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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it wrong to ask kids to pay for sweets.

63 replies

lovechocolates · 05/03/2018 15:57

hi. i dont know if Im being unreasonable or not and need reasurance. I was at work yesterday and DH too the kids (7 and 9) for their weekly shop. He brought some Haribo, which i saw i the cupboard. Anyway, today i said to my 7 year old, "would you like some?" He replied, "if i have some, i have pay daddy 70p". I was like, "What??" He explained DH told him, he has to pay for the sweets out of their pocket money if they have any. I'm all for kids being independant and buying their sweets with their pocket money, but i assumed he had brought the sweets for the whole family to share. Apparently, the 7 year old didn't have any yesterday, but the 9 year old did and paid for them. AIBU to think this is harsh and surely the sweets should just be shared out.

OP posts:
Aridane · 05/03/2018 18:27

Sounds a good idea

Original poster
lovechocolates · 05/03/2018 18:41

Hi. Had our discussion and I feel a bit silly I've jumped to conclusions. Basically, they're out shopping and 3 packets of sweets were purchased. One each basically and all choose their fav. Like fizzy or original. (I only saw 1 packet but realize now there's more). Dh said, you owe me money out of pocket money for the sweets. Fair enough. Got home and I think the kids had second thoughts and decided they'd rather keep the money, so decided not to have any sweets, although they are sitting in the cupboard. I asked DH if he'd charged them if they did eat them. He said, probably not. Probably forget etc. Turns out a lot better than I originally thought and feel bit silly now.

OP posts:
Shedmicehugh · 05/03/2018 18:46

That sounds better OP!

LegallyBronde · 05/03/2018 18:47

I think it depends if the kids asked for the Haribo in the supermarket.

If they did, and Dad says something like " You can put them in if you pay for them?" I can see that happening. My son asked for loads of expensive things in the supermarket when he was little and I would often tell him he could have it if he would pay for it. Sometimes he did, but more often than not he didnt Grin. Would your DH be the sort of person to do that and follow through? A lesson in not pestering in the supermarket?

LegallyBronde · 05/03/2018 18:48

Blush crosspost. Glad it was nothing OP

darkriver198868 · 06/03/2018 15:08

Nooo!
My stepfather did this. I had a paper round when I was 13. I had to pay for the electric when I played a computer game! (I think at one point it was £2 for half an hour of electric) It didnt teach me value of money.

notacooldad · 06/03/2018 20:45

You keep saying brought, do you mean bought? Your post doesn't make sense otherwise
FFS. There's always a smart arse. You know what the OP means.

LetsGoBitches · 06/03/2018 20:58

Your kids will always remember what a tight wad their dad is.

I think being selfish, and tit for tatting about such little things, teaches kids that you’re selfish, petty, and keep score. It certainly doesn’t teach them the value of money!

Another vote for your DH doing a dick move!

FunnysInLaJardin · 06/03/2018 20:59

sorry OP I still think he is mean. My dad was like this, really mean and it taught me nothing about money just not to be mean myself. When we shop the kids always want a treat and they get to chose one thing each. I wouldn't dream of charging them.

How much pocket money do they get?

FunnysInLaJardin · 06/03/2018 21:00

dark that is another level of meanness! What a twat

KarmaStar · 06/03/2018 21:16

That's really unfair,.If they have regular pocket money and choose to buy sweets that's one thing.buying family shopping then telling they have to pay for it?what does he charge for toast and marmite??

emmyrose2000 · 06/03/2018 23:30

The update doesn't change anything for me. Husband is still mean and petty.

JanDough · 07/03/2018 08:27

Of course he's a wanker and mean blah blah. He's a man after all Hmm

My parents (yes, my Mother as well) would have made us buy treats out of our pocket money ie. money they gave us for treats. It gave me an understanding of opportunity cost and the value of money and delayed gratification when saving up for something. They also ran a 'bank' with a 25% interest rate if we didn't have our weekly pocket money for 2 months.

Of course we were given things like an ice cream if out as a family and other treats. There was always cake etc in the house but sweets are different.

It's a little worrying to imagine how so many children are going to become barely functioning adults when the notion of paying for things is considered mean. I guess we're already seeing the results with the current generation of 'adults'.

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