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Original poster

To feel broken by teaching, and need to know how to get out?

253 replies

SachaStark · 06/03/2018 05:52

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I haven't slept all night after coming to the realisation yesterday that I'm finished with teaching. My school is unsupportive in every way imaginable, so I can't ask a colleague for help with figuring out what to do (it would all be fed back along to SLT), so can I please ask here?

How do you leave secondary school teaching when you're not going into another teaching role? Could I leave before the end of the school year? At this point, I don't even care if I don't have another job lined up, I just can't bear the thought of work.

OP posts:
mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 06/03/2018 11:46

Sacha, I used to wish for a small car accident (not involving anyone else,) on the way to school so I wouldn't have to go in. I was a junior teacher and it isn't any better. I really miss the teaching but not all the other crap that comes with it. Get yourself well.Thanks

Original poster
SachaStark · 06/03/2018 12:58

Finally got through to the GP, no phone call back from the doctor until Thursday morning Sad Guess I'm waiting until then.

OP posts:
Original poster
SachaStark · 06/03/2018 13:04

Oh God, just got the confirmation, and it's also with the most unsympathetic doctor working at the surgery. Treated me horribly years ago when I was younger. Feel like I may as well cancel the call back now.

OP posts:
Bekabeech · 06/03/2018 13:19

I would call your Union helpline and get their help and advice. You probably need to see occupational health at some point anyway. (I'd also think seriously about finding another GP - you should always be able to see a Doctor the same day in an emergency).

Headofthehive55 · 06/03/2018 13:19

You can sign yourself off sick for stress.

Headofthehive55 · 06/03/2018 13:21

Drs are much more sympathetic to stress and the mental health issues it causes. The dr might surprise you.
For what it's worth I earn more and I am respected and valued where I work now. It's not teaching...

2kidsnopets · 06/03/2018 13:51

Op, go to your doctor tomorrow morning when it opens, (so you don't have to wait on the phone) and tell the receptionist that you need an emergency appointment for the same day because you are considering harming yourself. if they don't give you an appointment then they are utterly useless and need to change surgery.
I am a teacher, currently on a break because my kids are small and I couldn't face the workload while trying to be a good parent. I don't know if I'll go back or not, it's changed a lot in the 13 years since I trained.

chickenowner · 06/03/2018 16:10

How are you feeling OP? I hope you're managing to rest and are not planning to go to school tomorrow!

Dakiara · 06/03/2018 16:41

I left teaching three years after qualifying; from all accounts the pressures have drastically increased since. I recently decided not to go back into it, despite missing the actual teaching bit (physics).

When I left I entered the gaming industry, though I'd also considered a two year course in a practical arts subject.

I left, then basically asked a temping agency for related jobs to the industry I decided to work in and kept going until I had what I wanted. Unfortunately I ended up redundant, but I started a family soon afterwards, so it worked out timing wise. :)

Your school sounds awful, incidentally.

Don't feel guilty about your Year 11s. You're not well, and they should be fine doing reading and revision.

We were always expected to set work (text book page numbers and questions would do) when absent, though others in my department, who were awesome, thankfully, would have covered for me.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/03/2018 16:46

Don't cancel, OP. Stick to your guns and get GP to take you seriously. Burst into tears if you have to!

Hope a couple of days off helps you to de-stress a little.

Diaryofapeabody · 06/03/2018 17:18

Saschastark :
Don’t cancel your gp appt. Hopefully, ‘ years ago ‘ won’t reflect the ‘now.’ And if you tell the gp what you have told us, that gp will , I’m hopeful, respond by signing you off to give you a breathing space in which you may feel a bit more able to realise the reality for you, and what you might need to put in place to feel safe and better placed to plan your next step.

I’m speaking to you, a stranger, from a place I was in some years ago, including the vaguely formulated but present thoughts of self harm. I held a senior post in social work. . It took some courage and a leap of faith to begin the telling. But it began to change my life , and life is worth it.

Please try to get some support for yourself, and please put yourself first at this time. And please believe that you have a future, and that future includes happiness , and that this is something within your grasp. Change seems and can be scary, but so often is much better than our imagining. Have courage!

Original poster
SachaStark · 06/03/2018 17:31

Thanks all, will keep the GP appointment. Just for your info, and sorry if TMI(!), the "years ago" was when I was in my late teen years, when I became sexually active. I suffered with, and still suffer with to a smaller degree, extreme vaginal pain in sex, and was given this doctor by the surgery to address the issue. She brushed me off multiple times without even giving me any internal exams, and had a very horrible, "Silly little girl, stop making a fuss" approach towards me. It took three years and saving up to go private to be diagnosed and prescribed medicine which helps to take the "edge" off, at least, but if she'd just taken me seriously and examined me right away, it would have saved several years of heartache and enduring painful sex (because I was eighteen and knew no better) and thinking I was abnormal, which had a profound effect on me as a young woman.

