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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel broken by teaching, and need to know how to get out?

253 replies

SachaStark · 06/03/2018 05:52

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I haven't slept all night after coming to the realisation yesterday that I'm finished with teaching. My school is unsupportive in every way imaginable, so I can't ask a colleague for help with figuring out what to do (it would all be fed back along to SLT), so can I please ask here?

How do you leave secondary school teaching when you're not going into another teaching role? Could I leave before the end of the school year? At this point, I don't even care if I don't have another job lined up, I just can't bear the thought of work.

OP posts:
Jackanorystory · 06/03/2018 06:42

Get yourself to the docs. I was signed off this year after 15 years in the job. If you can't face going in then it's a sign of stress. The doc will sign you off in an instant

Itscolderoutside · 06/03/2018 06:43

I am just a parent but it is sad to think anyone teaching my daughter today could be feeling like this. I am not surprised though.... teaching seems such a tough role and having an unsupportive atmosphere at school must grind you down. Years ago my GP signed me off work for several weeks due to a different kind of stress. It gave me time to depressurise really, stop crying, start sleeping and so on. If you could get this (or if not, take a few days self cert), you might find it easier to think of another career option, and with a plan, it might be less draining to work out your notice. Of my friends who are teachers, the happiest I know are working in private schools or tutoring/exam marking rather than being in the classroom. And your skills in presentation, assessment, time management etc must be very transferable. Does your locall careers service support adults, they might have some ideas to start you off. Good luck!

Nuffaluff · 06/03/2018 06:44

Could you hold on until the end of the year? Perhaps knowing that you’re going to hand your notice in next half term will be enough to keep you going. Then you’d be paid over the summer too.
You could do supply in a primary school as well as secondary couldn’t you? Fewer hormonal strops to deal with.
When I talk with my friends about leaving, we always dream of working in John Lewis. I think loads of leaving teachers end up there or in M & S!

Labradoodliedoodoo · 06/03/2018 06:44

Gp today. Time off. Then leave once gcse kids are gone

Original poster
SachaStark · 06/03/2018 06:46

Thank you everyone for the advice, you are all so helpful. I won't go in today, and I will ring the doctor and explain. I can't stand the thought of going in, but I'm also terrified in case I'm signed off, because what will happen to my year 11s?

Part of me also wants to just go ahead and hand in my resignation tomorrow because I just don't care anymore, and I want them to know that I have no intention of staying after this year.

OP posts:
Makingworkwork · 06/03/2018 06:47

I have PM you.

HelenaJustina · 06/03/2018 06:47

A family member recently moved to teach in their first private school after 30 years of teaching secondary maths. They are a different person!

The days are longer but they get a lunch hour for their first time in the profession, their free periods are protected, class sizes are 2/3s the size, holidays are longer etc. Definitely worth a look...

Labradoodliedoodoo · 06/03/2018 06:47

Have an extended summer off. May to September to really recover because it will take a few months. You can use the time to reflect and work out a way forward.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 06/03/2018 06:48

Also there teaching English to people who have English as a second language or home schoolers.

Pengggwn · 06/03/2018 06:49

SachaStark

Your Y11s are only your responsibility if you are well enough to be in school. That is one of the things SLT and Heads of Department are paid for - to manage the situation if a teacher can't be in school.

hesterton · 06/03/2018 06:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quickchange1 · 06/03/2018 06:50

Please go the doctors. I remember fantasizing about slowly crashing my car so id break maybe my leg so I couldn't go! When I told the GP I was signed off for 4 weeks. It's very common in teaching. Then you have some time to take stock and re evaluate. If DH is supportive then why not. I changed schools after 3 months off sick and it was the best thing ever. Take care

Labradoodliedoodoo · 06/03/2018 06:50

Look you’ll probably be signed off for two weeks but your GCSE kids will manage. It will be fine. Email direction to the subject head and head of year.

user1991 · 06/03/2018 06:51

You can leave OP. My DH was a teacher for 10 years - workload and culture not worth the salary, was all making him miserable. He handed in his notice and left (the week I found out I was pregnant, whoops!). Started doing any office temp jobs he could get, min wage for a few months, then rejigged CV to apply for 'proper' professional jobs nearer the average national salary mark. Took a couple of fixed term contracts. 2/2.5 years on he's making the same as he was teaching (near enough) and soooooo much happier in his easygoing (not teaching/educational related at all) office job; teaching feels like a lifetime ago. He's home at teatime every night, with the evenings to himself, energy for the DC, no more parents' evenings, no more Sunday book marking etc etc. You can do it and be back to a Mainscale salary within a couple of years if you use the energy that teaching was sapping to start a new career. You can do it OP!!!

