To think you wouldn’t judge someone for their size?

[Lovey46]

So I was sitting with a friend in costa having lunch when she pointed out that the barista who served us was rather large, I honestly hadn’t noticed- she was polite and friendly and made me a nice coffee. Yes she was overweight but so am I and I would have thought that by now people would look past things like that. This woman isn’t really a friend my dd likes her ds so we meet up sometimes so the kids can play, I did ask her Why it mattered to her that this lady was overweight and she just said she thinks fat people shouldn’t do certain jobs as it is off putting🙄 I didn’t really say anything else as I don’t know her that well. I didn’t dare tell her that I was a personal trainer who had seriously let myself go since having dd or that I was hoping to return to work this year and now she’s got me worried people will judge me!! Anyway after what she said I’m not sure I want to be around her anymore, my dh thinks I am overreacting a bit. What do you think?

If I was in the market for a personal trainer I wouldn't have issues with one who was struggling with their weight as well (as long as they knew what they were talking about). Personally, I think I'd prefer it, as it means you'd have a better understanding of what I'm going through.

Frankly my experiences with personal trainers of the buff variety haven't been good, and their lack of understanding of distasis recti is one of the reasons it's as bad as it is, and why I have 2 herniated discs in my back. I found they weren't interested in listening so much as weight lifting.

Yanbu to find this comment a turn off. It’s tough when your dcs play together and you’re forced to socialise with people you wouldn’t normally choose to.

I’ve got one of these too fwiw. She spouts utter bollocks about current affairs, talks over me all the time and is very opinionated about how other people should parent, (being a sahm is best, judgemental comments about a mutual acquaintance who chose not to bf). We always end up having to host, even when she’s invited us to play, (something always comes up last minute). I honestly just really dislike her company. The final straw was when she made a stupid, judgemental comment about me having a c section, instead of “natural birth” while her dc was busy battering and pushing around my dc who had been really good about sharing her toys etc, (that day at least). I decided then and there to nip the play dates in the bud. Life’s too short sometimes. Harder when your dcs actually like each other and play well together though.

I’d be tempted to bring some papers / magazines “to discuss / gossip over” if I had to keep seeing this one op. So you don’t have to actually talk to her too much, just look at your reading material a lot.

Fatism is the last 'ism' that's widely considered acceptable.... along with ageism

Oh and re the PT being overweight thing; davina macall’s PT had a weight problem at one point and davina looks fucking amazing. I don’t think many people would argue with the PT being good at her job.

I agree with your husband.

you will interact with people through life who have differing opinions on all manner of things (rightly or wrongly so).

I'd have replied 'We'll have to disagree on that one, are we still taking the DC swimming this week?'.

I wouldn't distance myself from someone because they were ignorant (which this friend is) and I certainly wouldn't sit and let it fester.