to claim disability benefit.

OP posts:
sirlee66 · 06/03/2018 16:41

OP I really feel for you! I have nothing to suggest apart from keeping calm and carrying on until you get some much needed respite when you visit your partner. Everything else is can think of has already been suggested.

Hopefully when you return things will look more positive for you. I really hope they do, OP.

Heggy1 · 06/03/2018 16:41

You could try the following ways of getting away:

www.workaway.info/

wwoof.net/

Maybe not a permenant solution but might gve you some breathing space? You could also try out living in another country, developing new skills etc etc

PerfectlyDone · 06/03/2018 16:41

Oops, sorry, there I suggested PIP too Blush

I know the assessment (and I use that phrase loosely...) are crap, but the success rate of the appeals might make it worthwhile??

Dodie66 · 06/03/2018 16:42

If you have a disability and could work 16 hours a week you would get working tax credits. Even Job with minimum wage would help. Go to citizens advice and ask for help.

Viviennemary · 06/03/2018 16:42

If you're only entitled you JSA will it matter where in the country you live. Surely if you rent your are eligible for HB and that will be the rate for the area. You need to apply for JSA if that's the only thing you can apply for. Of course there will be financial stress if there is no money at all coming in. You won't beat the system. Make an appointment with the Citizens' advice Bureau. Are you in a rented place now? If so who is paying the rent?

TournesoletLavande · 06/03/2018 16:43

No, but I am committed to paying my rent. I have been trying as hard as I can to use the time to find work. I want to work, I want to support myself, I don't want to aimlessly go off on a tourist visa.

But you live in a shared place, you can't have that much of a notice period? Confused I can't understand why your partner wouldn't just ask you to go there if he's serious about you. For a period of recuperation at the very least.

The best suggestion I've seen so far is Teaching English As A Foreign Language. The training is reasonably quick and cheap and you can live on peanuts in so many places. You won't earn much but if you go with some savings it will be enough to tick over on. You'd have to live very, very simply indeed and I don't know whether you would find that any more or less depressing in Vietnam or Sri Lanka than you are finding it in the UK, to be honest. Plus you need to consider what healthcare will be available to you.

If you go elsewhere in Europe you will struggle for work unless you have the language and in most places the benefits available to you will certainly not be any better than the UK. There is a reason people move from cheap countries in mainland Europe to take up poorly paid work in the UK. It's because they are better off financially than they are at home, and they have the language to be able to work at home.

But I'm not sure you really want to listen to constructive ideas. I think you just want to vent, because life is hard right now. I think you need to gird your loins and claim JSA for a start. I know it's a pain having to jump through all those hoops but it's money you can't afford to be without.

expatinscotland · 06/03/2018 16:44

You need visas to move to most places. And money.

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 06/03/2018 16:44

If the OP is too stressed to apply for JSA then applying for PIP is an absolutely no go from our recent experience, you have to get a lot of points to qualify. We found it really stressful as well.

PerfectlyDone · 06/03/2018 16:45

Another thing to consider if you were to go away-away, how would you access/afford health care? The NHS may be on its knees, but it is still there and free at the point of access.

Bombardier25966 · 06/03/2018 16:45

If you're looking for constructive advice it would be helpful to give some more specific information. What is your health condition? What country does your partner live in?

There's no shame in saying what your health condition is. No one here knows you and many of us live with long term conditions too. Plus you can change your username after and no one will be able to trace this back to you.

harlaandgoddard · 06/03/2018 16:46

Where do you live in the UK? Are there any cheaper options? Have you looked at Wales/Ireland/Scotland?

A permanent part time job? Then you can carry on with the freelance when you’re able to?

Can you apply for some agencies? If it’s a case on not knowing when you can work, a care agency would be good so you can cover last minute sickness and absence.

I’m sorry OP, it’s horrible when you don’t feel in control of your life.

PerfectlyDone · 06/03/2018 16:46

Make yourself homeless? Desperate measure, I know, but it will get you in to emergency accommodation (which can be grim, again, i know), but will bring you to SS's attention and give you more priority for help.

You could 'fall out' with your flat sharers and they could 'throw you out'??

I am shit at this.... Blush

The truth is, there IS no solution and I am so sorry.

RingFence · 06/03/2018 16:47

We do want to be together. I also want to be able to earn money of my own. It's not always a piece of piss to make both those things happen

Do you have long term plans to live together? Has he applied for a work visa to move here or you a visa to move there? If he can afford to send you plane tickets, why isn't he coming to stay with you and look after you while you're ill, and take some of the financial burden off? I appreciate you want to support yourself, but it sounds like you're at breaking point trying to do that. Living together would ease your financial difficulties considerably.

BMW6 · 06/03/2018 16:47

The idea of working on cruise ships is a good one.

MyOtherProfile · 06/03/2018 16:49

Would you and your partner consider getting married? Surely that would help you to be able to live in the same country and cut living expenses.

crunchymint · 06/03/2018 16:49

No there is no legal responsibility to house adults without kids. More likely to mean you will be sleeping on the streets and in shelters. Do not make yourself homeless.

TournesoletLavande · 06/03/2018 16:53

How old are you? Lots of elderly people who are living very comfortably in nice big houses want live-in carer-companions rather than go into a residential care home. That might be something to consider if you are a bit more mature yourself. It's maybe not appealing to a 25 year old, but if you are 40+ it might work really well. And it would leave you some time to freelance from home as well. And it shouldn't be too physically taxing.

Viviennemary · 06/03/2018 16:54

I think in the OP's fragile state of health and circumstances working on a cruise ship isn't really the best way forward. IMHO at least. Where would she live if her contract on the cruise ship finished or between cruises. It's mad.

Original poster
despair1234 · 06/03/2018 16:55

" I can't understand why your partner wouldn't just ask you to go there if he's serious about you. For a period of recuperation at the very least. "

Ok you win. I'm upset now. Thanks for your suggestion that my DP basiclly doesn't give a shit about me or I'd be over there recuperating. It's not that fucking simple, and I don't want to give up on earning my own money as opposed to going there where I'm not allowed work. I have tried to explain this several times.

I have a notice period of a month. I pay the rent with my own money, I just don't have an infinite supply.

I want to manage by myself, I want to make something work for myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
despair1234 · 06/03/2018 16:56

We have long term plans to live together.

My DP has children and they and their schooling come first. So it's not exactly like it's easy to up and move.

OP posts:
AmoraObscura · 06/03/2018 16:57

I've only read the first page, but it doesn't seem like you have any dependants. A live in job in a hotel would give you a roof and board and the work is fairly easy