To feel broken by teaching, and need to know how to get out?

[SachaStark]

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I haven't slept all night after coming to the realisation yesterday that I'm finished with teaching. My school is unsupportive in every way imaginable, so I can't ask a colleague for help with figuring out what to do (it would all be fed back along to SLT), so can I please ask here?

How do you leave secondary school teaching when you're not going into another teaching role? Could I leave before the end of the school year? At this point, I don't even care if I don't have another job lined up, I just can't bear the thought of work.

OP please could I recommend a book to you - "Depressive Illness, The Curse of The Strong" by Dr Tim Cantopher. It helped me accept that I had depression and that I shouldn't feel ashamed of having it.

I am also going to PM you about my career change which may be of interest to you.

"Surprise secruitnity marking!!!

I moved to Australia and work in a top independent school. The management is completely different. No marking of books (at all!), no official homework, no lesson observations. It is all very laid back. The Australians in my school fully buy into taking mental health days. It is a lovely place to work, and despite a lack of micromanagement the teachers work hard and the results are excellent.

The conditions that teachers in the UK are placed under are horrendous, unnecessary and completely counterproductive.

To the OP: I hope you get through this. . Moving to an international school or abroad can be a way of keeping a job you love. Although a bit extreme! Isn't it so sad that so many of us have done this though?

Unfortunately, moving elsewhere to stay in the profession under better conditions isn't really an option for me. My husband's work can't be moved, and I currently have shared caring responsibilities for a relative. If DH and I weren't tied down, I reckon we'd definitely look to go abroad, though!

Does anybody know, should I inform work that I have a diagnosis? Have not had an illness before to declare, and have no idea what I am supposed to do with regard to informing my line manager or not.

Oh me oh my. Sorry to keep bringing this thread back to life, but I can't really talk to anybody about this in reality.

I privately disclosed to my Head of Faculty that I had been given a diagnosis, in the hope that they would indeed back off a bit, or at least try to be supportive. Well, the head came to find me at lunch today, AND HE KNEW (thought it was a private conversation?!) and started to essentially imply that I couldn't do my job. He also expressed his doubts about finding anything outside of teaching "in the current climate".

Oh my goodness, I have never felt so utterly TRAPPED somewhere before... and it's only a job!!

Your head sounds thoroughly unhelpful.

Have you checked out the TES forum - Workplace Dilemmas? There are lots of similar stories sadly but also lots of great advice.

Fucking hell your head teacher is a proper bully! I had one of those in my NQT year. He offered to phone a school on my behalf to decline an interview because it would make me look “flighty” if I left after 1 year! Luckily I stood up to him and said no thank you, and I got the new job.

Just leave, run for the hills!! Do not sacrifice yourself for school. (Says me sat at home with a bad chest infection contemplating marking my Y11 books!!) We are our own worst enemy in this profession. Put yourself, your family and your health before school OP.

Quit. Seriously. Quit now. Tell them you're going at Easter. A decent HT will waive the notice period for a staff member with ill health.

Get. Out.

Write down all the bullying, unhelpful bollocks they spout at you. Preferably write it down there and then, so they can see you are keeping a record of it.

When I read things like this, I am so glad I left. I know tons of teachers who left - most left without something to go to because they were brought so low. An awful lot were managed out. When someone repeatedly comes into your room to observe you and tells you what was once great (same observer) is now crap, you know you've got to go.

What can they do to you anyway, if you don't give enough notice? You've gone anyway and they have to pay you. I'd love to see them try to take it to court.

OP, I worked in a school (as a tech - Science), and saw quite a bit of SLT behaviour that you are experiencing. The room-sorting was standard, to destabilise and make a teacher feel that the 'space' was no longer hers or safe. Teachers previously rated 'outstanding' were being bullied and managed out so that they could be replaced by cheaper NQTs. We quite often had whole departments staffed solely with NQTs.
SLT would regularly decide that 'things should be shaken up' and the knock on effect permeated down to even us lowly techs. I got out, now work in a supermarket, and the relief of stress is amazing.
If they've already marked your card, it literally WILL NOT MATTER what you do now, or how incredible you are at your job, I fear they will want you gone, and may bully you until you finally crack. So I would just go now with your mental health (more or less) intact! Good luck, so many of my friends have left teaching in the last few years, and they all feel better for it.,

I know two English teachers who have gone into other fields. One writes learning material for an exam board (sorry, forgotten who, twas a long time ago) and the other taught English as a Foreign Language overseas (travelled the world) and now teaches English as a Second Language at a school in London. (Not sure what the difference is between ESOL and EFL!)

O.P please write down these conversations. Even if you don’t do anything with them it might preserve your sanity if they later deny it.

If you haven’t already, get in touch with your union rep. They know this stuff inside out, it’s what you pay your subs for and in my experience they feel like they’re on your team and that’s what you really need right now.

