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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is nothing wrong with being lazy?

84 replies

crunchymint · 04/03/2018 13:59

I am not talking about neglecting your kids, but it seems to be seen as morally superior to be busy. Whereas I think there is nothing wrong with being lazy.

OP posts:
PasstheStarmix · 04/03/2018 14:25

there’ll*

MerryShitmas · 04/03/2018 14:26

Oh goodness, you know my intent now?
Stop being offended by things people say on the internet. It'll save your blood pressure, honestly.

I was merely stating the difference (in my own opinion) between a lazy person and a normal person being lazy for some of the time. I don't know why you're so het up about it.

DamsonOnThisDress · 04/03/2018 14:27

Nothing wrong with lazy.

We're all built differently. Some people can't sit still, others can lose a weekend on the sofa.

As long as it doesn't affect anyone, including yourself, detrimentally I see no harm. It's ok to lounge.

That said I'm prone to weekend laziness but there's always an underlying guilt.

I always feel better when I've accomplished a lot. But accomplishing is so tiring... Couldn't be at it all the time. Is why we have boxsets.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 04/03/2018 14:27

I like to be busy. I always have. My mind is always on; so i get tetchy if I spend too long not doing anything!

That said; I still love a lazy day. I was planning a swim today and little else; just me and DP. Our plans have been moderately interrupted and I'm mourning how good our day could have been! Some downtime does everyone good.

PasstheStarmix · 04/03/2018 14:27

Talith Oh god I miss weekends like that. Ds had me up at 6am after a turbulent night to say the least...so jealous

Ohhgreat · 04/03/2018 14:29

As a child of parents who believed laziness was the root of all evil, and that sitting down in front of the tv was ridiculous, it has taken me a long time to realise you don't have to be busy the whole time. I do think I have a tendency to procrastinate and I try to stop myself doing that, but I've come to accept I can sit down at 8pm and watch tv and that's fine!

Eolian · 04/03/2018 14:31

YANBU. As long as someone else isn't having to compensate for or suffer for your laziness, then I don't see why anyone would do more than they need to. Busyness for busyness' sake, or for appearances' sake, or to prove you have the moral high ground, is foolish imo.

BeyondThePage · 04/03/2018 14:32

there is a time and a place I guess, but laziness as an overall life trait is not to be applauded.

I have 2 daughters, one is helpful, does things that need doing, gets her schoolwork done.

the other does the bare minimum, does nothing unless asked to, scrapes through on her brains and minimal effort with schoolwork,

and wonders why her sister is generally more popular.

It is hard to tell your child they are lazy.

Original poster
crunchymint · 04/03/2018 14:37

Is being popular all that matters?

OP posts:
mynameisLuca · 04/03/2018 14:39

Stop being offended by things people say on the internet. It'll save your blood pressure, honestly

Saying you are offensive is not the same thing as me personally being offended.
How about you stop being offensive on the internet?

cloudyweewee · 04/03/2018 14:40

I have no kids. I have spent today sitting on the settee watching Columbo/Touch of Frost etc I intend to continue to do as little as possible for the rest of the day. Far too cold/snowy outside although i did venture across the road to buy a bag of Wotsits and a mint Aero.

BackforGood · 04/03/2018 14:41

There is a mid ground between being lazy and being busy, it's not one or the other. Periods of one or the other are fine, consistently one or the other isn't great for anyone's mental health really.

I don't think being fundamentally a lazy person is something to be admired really.

This ^ as Bluntness said, and many others have suggested.
Probably good for everyone to have a 'lazy day' or hour or week in their lives, but if they are only ever lazy, then that is different.

pigsDOfly · 04/03/2018 14:41

Laziness is only enjoyable and indulgent if fitted in between bouts of business. Constant laziness is just never having anything much to do, that can't be enjoyable surely.

fusushumi · 04/03/2018 14:42

BeyondThePage is the helpful one the elder of the 2?

