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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Your kettle must be broken

170 replies

TellMeItsNotTrue · 06/03/2018 13:16

AIBU to not offer a drink to workmen who say this or similar 5 minutes after arriving? Angry

Angry it pisses me off! If you want a drink then ask for one, if you had given me a chance I would have offered you one but not 5 minutes after you turn up while you are still unloading the van and haven't even started doing anything! Angry

I always offer a choice of tea, coffee, cold drinks. I make sure I have biscuits in, I've even made homemade soup for workmen in the past when they were working on the garage in horrible weather!

So it's not like I'm mean when it comes to that sort of thing, comments like that just get my back up and then I don't want to offer them anything! So AIBU to reply "yes it must be" and then not offer a drink?

OP posts:
UrgentScurryfunge · 07/03/2018 10:44

I'm being a bit tounge in cheek, but it is pretty arrogent of caffine addicts to assume that anyone can telepathically know when they need a hit and have the means to provide it. They also seem to be strangely reluctant to try the array of other things that are avaliable in the house should my dusty out of date tea or coffee diluted down with oat milk not hit the spot.

It's not practical to keep perishable cows milk in the house to satisfy people's caffine addictions and caffine addicts are so picky over practical long life alternatives.

Red berry blush is nice. Honest! Grin

beanii · 07/03/2018 11:31

After reading a lot of these posts, no wonder Britain is the way it is! Lighten up - so much to complain about - literally someone is offended by everything nowadays. It's a cup of tea/coffee - if you don't have tea/coffee/kettle/sugar/water be polite/friendly and stop being offended.

HottySnanky · 07/03/2018 11:39

"Your kettle must be broken"
"As must your charm and manners"

melj1213 · 07/03/2018 11:50

@beanie no, I do not have to lighten up and just accept disrespectful and patronising behaviour from someone in my own home because it "was just a joke" or "not meant offensively".

Being a tradesman doesn't absolve someone of basic courtesy when making a request of the employer/customer/service user who is paying for the service.

UtterlyRainbowed · 07/03/2018 12:27

I offer to make hot drinks when people come to visit. I wouldn't make them lunch or answer personal questions about my life.

If they made it clear they expected it I would make it clear that they're grown ups and are expected to provide their own food. I am when I go to work.

iwanttoeatallthecarbs · 07/03/2018 12:53

Making workmen food and drinks? What's this about? Why can't they provide their own food and drinks like everyone else does?!
I might offer a tradie a water but that's it. Bring a thermos and a sandwich for god's sake. No other job would your employer be cooking you lunch and making you tea.

Pemba · 07/03/2018 13:17

Agreed, and I think the difference is that it is more often a woman at home who has to deal with the tradesmen. They think they can demand drinks or even meals from the little woman, even though she's actually their customer. God knows how they are with their wives/partners at home. It's pure sexism, amazing that some posters can't see it.

Strugglingtodomybest · 07/03/2018 13:39

It's pure sexism, amazing that some posters can't see it.

Really? How do you explain making coffee for trades women?

Imo, offering a beverage is purely manners.

Pemba · 07/03/2018 13:46

There are very few tradeswomen compared to tradesmen. I am sure a tradeswomen would accept the offer of a drink politely, as anyone should. But that's not what's being discussed.

Yes, offering a drink is nice, and something I would normally do. But DEMANDING drinks/food from the normally FEMALE customer, is what we talking about here. You are being deliberately disingenous.

TinyTear · 07/03/2018 13:47

this is such a British thing...

Polish movers, worked really hard, loaded the van in no time, didn't want tea or drinks...

Scottish movers, "took 5" (20 minutes) every half an hour and took three times as long to unload the van as the Polish blokes...(at least they had their own flasks or I would have pretended that they still needed to unload the box with the kettle

Strugglingtodomybest · 07/03/2018 14:23

Yes, offering a drink is nice, and something I would normally do. But DEMANDING drinks/food from the normally FEMALE customer, is what we talking about here. You are being deliberately disingenous.