With your diagnoses, I am sure you could get rolling sick note until May, when you hand in your notice. I know this isn’t an appealing prospect but it sounds like you are exhausted.

I am also a teacher (of 7 years) and I really value my partner’s (of 4 years) opinion on whether I should go to work, because he is a normal, non-teacher person who puts my health and wellbeing above my job (unlike me.) For example, when I was trying to leave at 6:30am for a half hour drive to work on country lanes through a foot of snow (and mounting) he rightly pointed out that that was idiotic.

Or yesterday, when I had a fever and could barely swallow (oh hello yet another throat infection) he wondered how I would speak for 6 hours, and perhaps we should go to the doctor instead. Doctor promptly signed me off for the week and gave me a gallon of penicillin.

Listen to your partner, if he says you can cope on one wage he’s a) probably right and b) worried about you. As an aside, my current job are amazing and said, we will handle it, go to sleep and stay warm.

Also while you’re off I highly recommend watching some Queer Eye. You gotta show up for yourself before you can show up for anyyyyone else.

Sorry, OP, I haven't read the whole thread.

DH was where you are, 11 years ago. He said 'If I'm still in this job next year I will kill myself.'

We focused everything we had on finding another career for him. He had previous experience in a different industry, and although it was a huge gamble he moved back into it. We also emigrated as part of the job change.

It has had its ups and downs (eg the recession in 2009 was fecking terrifying) but none of it has been anywhere near as bad as teaching.

He's paid a lot of money now, and is very happy. His job is still stressful, but it doesn't destroy him in the way that teaching did.

I hope this helps. I feel for you!

The ridiculous thing was that he was a very very successful teacher. His department was repeatedly listed as highest achieving for a non-selective school in the UK. I think if anything that made it worse...

It gives me the rage how bullying , intimidating and fearful SLTs are of health and absence issues, mental or physical. It is short sighted to say the least. Long article in TES this week about the effect on students of teachers having poor mental health. If SLT don't care about you OP they bloody well should care about how it could affect student outcomes.And support you to get better.

I was an 'outstanding' teacher. Then my mum died. I was signed off with stress in her final weeks and I cared for her at her home. After she died I was traumatised by the things I'd seen and done while she'd been ill, I was signed off with PTSD and anxiety. On my first week back my HoD KINDLY took me to one side and suggested that 'maybe you're too sensitive for teaching, maybe this isn't for you'.

I don't know how I didn't hit her.

Enough OP-they are not going to behave reasonably and it is going to always you very unwell. Back to the dr, get yourself signed if fans get out of there. I'm angry on your behalf at the way you have been treated by the SLT.

Please don't believe them when they say you'll struggle to find anything outside of teaching in this climate. Firstly, they won't know anything about recruitment outside of teaching, and secondly teachers have so many transferable skills which could be useful in many other areas of work.

Do write down everything they are saying to you.

Write everything down. Share it with your union rep. Not necessarily a school rep but maybe your local area one.

Please, please, let your doctor sign you off sick. And resign. You have a target on your back for SLT and they will not leave you alone until they know you are going. Every teacher thinks the kids will not manage without them but they will. Your health and happiness are more important than a few weeks of work for some year 11s.

OP I’ve read most of your thread. I quit teaching in November after having my son and also having depression... not entirely through teaching but it was a contributing factor.

What your head said about not finding s job is rubbish. I’m currently at home with my little boy BUT I’ve been for five different jobs, ranging from admin to activities coordinator to other stuff and was given them ALL. Obviously I didn’t take them because they weren’t right for me, but we have so many transferable skills. Please don’t worry about not finding a job.

Thank you very much again for everybody who is sharing their stories and their messages. I really appreciate it, and have checked out a lot of the recommended resources.

Have doctor again this afternoon, so will see what she says to do next. The medication to help me sleep is working, but it does mean that I'm falling behind on marking, because I would normally be doing it at night, and I'm sleeping now.

Also, a lovely teacher who I get on well with, and who is in a much more senior position, had words with the head after he saw me, and persuaded him that he was essentially not being supportive at all. So instead of removing my year 11s from me, which they wanted to do, they have now brought it a teacher who actually left last year to be an assistant to me in the lead up to the exam. They have arranged for her to help with marking, and take out small focus groups from lessons so that I will have fewer to manage in the meantime. THAT is actually helpful to me.

Plan now is just to keep going for as long as I can, with this extra help, until the year 11s go, then survive until the end of the year.

How are you getting on now OP?

Thank you for asking, Lottie

I have survived until the Easter holidays! And oh my, so much has happened at school... I was talking with another colleague, who is also in the process of leaving, and she reckons between the pair of us, we probably have good grounds to sue the school. Not even joking. I'll try to update tomorrow, it's a long one.

Unfortunately, the FE job didn't work out. I was called to interview, but was the only external candidate, so was up against it from the start, really.

Definitely leaving at the end of the year, going to use some time this week to explore options for supply teaching.

Ooh please update if you can, I would be interested to hear!