Original poster
crunchymint · 04/03/2018 14:43

Okay, why does general laziness matter?
Assuming your kids are well looked after, obligations are met, why does laziness outside of this matter?

OP posts:
DeleteOrDecay · 04/03/2018 14:44

YANBU. On the odd occasion GP's take the dc for a weekend, me and dp can easily spend the whole weekend on the sofa/in bed playing video games and watching films. It's the best.

I mean if we wanted to we could use that time to clean the whole house top to bottom, but where's the fun in that?

I do feel guilty sometimes for my laziness but maybe that's down to how other people perceive laziness. I mean obviously if you're neglecting your kids then that's bad but choosing to watch tv instead of folding that huge pile of massive laundry kind of lazy is fine and it's not hurting anyone even if some people like to make out you are!

I agree it's not ok to expect others to pick up your slack.

woodhill · 04/03/2018 14:44

I'm not doing much today. I always feel guilty not doing stuff

Winebottle · 04/03/2018 14:44

I like to use my efforts efficiently at work, home or anywhere else. I think people who are constantly busy often take on too much and do stuff that doesn't really need to be done. I try to work smart rather than hard. But, unfortunately, some stuff does need doing so I have to force myself into action even though I would rather stay on the sofa.

Gwenhwyfar · 04/03/2018 14:45

Agree in general, but tomorrow I'm going to have to call a college to tell them I'm not coming for the exam because I've been too lazy to prepare for it. This is not part of a qualification I really need, but my laziness in this case has been quite annoying.

On the other hand, laziness at work can lead to greater efficiency when people find a faster and easier way of doing something.

Winebottle · 04/03/2018 14:46

Assuming your kids are well looked after, obligations are met, why does laziness outside of this matter?

Lazy is a negative word. It implies you are not meeting your obligations.

Gwenhwyfar · 04/03/2018 14:47

"Busyness for busyness' sake, or for appearances' sake, or to prove you have the moral high ground, is foolish imo."

Quite often a sign of masked unhappiness I think. Some people can't be alone with their thoughts.

wanderings · 04/03/2018 14:52

I'm a firm believer in "sparkling clean house = wasted life". I don't spend hours on housework every day; but when I do it, I like blitzing it, so that the result is really noticeable!

My parents were very hard-working; holidays had to be "busy", going to lots of places, but they also insisted on an hour or so of "quiet time" at weekends, and on holiday, and I remember defending my own "quiet time" with vim! I call it "downtime" now, and sometimes I have to book it into my diary.

Lifeisabeach09 · 04/03/2018 14:52

I'm very lazy at home but not at work.
Will leave dishes in sink for a few days (hate dishwashing) but leave laundry piled for a day or two (better with this). I tend to vacuum/clean bathroom/mop as needed rather than regularly.
But will tidy up and make beds. Weird.
I love being lazy! It's just DD and I so we can please ourselves.

fusushumi · 04/03/2018 14:53

I remember on my PGCE course a tutor saying we should beware of labelling any child in our class as "lazy". He said we should turn this around and ask ourselves: how can I engage that child so that they learn?

I have never forgotten this (it was 35 years ago!) and find I always think about what might be going on, even outside the classroom, because it is a pejorative term

BertieBotts · 04/03/2018 14:53

I think it has the negative connotations because in the past life was a lot of hard work, everyone had to be working basically all the time or nothing would get done! And this was stuff like ensuring the home you lived in was watertight and heated, that there was food for the family, etc - just basic survival stuff in itself was a lot of work and everybody had to pitch in because there was so much to be done.

Therefore, if you weren't working, you were shirking responsibility which somebody else would have to fulfil - and that is lazy.

These days we have so many labour saving devices that it's actually fine to be lazy. But some people retain this view that laziness is inherently bad. I don't think it is at all. It's only bad if it means others have to pick up what you are neglecting. For example it would be lazy for one partner to lie around on the sofa all weekend while the other partner looks after the children, washes the clothes, cooks dinner etc.