To think you wouldn’t judge someone for their size?

[Lovey46]

So I was sitting with a friend in costa having lunch when she pointed out that the barista who served us was rather large, I honestly hadn’t noticed- she was polite and friendly and made me a nice coffee. Yes she was overweight but so am I and I would have thought that by now people would look past things like that. This woman isn’t really a friend my dd likes her ds so we meet up sometimes so the kids can play, I did ask her Why it mattered to her that this lady was overweight and she just said she thinks fat people shouldn’t do certain jobs as it is off putting🙄 I didn’t really say anything else as I don’t know her that well. I didn’t dare tell her that I was a personal trainer who had seriously let myself go since having dd or that I was hoping to return to work this year and now she’s got me worried people will judge me!! Anyway after what she said I’m not sure I want to be around her anymore, my dh thinks I am overreacting a bit. What do you think?

I'd have asked her if she thought women doing certain jobs was off-putting. Or black people. And maybe have asked her for a list of the jobs this applied to.

She sounds horrible. I'd hate to think people are saying things like that about me! I know people think things like that but I wouldn't expect anyone to say it. I'd be steering clear!

I would think the same as you - that I didn't want to be around her much from now on.

The thing about this is that what she has said reflects incredibly badly in her, rather than on anyone else. I would be ashamed to be so shallow and judgemental, and it indicates a deep seated dissatisfaction with her own life. Please don't let this affect your own confidence. People with her attitude are few and far between and are to be pitied if they can't embrace the richness of diversity amongst their fellow humans.

Wow she sounds like an absolute cow. I hate people who make personal comments on the appearance of others. It’s so nasty. I wouldn’t go out with her again if I were you.

I would have asked her, so what jobs do You think should fat people should do? She sound lovely!

Anyone who does this isn’t worth wasting time on. Who gives a shit how fat or thin someone is unless you plan to sleep with them, box against them or give them a modelling contract? What an odd way to live one’s life!

She sounds awful but people do judge others based on size. There have been studies in to how being overweight can have an impact on how much/Little you are respected in the workplace..

At least you know not to spend any more time and energy on her. This is all about her and nothing about the waitress.

Im surprised you didnt realise people do judge people on their size, ofcourse they do. My sister is terrible for it. Literally rips one of her friends to shreds behind her back saying she's too big to wear certain dresses.

Your friend is awful. ‘Off putting’?How weirdly shallow is that?!

Honestly, I get so frustrated with people who say stuff like that. I mean, I can only assume that she is desperately in need of her own self-esteem being boosted. It is still a strange thing to say.

Like others have said it says alot about her and nothing about the waitress. She must be terribly insecure!

Off-putting how horrible.

You’re a personal trainer who is surprised to hear that people judge others because of their size

I'd have asked her if she thought women doing certain jobs was off-putting. Or black people.

What on earth does race have to do with being fat? You can't choose what race you are!

Surely as a personal trainer you would realise that most people judge others on size. Subconsciously or consciously

I'd have asked her if she thought women doing certain jobs was off-putting. Or black people

That’s one of the worst analogies I’ve ever heard.

Yes my in-laws are like this. They can’t help themselves from pointing out when someone is overweight, make comments about their clothes etc They were constantly laughing at Susan Calman on Strictly every time she danced. I think it’s just rude and cringey when they do it.

It’s not that I didn’t realise people judge others because of how they look just that it’s so unfair to be disrespected because you don’t look a certain way. I’ve really struggled with my weight since having dd and am heavier than ive ever been even though I still go running everyday and teach Zumba every Saturday. Obviously I will try and get into shape before going back to work but she’s made me so anxious about people not wanting me to train them and what the class I teach say about me behind my back 😢
Yes being a personal trainer I know people judge others but I hoped the fact that I’m fit and can still make my class sweat is more important than the fact that I’m overweight.

Unfortunately that kind of attitude exist, but is rare. In my experience it is the kind of thing that women who are pretty bitch/not nice generally say. I think you are right to avoid her, as you would anyone who makes bitchy derogatory comments about peoples appearance.

I have to admit if I go into McDonalds and the person behind the counter is big and pasty looking with bad skin it does make me more likely to reconsider eating there.

If a personal trainer had a bit of baby weight it would probably make me more likely to feel happy using them as they would ‘get’ it. But I suspect the sort of person who had always been buff might be a bit put off, particularly as they would be worried that a trainer who was more unfit than them probably wouldn’t be able to give them their money’s worth. I’m not sure that it wouldn’t be unfair for them to do that either, I mean, if your personal trainer can’t keep up with you on a run then they’re not really doing their job are they?

Reminds me of my exes mum who would complain about how fat and unattractive the nurses attending to her husband in hospital were. She commented that they should have put some dolly birds on to cheer up the old men. . Explains a lot about my ex and his view on women ...

I think it's maybe a bit naive to think an exercise class won't be bothered by on overweight instructor. I'd certainly wonder how it was ever going to help me if even the instructor couldn't maintain a healthy weight, despite (presumably) doing more classes than me a week.

I wouldn't comment on someone being overweight but will admit I sometimes do a double take when I see people who are absolutely huge. I don't mean to, it's just an instant reaction.

I personally would judge an overweight personal trainer.

All of today’s treads seem to be a rehash of last weeks!!
We discussed this ad nauseum with the overweight offputting gym employee.

I’m kind of fat. I take extra effort with hair, makeup, nails, etc - because I know people judge me. It happens that I have a disability which has contributed to my weight gain, but that’s not immediately obvious.
I’m fed up of feeling judged and expected to be a bit stupid, just because heavier than I was 5 years ago.