Anyway, sorry, that was a big off-topic, TMI rant! But this would be the reason I am hesitant to believe this GP will be sympathetic. I'm sure it will be different for this issue, but I will admit that I'm not looking forward to that callback.

In the meantime, HOD has left me a voicemail to let me know there will be a surprise marking scrutiny in English tomorrow, and to make sure I had my books prepared.

OP posts:
Diaryofapeabody · 06/03/2018 17:39

That’s an awful history Saschastark, and your reluctance is understandable.
But I hope you can go forward with the gp, if not, please see another. You need support and help. I hope you get it, and really wish you the best, and a far happier future.

TheZeppo · 06/03/2018 18:32

Fuck them and their surprise marking scrutiny right off. They sound utterly intolerable.

I'm an English secondary teacher too. Your Year 11s will be fine. They really will.

I've had enough too. This thread is giving me the courage, so thank you!

TheZeppo · 06/03/2018 18:33

Just out of interest, what is their marking policy? I bet it's ridiculous. No one ever seems to grasp the sheer bloody volume of things that we mark, never mind the fact it's rarely just a quick tick!

Singingtherapy · 06/03/2018 18:51

This thread is so upsetting to read. I'm not a teacher but from the numerous threads like this one it's clear that the teaching profession is on its knees. Why just why can't the government see what's going on! OP is tutoring an option? My daughter's tutored by an outstanding maths teacher who left due to stress last year.

JT05 · 06/03/2018 19:00

Me again. I would seriously advise you to call in sick tomorrow. Keep a diary of any communication with school.
This includes the ‘surprise ‘ marking check. No decent HOD, knowing that you were stressed would do this to you.
Maybe they thought they were being helpful warning you about the ‘surprise ‘! But in fact they have added to your stress.
Try and have a good nights sleep.

TotHappy · 06/03/2018 19:08

Sorry haven't rtft but i too live in rural Cornwall and left 2 years ago after 5 years in the profession... Secondary RE. That was me at the absolute end of my tether, the last year i really was just marking time... I got pregnant, grabbed a redundancy with both hands and didn't go back. It's not you. It's them. They're throwing teachers under the bus and you have to realise NOTHING is worth the mental collapse. We can't protect the students from all the horrible new initiatives anyway.
I'm a shame now, have no idea at all of what other 'career' i could do as i went into teaching straight after graduation. I have a first class degree from a top university but... There's something about the job that grinds you down and saps your confidence and makes you believe you can't do anything else. It's stifling. I'm so so sorry you're still in the shit of it xx

TotHappy · 06/03/2018 19:10

I'm a sahm 🙄 Freudian slip there!

Lottie2017 · 06/03/2018 19:12

I think you definitely need to stay off tomorrow and make it clear that you are off due to anxiety/stress, therefore you will not be taking part in marking audits and they should not be contacting you regarding anything like this. As a fellow English teacher, I feel for you and understand why you feel this way about the job.

Taxiparent · 06/03/2018 19:13

I’ve sent you a pm!

clairedelalune · 06/03/2018 19:27

For those of you reading this thread who are not teachers, yes it is this bad. Most of my friends and colleagues have felt / feel like this. I had a career break and went back with a 'it's just a job' attitude which is the only way to get through it. It is a job where you are constantly put down and given unreasonable and unachievable targets. It is not always that easy to find other employment as a career change often requires a huge pay cut while you start out again.

I did pm with my story/how I now function. I just want to add that I think you should call in sick again and don't open your work emails at home (except for sending in your cover, which unfortunately most schools expect you to do). I never open work emails at home, my stress halved when i stopped doing that.

NoIdeaWhatToSay · 06/03/2018 19:31

Oh OP, I was you about 18 months ago - down to the 'surprise marking scrutiny'. I taught English for 12 years and one day I just decided that enough was enough. I was signed off sick by my GP and after a few months I was able to figure out what to do next. At first I wanted an answer immediately but this just made things hard, I really stressed myself out more because I wasn't used to being without stress.

I changed careers completely for a year and then recently I've got back into teaching, but I'm a different context and for a company not a school. It's lots better for me, I'm loving the freedom and I've rediscovered my love for teaching which I never thought I'd do.

Your school sounds toxic and as daunting it is to leave, it's more dangerous to stay. You need to look after your mental health and right now your body and mind are telling you they've had enough. Have a break. I hope you're feeling better soon, there is life after teaching so don't feel like it's your only option.

LadyRenoir · 06/03/2018 19:31

I would leave too (Secondary languages as well) but have no other experiences except for hospitality, which I hated with passion, plus no way I would get anywhere near as good a salary as I have at the moment, no way I could do office work which pays 60% of what I have atm...

worlybear · 06/03/2018 19:48

Definitely take sick leave. As to the future- have you considered TEFL?
I teach ESL in a private language school on the coast.
The pay is less than state school but the workload is manageable and class size under 15.
I was in your position 5 years ago.
I left state school. Best decision I ever made.☺