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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Your kettle must be broken

170 replies

TellMeItsNotTrue · 06/03/2018 13:16

AIBU to not offer a drink to workmen who say this or similar 5 minutes after arriving? Angry

Angry it pisses me off! If you want a drink then ask for one, if you had given me a chance I would have offered you one but not 5 minutes after you turn up while you are still unloading the van and haven't even started doing anything! Angry

I always offer a choice of tea, coffee, cold drinks. I make sure I have biscuits in, I've even made homemade soup for workmen in the past when they were working on the garage in horrible weather!

So it's not like I'm mean when it comes to that sort of thing, comments like that just get my back up and then I don't want to offer them anything! So AIBU to reply "yes it must be" and then not offer a drink?

OP posts:
PositivelyPERF · 06/03/2018 14:35

I have it down to a fine art. I bought a small single ring gas ring, have an old kettle, plastic box with tea bags, coffee, biscuits and old mugs. It gets left in a shed for them to use, as they wish. Can you tell I’ve had a lot of builders? 😁

citychick · 06/03/2018 14:35

YANBU, OP. That’s very cheeky.

We’ve been lucky, no cheeky fuckery for tea or coffee from the builders we’Ve had in the past.

Single tradesman - always offered when they arrive.
When we had out loft converted and at times there were far too many blokes in the house to count, it was 11am, after lunch and again at 4pm. Kit kats were in plentiful supply.

I worked from home so kept a beady eye on things, but they were brilliant. And left the place as clean and tidy as was possible.

It pays to spoil the tradesman, but any “ hope the kettle’s on luv” then forget it. Use the greasy spoon down the road...

MrsHathaway · 06/03/2018 14:36

Why do so many claim to offer a cup of tea as soon as they arrive?
I wouldn't be happy about a workman strolling into my house and immediately going on a teabreak?

Crossposted.

  1. It takes a while to make the brew.
  2. It takes a while to cool to drinking temperature after it's made.
  3. They drink it as they go along.

It's not so much feet up flicking through Hello! magazine but snatching a gulp whilst reaching for a spanner.

MsHarry · 06/03/2018 14:42

I always offer a drink within 15 mins of arriving and every couple of hours after. One plumber came down the stairs and said "Is that the kettle I can hear?" and it pissed me off. He was a cocky git and we didn't use him after that. It really shouldn't be expected anyway, Have they not got a flask?

MsHarry · 06/03/2018 14:44

Oh and I take it up to them to drink as they go, not a tea break!

derxa · 06/03/2018 14:48

Oh god I'd have just laughed and made the tea. The first time I heard this was when a parent was helping us with a repair at school. I actually thought it was hilarious. But he was doing it for nothing.

RightYesButNo · 06/03/2018 14:50

@Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar - Exactly! That’s what this is about for me.

It’s not just about being polite. I’ll general offer a cuppa to any workman who isn’t an arse. BUT this situation means they would be showing up at your house to work... and then going straight onto their tea break. If they’re charging by the hour, and if it’s something like plumbing, that can be pricey - I’d be a bit miffed. Yes, they should definitely have normal breaks, but I doubt they’re going to give up their mid-morning one because they already had a break when they first showed up. Hmm

MsHarry · 06/03/2018 14:50

It all depends on how it's said though doesn't it? Our plumber was cocky with it so that was the final straw really. He actually had a mate round while I was out and made him a drink too!!!!

derxa · 06/03/2018 14:50

Most workmen bring flasks now and I'm like Mrs Doyle saying 'Gwan Gwan...'

MerlinsScarf · 06/03/2018 14:52

I usually take tea and coffee orders once they've set up shop, and serve with biscuits. After that kind of remark, none of the above would be making an appearance!

It's hard to combat that attitude though, isn't it? They don't get the message, it just becomes a tale of mardy wives not knowing their place in the kitchen. This has given me the rage actually!

TroubledTribble28 · 06/03/2018 14:53

My uncle does that. Walks in my house and before he's even sat down will say to my aunt 'will you put the kettle on then?' Er no, make her a brew for once ffs.

beanii · 06/03/2018 14:54

I have never had a workman who has a "tea break" - lunch break yes but they just drink as the go! My husband is a joiner though so maybe we just have good workmen who crack in with the job Grin

Ladybirdbookworm · 06/03/2018 14:57

I'm shocked at the some of the comments on here
I offer anyone who comes to my home a drink more or less straight away - even ......dare I say it workmen

elfycat · 06/03/2018 14:59

I usually offer drinks as soon as people arrive. When we had an extension built I made a note of each person's preference and would make it automatically. They had free access to drinks, including fizzy if we weren't there.

