Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it wrong to ask kids to pay for sweets.

63 replies

lovechocolates · 05/03/2018 15:57

hi. i dont know if Im being unreasonable or not and need reasurance. I was at work yesterday and DH too the kids (7 and 9) for their weekly shop. He brought some Haribo, which i saw i the cupboard. Anyway, today i said to my 7 year old, "would you like some?" He replied, "if i have some, i have pay daddy 70p". I was like, "What??" He explained DH told him, he has to pay for the sweets out of their pocket money if they have any. I'm all for kids being independant and buying their sweets with their pocket money, but i assumed he had brought the sweets for the whole family to share. Apparently, the 7 year old didn't have any yesterday, but the 9 year old did and paid for them. AIBU to think this is harsh and surely the sweets should just be shared out.

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 05/03/2018 15:59

That's a dick move Hmm

MyBrilliantDisguise · 05/03/2018 16:01

If the child requests it, it comes out of pocket money. If your husband's just put them in the trolley, they're for the family.

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/03/2018 16:01

It’s weird. Buying their own sweets is fair enough I suppose, if they get their own money... but buying them to open his own tuck shop in the cupboard for his kids seems a tad strange

movinonup · 05/03/2018 16:02

That is fucking ridiculous.

SEsofty · 05/03/2018 16:03

Do they get pocket money, and do they get the same?

If so then he is teaching them a lesson about costs etc

Shedmicehugh · 05/03/2018 16:06

My son gets pocket money he buys his own sweets etc.

If I go shopping and buy cakes or crisps or other goodies I don’t charge my son!

Eatalot · 05/03/2018 16:07

Its odd I guess but I dont see the problem. Wherr do the kids get their pocket money from. Unless they have jobs they are not actually paying for anything they are just having their sweets rationed.

choli · 05/03/2018 16:09

It's one way to make the kids mindful of how much sweets they eat.

StickThatInYourPipe · 05/03/2018 16:10

Did DH buy them because he wanted them or did the dc ask him and he said if you the then you have to pay when they want some?

SashaGem · 05/03/2018 16:10

Your DH is a dickhead. Greedy shit just wants them for himself. Why would you buy sweets and not share them with your family. Fucking weirdo.

Thingsthatgo · 05/03/2018 16:18

In primary school I used to get pocket money once a week which we were allowed to spend on sweets if we wanted, or save up for a toy. I always spent it on sweets
My parents didn’t buy sweets on the whole, so if we wanted them we bought them. I think it was a pretty good system.

Remote1candles · 05/03/2018 16:34

If my son wants sweets, then he buys them with his pocket money. He is quite happy with this and does sometimes choose them when he is in the supermarket with my husband. He also knows where they are cheapest (corner shop or Aldi) and shops around when he can. I think this is a good way to teach him how to manage his money.

My husband also likes sweets but would rarely buy them for himself. When he is given some for a present (quite frequently as he is difficult to buy for) then they are put away on a different shelf. Not really sure what the issue is here? Perhaps suggest the kids have their own box / shelf for any sweets bought with their pocket money, so you know that it is not a general purchase.

saoirsesoige · 05/03/2018 16:35

The word is bought.

Have you not asked him rather than asking us?

FullMetalRabbit · 05/03/2018 16:35

FFS, I buy my DD sweets occasionally and she works full time and pays us keep!

Meanness is such an unattractive trait

BishopBrennansArse · 05/03/2018 16:36

Defo a twat move by your DH.

LadySainsburySeal · 05/03/2018 16:37

Why doesn't he go the whole hog and charge them rent, too? Hmm

DalekDalekDalek · 05/03/2018 16:38

Either he buys them and lets them have them or he tells them to buy sweets themselves using their pocket money. He can't just buy them, put them in the cupboard and make them hand over their money for them. Surely anything in the food cupboard is for the family? Does he do the same with biscuits? Crisps? Their dinner?

falsepriest · 05/03/2018 16:39

Eh? Ask your DH.

Original poster
lovechocolates · 05/03/2018 16:39

hi. I spoke to the kids a bit more. Basically DH brought the sweets. He said, If the kids wanted to have them, they would need to pay him. I am a bit shocked to hear this and thought, surely if you buy some sweets, it's just kid to share them with the kids. (It wasn't a small bag). I found out, nether actually had any sweets, as they would rather keep their money. they do have pocket money, but tend to save it up for bigger things. I just think it sounds a bit mean of him to buy a big bag of sweets and not share them. Maybe he was trying to teach them the value of money, but it's not something i would do. Buy a bag of sweets, share them with the kids. It's just kinder.

OP posts:
DreamingOfAHotBeach · 05/03/2018 16:41

Are your children charged for other food or just sweets?

Original poster
lovechocolates · 05/03/2018 16:41

True, i am just getting my info just from the kids. I think we need to have a chat about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
lovechocolates · 05/03/2018 16:42

No. just sweets.

OP posts:
csigeek · 05/03/2018 16:43

I'd understand if they'd asked and were to pay back out of pocket money if it was left at home, we do that with DSD - if she wants something when we're out we're trying to teach her the value of money so she has to pay herself out of pocket money she does jobs to earn but she doesn't always remember her purse.
If he bought the sweets because he wanted to then he's a dick for saying the kids have to pay!
Totally should work the other way around! If they have Easter eggs he wants to share...he needs to pay them!

BackforGood · 05/03/2018 16:45

I found out, nether actually had any sweets, as they would rather keep their money. they do have pocket money, but tend to save it up for bigger things

Well, there you go. They are learning about budgeting, and making choices with their money.
I thought that was the point of having pocket money.
Yes, if my dc want me to get them sweets from the shop then they give me pocket money for them. Otherwise, what is the point of having pocket money ? Confused

Completely different from cake, biscuit etc the family have in the kitchen. If they've got him to buy Haribo, then it seems right it comes from their money.
Can't understand the outrage here.

Bluelady · 05/03/2018 16:45

I can see a perverse kind of logic operating here - teaching them the value of money, discouraging them from eating lots of sweets - but it feels wrong somehow and I can't put my finger on why.