BluebellTheDonkey · 06/03/2018 06:51

and I love the thought of working with the kids, but then being allowed to just walk away.

This is the best part of my job as a TA. I don't stop from the minute I walk in the door to the minute I leave, but then I leave it behind until the next day. That way I am there for my pwn children. The oay is rubbish but the life work balance makes up for it.

Bekabeech · 06/03/2018 06:52

Go to the GP.

There are actually quite a few jobs for which having been a teacher is useful. Lots with organisations such as the National Trust as an "Education Officer" for example. People have also gone into Tutoring. And lots of people I know have had a few years out and then gone to a different school and found it all much better.

BluebellTheDonkey · 06/03/2018 06:52

Typos sorry
own
pay

Original poster
SachaStark · 06/03/2018 06:53

Oh, I definitely wouldn't be suited to primary! I don't like the little people very much, not my cup of tea. Honestly, the students are in no way part of wanting to leave, they are the very, very best thing about my day. It's the workload and toxic environment I've had enough with.

And yes to the poster who mentioned the crashing the car slowly idea. Those are the sort of thoughts I was having around half two this morning.

OP posts:
Liverbird77 · 06/03/2018 06:57

Been in your situation, so firstly I want to say I know how horrible it is. Yes, there are ways out. Check TES under "other workplaces". I had an interview last week for a job as a trainer/coach...as it happens I didn't like it in the end, but it just shows you there are options. Don't leave at Easter if you can help it. The summer term is by far the easiest and then you'll have the blanket of summer pay. Also, consider whether it is your specific school making you feel this way. There are some nice ones out there. Maybe look at small independents? Anyway, good luck and remember...this WILL pass xx

deptfordgirl · 06/03/2018 06:58

I was secondary english and my last job almost caused a breakdown. I wasn't aware how bad it was until I left and suddenly felt so much lighter and happier. I had been having panic attacks and intrusive thoughts which just went after I left.

You must put your mental health before your year 11s. They are almost at the end now, they really should know as much as they can and now it will be mainly revision which I'm sure other teachers are capable of doing with them. I have seen many techers leave early/get signed off and their exam classes are always fine. I know it's easy to feel guilty but they are very resilient and will be fine without you.

If you hand in your notice now you can leave at half term after Easter and get signed off until then if you need to.

Before i got a new job I did a lot of exam marking, tutoring, selling resources, etc. There are things out there before you find something more permanent.

Flatwhite32 · 06/03/2018 06:58

YANBU @SachaStark. It's such a hard job, and the lack of respect from some of the general public ("all those holidays, primary teachers colour in all day", "you finish at 3.15" etc) drives me insane when we all work so hard, many of us are at breaking point. The only reason I still teach (full time primary) is that I have a wonderfully supportive school. This can make all the difference. Perhaps there is a better school out there for you. However, I do think you need some time out at the moment, and thinking about another job needs to come second to your mental wellbeing. I would definitely go to the GP to see what your options are. I went through a phase last year of being mega stressed after losing a baby at 12 weeks the returning to work 11 days later. I really struggled to cope with the workload. GP was wonderful, and gave me lots of options - being signed off, phased return, reduced hours etc. It's definitely worth making an appointment.

InspMorse · 06/03/2018 07:02

YANBU

  1. Get signed off - work related stress. Tell the GP what you have told us - especially the bit about hurting yourself.
  2. Make a plan. You can leave whenever you like - nobody owns you. Yes, there are officially 'set times' to hand in your notice but if you need to leave then leave. Request a meeting and tell him that you have two choices - long term sick leave or leave for good.
  3. If supply doesn't phase you - go for it. As an English teacher you will always be in demand and leaving your current job will NOT affect your ability to find work.

As for your Year 11s - I'm afraid your health & wellbeing comes first. Your school will put another teacher in your class. It's up to THEM to ensure that person is up to the job NOT you.

As for supply, you can earn a decent wage and you are never tied in.

FWIW, my friend did all of the above & her life has changed dramatically for the better.

Get out of there & good luck OP!

Original poster
SachaStark · 06/03/2018 07:03

Okay, I've done the first step and rung in. I need to write cover work and send it now. Then I think the doctors surgery opens at 8, so will try to ring dead on then.

OP posts:
InspMorse · 06/03/2018 07:04

That should read 'request a meeting with your HT and tell him/her you have two options...'

InspMorse · 06/03/2018 07:08

Great! Don't overthink the cover work. Are you DOS or HOD? If not and you are signed off (don't resist this - get signed off) leave cover work to them. It's time the school supports you.