Really? Because I haven't seen any demanding going on, just a guy making a bit of a joke out of asking for drink.

Pemba · 07/03/2018 14:39

It's not really a joke when he is then heard slagging off the home owner on his phone later.

Pemba · 07/03/2018 14:44

It's the rude attitude of entitlement, directed by MALE tradesman at FEMALE customers. Comments made about 'I bet her husband doesn't get his tea on the table when he gets it', etc. Even demanding drinks from the female NEIGHBOUR of the house where they are working! It paints a very clear picture.

flyingfox225 · 07/03/2018 17:37

Just give them a bad review on Checkatrade or Which? Trusted Traders - the pen is mightier than the sword!! Grin

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 07/03/2018 17:43

You'd be lucky, flyingfox, I had one site refuse to accept my review because it was too negative (that was the fucking point)!

expatinscotland · 07/03/2018 17:47

I would have rung their manager about the 'tea on the table' remark.

expatinscotland · 07/03/2018 17:49

'Polish movers, worked really hard, loaded the van in no time, didn't want tea or drinks...

Scottish movers, "took 5" (20 minutes) every half an hour and took three times as long to unload the van as the Polish blokes...(at least they had their own flasks or I would have pretended that they still needed to unload the box with the kettle'

And don't get me started about how many times they stopped to look at their phones. DH works in the hospitality industry and they are not allowed to have their phones on them. You're there to work not play on your phone.

Advicewouldbelovelyta · 07/03/2018 18:17

It's rare I even have tea or coffee in the house so workmen must hate me lol

Oscarsdaddy · 07/03/2018 18:35

Any workmen that come to us always get offered a brew more or less as soon as they arrive. If it’s a long job like all day or more then we’d offer bacon sandwiches too.

However it’s rude to suggest your kettle be broken just because you haven’t offered.

woosey35 · 07/03/2018 18:55

My mil says this. Really annoys me and then don’t like making her a drink!! To top it off, I’ve been to her house once in 8 years!!!! She lives 20 mins away but won’t have us as likes to ‘be looked after’!!
I don’t mind making workmen a drink at all, but if they’re rude (and a lot seem to be these days!!) then I don’t bother!! Hate the fact they expect to be looked after while they do their job!!!!

woosey35 · 07/03/2018 18:56

Just to add....I’ve made full on meals for those that are polite and considerate!!

mumof2exhausted · 07/03/2018 19:37

So rude. I actually find the whole brew making for work men really annoying. When I’m going to work i take my own food / drinks and if I want a coffee I go to Starbucks. I do offer a drink but it does piss me off. We’re paying you to do a job. Bet they would never say this to a man.

expatinscotland · 07/03/2018 20:01

' I do offer a drink but it does piss me off. We’re paying you to do a job. '
This. I leave out kettle, tea and coffee, milk/whitener (I can't drink milk), biscuits, mugs and tell them to help themselves, because I'm self-employed, I have to work. I'm not there to be interrupted to perform waitressing duties, I'd bill for those, I am not employed as a server. I have to work to pay the people I hire to do a job, just like anyone else. And on no planet would I expect my client to bring me drinks, make me drinks or feed me lunch, if they do, it is a courtesy, demanding it or making jokes or banter to get me to wait on people would see me without work. Duh.

Username12345 · 07/03/2018 21:16

Who knew there were so many Stepford wives on MN. Trying to outdo each other.."I get the kettle on before they even knock on the door" Ha!

They're getting paid to do a job. They're not doing me a favour. Do the job, get paid, leave. If they want snacks, they can use their extortionate earnings.

jo3009 · 07/03/2018 21:38

My landlady got some painters to paint the outside of the house (without asking us) and they were doing an abysmal job. One of them knocked and actually asked for a "cheese sandwich, no ham, just cheese". Let's just say he didn't knock again.