Moving house (ex military family) I would always have sausage and bacon sandwich options going first thing - these people are handling all our possessions.

BUT... FIL a mysogynistic fuckwit at the best of times got the hang of the drink/snack thing and yet failed to see that his son would make refreshments as much as I. I would always get a condescending comment about the provision of his refreshments and would never thank me for them. It culminated in DH inviting him to help decorate when had insisted we have a Fuckwit-free day. I pulled DH by his lapels into my face and hissed that he would be making me tea and bacon sandwiches as decorating is MY thing.

I've never had a problem with refreshments, but I did have window fitters who saw the opportunity to get off early on a sunny Friday. They didn't tell me the bi-fold doors needed more support until they'd packed up, then jumped in the van and drove off. I called the office and demanded that they turn them around; I'd have had time to rectify the problem. One of the builders popped round and helped me fit the support. He went to chat with the fitters and laughed at them for seeing a middle-aged housewife and thinking they could get away with it and explained that I was project managing and getting my hands dirty on the job.. He then came and laughed WITH me at their stupid assumption. They didn't get any drinks offered that hot afternoon.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/03/2018 15:00

Of course you can dare to say it. Nobody is suggesting they are a sub species; simply that they're employed to do a job; not paying a social call.

expatinscotland · 06/03/2018 15:04

I really want to know in what other professions can an employee expect the employer to serve them drinks and feed them regularly as well as paying him/her for the job or he/she won't do as good a job? What do they do if there are only men in the house or no one is in there?

TartanDr3ams · 06/03/2018 15:06

Yanbu - like yourself I always offer drinks but if theyve not finished unloading yet I wouldnt rush out ti ask if theyd like a cuppa before theyve sorted their gear!
People come from such a wide spectrum its crazy - ive had both rude and arrogant workmen come in, who always think i have no clue about anything as a young woman and are taken back when they realise ive done my homework, aswell as those who seem really genuinely grateful for the offer of a cuppa. One guy I had come and service some dropped patio doors asked politely once if i could fill his water bottle for him (during the 3 days of summer we got in the UK last year) and acted like all his christmasses had come at once when i got him some cold water from thr fridge filter and not just from the tap.

HecatesBroom · 06/03/2018 15:07

Bloody hell! The "joke" about a broken kettle is one thing (love FizzyGreenWater's suggestion), but the remark about having tea on the table for your husband would lead me to call their boss and complain in no uncertain terms about the rude sexists they employed.
My workmen get coffee and biscuits mid morning and mid afternoon, but certainly not before they've done a stroke of work.

FaithHopeCharityDesperation · 06/03/2018 15:17

I always offer as soon as they arrive (ditto anyone that comes to the house).

I then say 'if you want a drink at all just ask, as I'll forget to offer'.

Never had any problem with removals guys, tradespeople etc - usually always go above & beyond for me too, and I can usually wangle a couple of extra little jobs for free too if necessary.

Must be my charm WinkGrin

*removals people get bacon butties too.

ravenmum · 06/03/2018 15:29

What happens if you don't give them a drink at all? Do they leave dirty footprints on your carpet in revenge? Do you have to give them one if they are just there for half an hour? Sorry for my ignorance, never lived in the UK as an adult. People would find the whole idea weird here :)

Ellendegeneres · 06/03/2018 15:39

No raven they shit in your lav and leave it so when you go to use it next, their humongous crap is winking at you

ravenmum · 06/03/2018 15:44

Fiendish.

expatinscotland · 06/03/2018 16:22

'What happens if you don't give them a drink at all? '

This is what I wonder. Do they expect hot drinks and bacon baps if there are only other men in the household, because I can promise you my DH wouldn't think to cook for them but I doubt they'd ask him, 'Is that bacon I smell, luv?' What if no one's there, you're all out for work for the day? What if you have to work at home and you're not available to be a waitress all day on top of paying them good money to do a job?

HangtheblessedDJ · 06/03/2018 16:27

Jeez, don't you lot have a brew when you're at work then?

I really can't believe that people resent making a drink for a tradesman at their home.

It's only a Brew

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/03/2018 16:30

Bacon butties... I suspect some people must be quite lonely or isolated, to feel the need to turn a visit from a guy to fix the boiler into a social occasion.
Why would you feel the need to cook them meals?